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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

It was YOUR decision. So no CS!

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post
You find out you're pregnant. Talk it over with your SO and he explains that he doesn't want a baby right now. You don't care and decide to keep it. Do you feel that he should still be obligated to pay CS even though it was YOUR final decision to go through with it?
Posted by Anonymous on Oct. 7, 2012 at 1:14 PM
Replies (111-120):
Momof5kids84
by on Oct. 7, 2012 at 1:56 PM
1 mom liked this
I think that along the lines of "you play, you pay." Abortion can still be an option if both parties agree upon it, but I think that the decision to keep the baby should also reside to both. If a man should opt to keep an unwanted pregnancy, he should be responsible for all the prenatal care, and for insuring the child after birth. Legal documents should be signed within the first 3 months of conception that terminate parental rights. This would work much like adoption with the other party given a time period to change their minds. Basically, the same rights that are given to women concerning reproduction should be given to men. I know the whole stay out of my uterus argument, but you shouldn't have had sex then. Carrying a child is taxing, yes. I have done it 5 times, and on my 6th as we speak, but women are all for equal rights when it benefits them and only them.

However, I see your point about double standards, and you're right. They exist, and most will never change.


Quoting one_on_the_way:

The only reproductive right a woman has that a man doesn't have is the right to choose abortion.  

She gets that right because it is her body that carries pregnancy.  A man can't force her to abort or force her to carry the pregnancy.  

Things will never be fair and equal here.  Never.

I'd like to see what people want to 'fight for' when it comes to men and giving them a right to walk away with no financial or physical consequences to being part of a conception.  

What do you suggest?



Quoting Momof5kids84:

Does this mean that we should not fight to give the same reproductive rights to men? No, it means that the laws need to catch up with the times.



Quoting one_on_the_way:

She can have an abortion if she doesn't want any kids, but gets pregnant.  

He can't.

Is this NOT KNOWN to men before they have sex?  Is this some sacred information they only find out about until after they knock a girl up?  

No - they know this.  Men have a choice.  They have a choice to have sex with a girl, or not.



Quoting militarywife09:

Well then so should she.








Quoting Beth3721:

Yes.  It takes two to make a baby.  He should just keep it in his pants if he doesn't want any kids.






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kmorales7690
by Ruby Member on Oct. 7, 2012 at 1:57 PM

 well a woman has a right to choose abortion, or adoption, or to keep the baby, so I don't see why a man shouldn't have the right to choose whether or not he wants to take care of an unplanned child!

Quoting one_on_the_way:

 

Quoting kmorales7690:

 not if he wants to give up rights to the baby, then I guess he shouldn't have to. She decided to have sex just as much as he did, she knew pregnancy was a possibility, and she should have known that there was a possibility that the SO didn't want a baby.

Well, now there's a reason for men to go around having sex with whoever they like and not give one thought or care to controceptive.  I don't know about you, but I lay awake at night thinking "How can we make it fair for guys and unplanned pregnancies?  I mean, women can choose abortion and all.  Oh, I know....let's make it so guys can just say "it's your problem, woman" and happily walk away.  That will make things fair!"

In other words....

Let's not only make it the woman who gets pregnant....the woman who is faced with the moral dilemma of possibly going through an abortion....the woman who is faced with labor and child birth....the woman who is faced with (probably) being the parent to care for and raise the child....let's ALSO make it the woman who must solely provide financially for that child (whom she was unable to abort due to her personal convictions)....or, of course, if she can't financially provide for the child alone, she can always give her baby to some other couple who can afford it.

And, what do the men face in this scenerio?  Oh, that's right.  A good fuck.

 

 

one_on_the_way
by Silver Member on Oct. 7, 2012 at 1:57 PM

There is no 'out' for a man that will ever compare to the woman's 'out' of abortion.  

In the mean time, if the woman can't bring herself to go through the 'out' of having a baby removed from her body.....what happens then?

Quoting Momof5kids84:

This is true. I don't believe in sex before marriage, personally.

A woman isn't forced into parenthood at all. A woman doesn't have to pay for her mistake in this instance. I think that men should be given the same out. Everyone makes mistakes especially when they're young.


Quoting one_on_the_way:

Yep.  It is a double standard.  One that is quite clear.  Men know it exists.  They aren't clueless. 

He's allowed to make a mistake -- he just has to pay for it.  So does the woman.  

Of course all of this can be avoided if the two people having sex actually know each other and trust each other on their views of pregnancy, abortion and adoption.  It's called a conversation.  Most don't have it and then cry about it later when faced with their mistakes.


Quoting Momof5kids84:

So, let me get this straight. A man is never allowed to make a mistake, and women never lie about BC. This is such a double standard.



Quoting one_on_the_way:

Yes.  Men know that their choice on the matter ends with choosing to have sex with a woman.  If she gets pregnant, he has no choice about whether the woman continues the pregnancy or aborts it.  If she gets pregnant and decides to have the baby, he is financially obligated to support his baby.  No argument - at all.  Why?  Because men KNOW THIS when they decide to put their penis inside a woman's vagina.  It isn't some secret or something.  That is why men who do not want to have a baby right now should only have sex with women they know will have an abortion or give the baby up for adoption if she gets pregnant.  If he doesn't know what she'd do if she gets pregnant, he should ask her before having sex with her.  Far out concept, huh?

Oh yeah...and it sucks and is so unfair to be a guy, and stuff.



Momof5kids84
by on Oct. 7, 2012 at 1:57 PM
Lol

Quoting AnjalisMommy07:

Eh. I sure as hell am not waiting until I get remarried for sex. I'll probably wait 2-3 weeks before I go pounce his ass.




Quoting Momof5kids84:

True, or how about waiting until marriage? I know, it's old-fashioned.





Quoting AnjalisMommy07:

I understand what you are saying. That's why it's important to be on the same page before shit like this happens. Know your gf wouldn't have an abortion? Then wear a condom!








Quoting Momof5kids84:

Sure, he did, but a man can't force a woman to become a parent. Therefore, he should be given the same right to choose.









Quoting AnjalisMommy07:

He knew there was a chance of pregnancy when he had sex.


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alexsmomma06
by Platinum Member on Oct. 7, 2012 at 1:58 PM
Exactly


Quoting MyCrazy4InTX:

Nope. If a woman can decide whether she wants to be a mom or not, a man should decide if he wants to be a dad or not.

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brettsmomma
by ~Tammie~ on Oct. 7, 2012 at 2:00 PM

yep! 

Quoting MyCrazy4InTX:

Nope. If a woman can decide whether she wants to be a mom or not, a man should decide if he wants to be a dad or not.



DamiensMommy1
by on Oct. 7, 2012 at 2:01 PM
he shouldn't be the only responsible party. she knew just as well if you have sex there's a chance you can have a baby.


of course I think any dad should be responsible and support his kid, but he shouldn't be forced into having a child a mother can terminate without his consent


Quoting one_on_the_way:



Quoting DamiensMommy1:

should he be a decent person? yes.



there's too much of a grey area here for me. she could have had the abortion if she wasn't ready and said tough luck to dad.. so dad should be able to do the same. I hate double standards.

How is the woman's body having to carry the pregnancy not a double standard?

Sometimes double standards are simply biological....

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mamanista345
by on Oct. 7, 2012 at 2:03 PM

Okay so every women are virgin marys right? Didn't think so, it takes two people to make a kid. Even if SHE descided to keep it and the dad didn't want to keep it. It's his responsibilty as well

parentalrights1
by on Oct. 7, 2012 at 2:03 PM

Yep.

Sorry but once a child is born then their rights supercede the rights of the parents.

When a woman is pregnant her rights supercede the fetus.

Sorry, but pregnancy isn't fair. Men are at the mercy of the woman if a pregnancy occurs so they need to be careful. It's not about being fair to the man because of what the woman did. It's about being fair to the child that is now in this world and needs food and shelter.

Tough.

Momof5kids84
by on Oct. 7, 2012 at 2:03 PM
It would depend upon what was discussed before this. If the guy was upfront with not wanting the child, then the woman knows that the responsibility would fall on her. Sounds harsh, but I would say the same if the roles were reversed.
Quoting one_on_the_way:

There is no 'out' for a man that will ever compare to the woman's 'out' of abortion.  

In the mean time, if the woman can't bring herself to go through the 'out' of having a baby removed from her body.....what happens then?


Quoting Momof5kids84:

This is true. I don't believe in sex before marriage, personally.



A woman isn't forced into parenthood at all. A woman doesn't have to pay for her mistake in this instance. I think that men should be given the same out. Everyone makes mistakes especially when they're young.




Quoting one_on_the_way:

Yep.  It is a double standard.  One that is quite clear.  Men know it exists.  They aren't clueless. 

He's allowed to make a mistake -- he just has to pay for it.  So does the woman.  

Of course all of this can be avoided if the two people having sex actually know each other and trust each other on their views of pregnancy, abortion and adoption.  It's called a conversation.  Most don't have it and then cry about it later when faced with their mistakes.



Quoting Momof5kids84:

So, let me get this straight. A man is never allowed to make a mistake, and women never lie about BC. This is such a double standard.







Quoting one_on_the_way:

Yes.  Men know that their choice on the matter ends with choosing to have sex with a woman.  If she gets pregnant, he has no choice about whether the woman continues the pregnancy or aborts it.  If she gets pregnant and decides to have the baby, he is financially obligated to support his baby.  No argument - at all.  Why?  Because men KNOW THIS when they decide to put their penis inside a woman's vagina.  It isn't some secret or something.  That is why men who do not want to have a baby right now should only have sex with women they know will have an abortion or give the baby up for adoption if she gets pregnant.  If he doesn't know what she'd do if she gets pregnant, he should ask her before having sex with her.  Far out concept, huh?

Oh yeah...and it sucks and is so unfair to be a guy, and stuff.



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