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It was YOUR decision. So no CS!

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post
You find out you're pregnant. Talk it over with your SO and he explains that he doesn't want a baby right now. You don't care and decide to keep it. Do you feel that he should still be obligated to pay CS even though it was YOUR final decision to go through with it?
Posted by Anonymous on Oct. 7, 2012 at 1:14 PM
Replies (171-180):
celestegood
by Ruby Member on Oct. 7, 2012 at 2:39 PM
Far too many men already walk away from their responsibilities as it is. They have a choice in the matter-they can choose to have sex or not have sex.
By choosing sex, they are choosing to be a father. It's always a possibility, unless they lack sperm and the woman does not have a uterus.
It can happen.
I don't get why this is so hard for men to understand.
And you know what? Men have given their consent to the woman to do as she pleases with the seed he gives her. It's implied in the sexual act.


Quoting one_on_the_way:

So, your proposal is that men have no responsibiltiy in the situation at all.  You know, just like how women have no responsibility in the situation at all.  is that right?


Quoting LizzieAnnesMom:

Why is it ok for a woman to be able to write off a child if she doesnt want it but a man cant? If we are going to be fair then they should both either have the same opportunity. No one forces a woman to have an abortion. She is free to give up the baby for adoption.

Quoting one_on_the_way:



Quoting LizzieAnnesMom:

I think men should have the option to just give up their rights if they dont want the child.

I think if they can do that....they must also go through a procedure on their man parts that carries the risk of possibly never being able to have children again....possible injury to internal organs....possible allergic reaction to medication....increased chance for mental health issues, up to and including suicidal ideation and attempt....cramping....bleeding....etc.  You know, a physical procedure similar to abortion.  And, he should have to walk through a line of picketting people condemning him to hell for his decision.  Hey, we want it to be fair, right?



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1plustwinsmommy
by Platinum Member on Oct. 7, 2012 at 2:39 PM
This exactly.


Quoting AnjalisMommy07:

He knew there was a chance of pregnancy when he had sex.

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QueenBof6
by Ruby Member on Oct. 7, 2012 at 2:39 PM
1 mom liked this
And because it is her body and ultimately her decision she should better protect herself. Take her pill on time, stop poking holes in shit, you know. Stuff like that.

If one has a choice the other should as well.


Quoting one_on_the_way:

Exactly.  Things will NEVER be fair in this.  They just can't be.  The real solution here is to have men and women choose carefully who they have sex with and actually have serious conversations about this topic before they are faced with the situation.

Of course, many people choose to ignore the possibilities and then cry and whine about it when the inevitable happens.  

There will always be someone with more power in the situation.  Right now....that power is held by the woman simply because it is her body that holds the pregnancy.  If it were the man's body who held the pregnancy, the power would be in his court.  

I really don't get why people want to try to make this 'fair'.  It is impossible.



Quoting QueenBof6:

If you really want to talk about fair, what about the pregnancies that are terminated that the man wants. Nothing he can do about that right. He can't force a woman to have his baby. That's pretty unfair. It's just the way the cookie crumbles due to biology.







Quoting one_on_the_way:




Quoting LizzieAnnesMom:

I think men should have the option to just give up their rights if they dont want the child.

I think if they can do that....they must also go through a procedure on their man parts that carries the risk of possibly never being able to have children again....possible injury to internal organs....possible allergic reaction to medication....increased chance for mental health issues, up to and including suicidal ideation and attempt....cramping....bleeding....etc.  You know, a physical procedure similar to abortion.  And, he should have to walk through a line of picketting people condemning him to hell for his decision.  Hey, we want it to be fair, right?


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Paige03
by Silver Member on Oct. 7, 2012 at 2:40 PM

No I don't think he should have to. He should have the option of signing away all rights to the child. Sometime birthcontrol fails and sometimes one person lies about said birth control to trap the other....there are so many different situations that could happen. If one parent doesn't want to be a parent they should have the right to back out. It's should be in a certain time frame but none the less still an option.

CDMelty
by Bronze Member on Oct. 7, 2012 at 2:44 PM
1 mom liked this

I think that it's unfair for men that women get to choose whether or not to go through with a pregnancy, whther or not to keep a child, and then the guy gets no choice about CS. But I think it's unfair that a woman goes through the physical pregnancy, labor, delivery, and the general assumption of custody, and all a guy has to do it pay 20% of his income and maybe sacrifice a weekend or two a month. I think when it comes to the biology of reproduction, it's all skewed unfair anyway.

I got pregnant accidentally. I wasn't all that involved in the conception even (never said yes, never said no, wasn't even conscious at the time).  And when I chose to keep the baby, to become a mother, I left the father out of it completely. I never took him to court, never asked for, or received, child support, and aside from a half dozen or so times in the first 6 years of her life (and she's 14 now) he never even saw her. No visitation schedule or anything. I treated it as if I'd gone to a sperm donor because I knew he wouldn't want to be involved and quite frankly, he wasn't good enough for my kid. But I could make it without him. I had means. If I hadn't, then of course he would have paid for the kid. It's not about the father, OR the mother. It's about the damn kid. Anti-CSers need to figure that out. It doesn't matter at all if it's fair toward the father because he's not the important one. The KID is.

motherslove82
by Ruby Member on Oct. 7, 2012 at 2:45 PM

I don't think "not going through with it" should be an option, so both parents should support the child they created.

one_on_the_way
by Silver Member on Oct. 7, 2012 at 2:46 PM

Men can make that decision.  Only, their decision is earlier in the process.  Their choice in the matter ends with their choice to have sex with the woman.  After that point, the choices are hers to make.  That may not be fair - but life isn't fair sometimes. And, I can't say this enough -- the MEN KNOW THIS is how it is when they CHOOSE to have sex with the woman.  They ARE NOT VICTIMS.

It sounds like you think the man should still have choice after he impregnates a woman.  She can tell him "I'm pregnant" and he can go to the courthouse and sign a legal document to sign away his rights and therefore have no financial responsibility to the child.  

Then, it is up to the woman if she can financially support the baby by herself.  If she can't, she can either have an abortion or give the baby up for adoption.

Either way, she is taking on physical and emotional risks that the man will never have to take by simply signing a piece of paper.

But, this seems fair to you?


Quoting LizzieAnnesMom:

If women are allowed to choose whether or not to parent a child, Why cant the man make the same decision?

Quoting one_on_the_way:

So, your proposal is that men have no responsibiltiy in the situation at all.  You know, just like how women have no responsibility in the situation at all.  is that right?

Quoting LizzieAnnesMom:

Why is it ok for a woman to be able to write off a child if she doesnt want it but a man cant? If we are going to be fair then they should both either have the same opportunity. No one forces a woman to have an abortion. She is free to give up the baby for adoption.

Quoting one_on_the_way:


Quoting LizzieAnnesMom:

I think men should have the option to just give up their rights if they dont want the child.

I think if they can do that....they must also go through a procedure on their man parts that carries the risk of possibly never being able to have children again....possible injury to internal organs....possible allergic reaction to medication....increased chance for mental health issues, up to and including suicidal ideation and attempt....cramping....bleeding....etc.  You know, a physical procedure similar to abortion.  And, he should have to walk through a line of picketting people condemning him to hell for his decision.  Hey, we want it to be fair, right?





luvem630
by on Oct. 7, 2012 at 2:46 PM
No
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Anonymous
by Anonymous on Oct. 7, 2012 at 2:46 PM
He can. He decided to not use a condom. Alas, he decided to become a father. Men don't get to opt out. The end.


Quoting MyCrazy4InTX:

Nope. If a woman can decide whether she wants to be a mom or not, a man should decide if he wants to be a dad or not.

Mychele
by Ruby Member on Oct. 7, 2012 at 2:46 PM
Yes. Sex =babies. It's not rocket science.
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