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It was YOUR decision. So no CS!

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post
You find out you're pregnant. Talk it over with your SO and he explains that he doesn't want a baby right now. You don't care and decide to keep it. Do you feel that he should still be obligated to pay CS even though it was YOUR final decision to go through with it?
Posted by Anonymous on Oct. 7, 2012 at 1:14 PM
Replies (181-190):
hollydaze1974
by on Oct. 7, 2012 at 2:47 PM
Yep, because his penis was part of the "problem" If he didn't want a child, should've put a raincoat every single time.
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one_on_the_way
by Silver Member on Oct. 7, 2012 at 2:49 PM


Quoting Paige03:

No I don't think he should have to. He should have the option of signing away all rights to the child. Sometime birthcontrol fails and sometimes one person lies about said birth control to trap the other....there are so many different situations that could happen. If one parent doesn't want to be a parent they should have the right to back out. It's should be in a certain time frame but none the less still an option.

Right now, the possibility of an unwanted pregnancy serves as a deterrent for men to have irresponsible sex.  If all he has to do is sign a piece of paper....do you think the deterrent of unwanted pregnancy still exists for him?

.thatsme.
by on Oct. 7, 2012 at 2:50 PM


Quoting wkukid:

If you have sex you know pregnancy is a possibility. Everyone involved should have to pay.
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LizzieAnnesMom
by ☆Mrs.Winchester☆ on Oct. 7, 2012 at 2:52 PM

It works both ways. The woman knows that she has a chance of ending up pregnant if she decides to have sex so her choice should end there as well. Women who choose to have sex and end up pregnant are not victims either. She knows when she has sex with him that it can end in 9 months of pregnancy and then labor and deliver and still 18 years of raising a child. Dont act like women are innocent victims who had this thrust upon them. They know that they will be the ones who are carrying the child and will have to go through the extra problems. Like you said. Life isnt fair sometimes. They know that going in. 

Quoting one_on_the_way:

Men can make that decision.  Only, their decision is earlier in the process.  Their choice in the matter ends with their choice to have sex with the woman.  After that point, the choices are hers to make.  That may not be fair - but life isn't fair sometimes. And, I can't say this enough -- the MEN KNOW THIS is how it is when they CHOOSE to have sex with the woman.  They ARE NOT VICTIMS.

It sounds like you think the man should still have choice after he impregnates a woman.  She can tell him "I'm pregnant" and he can go to the courthouse and sign a legal document to sign away his rights and therefore have no financial responsibility to the child.  

Then, it is up to the woman if she can financially support the baby by herself.  If she can't, she can either have an abortion or give the baby up for adoption.

Either way, she is taking on physical and emotional risks that the man will never have to take by simply signing a piece of paper.

But, this seems fair to you?


Quoting LizzieAnnesMom:

If women are allowed to choose whether or not to parent a child, Why cant the man make the same decision?

Quoting one_on_the_way:

So, your proposal is that men have no responsibiltiy in the situation at all.  You know, just like how women have no responsibility in the situation at all.  is that right?

Quoting LizzieAnnesMom:

Why is it ok for a woman to be able to write off a child if she doesnt want it but a man cant? If we are going to be fair then they should both either have the same opportunity. No one forces a woman to have an abortion. She is free to give up the baby for adoption.

Quoting one_on_the_way:


Quoting LizzieAnnesMom:

I think men should have the option to just give up their rights if they dont want the child.

I think if they can do that....they must also go through a procedure on their man parts that carries the risk of possibly never being able to have children again....possible injury to internal organs....possible allergic reaction to medication....increased chance for mental health issues, up to and including suicidal ideation and attempt....cramping....bleeding....etc.  You know, a physical procedure similar to abortion.  And, he should have to walk through a line of picketting people condemning him to hell for his decision.  Hey, we want it to be fair, right?







one_on_the_way
by Silver Member on Oct. 7, 2012 at 2:54 PM

I fully agree.  I especially like how you worded it "men give their consent to the woman to do as she pleases with the seed he has gives her.  It is implied in the sexual act."  

Very well said.

And, if the woman chooses to grow that 'seed' and give birth to a child conceived from that 'seed'.....the child has a right to support from not only his/her mother....but his/her father as well.  If men don't like not having any control over that kind of situation, the SHOULDN'T give their seed to a woman who will make a decision with it he disagrees with.  

Like you said....it isn't that hard of a concept to understand.

Quoting celestegood:

Far too many men already walk away from their responsibilities as it is. They have a choice in the matter-they can choose to have sex or not have sex.
By choosing sex, they are choosing to be a father. It's always a possibility, unless they lack sperm and the woman does not have a uterus.
It can happen.
I don't get why this is so hard for men to understand.
And you know what? Men have given their consent to the woman to do as she pleases with the seed he gives her. It's implied in the sexual act.


Quoting one_on_the_way:

So, your proposal is that men have no responsibiltiy in the situation at all.  You know, just like how women have no responsibility in the situation at all.  is that right?


Quoting LizzieAnnesMom:

Why is it ok for a woman to be able to write off a child if she doesnt want it but a man cant? If we are going to be fair then they should both either have the same opportunity. No one forces a woman to have an abortion. She is free to give up the baby for adoption.

Quoting one_on_the_way:



Quoting LizzieAnnesMom:

I think men should have the option to just give up their rights if they dont want the child.

I think if they can do that....they must also go through a procedure on their man parts that carries the risk of possibly never being able to have children again....possible injury to internal organs....possible allergic reaction to medication....increased chance for mental health issues, up to and including suicidal ideation and attempt....cramping....bleeding....etc.  You know, a physical procedure similar to abortion.  And, he should have to walk through a line of picketting people condemning him to hell for his decision.  Hey, we want it to be fair, right?




justahousewife
by on Oct. 7, 2012 at 2:57 PM

He has the right to revoke his rights as the other parent. That is his choice. He will not be obligated to pay CS after that. If he does not wish to revoke his rights then, yes, he should pay CS. 

Every man has the option of stepping out of the parental role. If they choose not to than they have an obligation to support the child.

MyCrazy4InTX
by on Oct. 7, 2012 at 2:59 PM
Really? It may not happen everytime, but condoms break you know. And what about women who abort? They're "opting" out right then. Like I said before, complete double standards. Another funny thing is women bitch about double standards all the time, and surprise surprise, look what we have here. I'm ashamed of my own gender half the time and it makes me thankful the way I raise my daughters.


Quoting Anonymous:

He can. He decided to not use a condom. Alas, he decided to become a father. Men don't get to opt out. The end.




Quoting MyCrazy4InTX:

Nope. If a woman can decide whether she wants to be a mom or not, a man should decide if he wants to be a dad or not.


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one_on_the_way
by Silver Member on Oct. 7, 2012 at 3:01 PM

I'm not thinking about the women here....I'm thinking about the CHILDREN.  

Men aren't victims.....women aren't victims.  Men know they can get a woman pregnant (and their choice ends).  Women know they can get pregnant......

However, women know that if they do get pregnant - they will have a choice on whether or not to continue the pregnancy.  And, they know that if they choose to continue the pregnancy, the law will require the man to financially support the child as much as the woman does.  Some women would much rather cut the man out of the picture and let him 'off the hook'.....however, that means she must earn enough money to financially support herself and the child by herself.  That isn't always an option.  Child care is extremely expensive -- food and diapers and clothes are expensive.  

The other option for her is to go on public assistance.....but, the government is NOT GOING TO pay to help support a child when the father isn't even paying to support the child.  If the woman can't afford to financially provide for the child by herself....the law REQUIRES her to ask for support from the father before she can ask for any public assistance.



Quoting LizzieAnnesMom:

It works both ways. The woman knows that she has a chance of ending up pregnant if she decides to have sex so her choice should end there as well. Women who choose to have sex and end up pregnant are not victims either. She knows when she has sex with him that it can end in 9 months of pregnancy and then labor and deliver and still 18 years of raising a child. Dont act like women are innocent victims who had this thrust upon them. They know that they will be the ones who are carrying the child and will have to go through the extra problems. Like you said. Life isnt fair sometimes. They know that going in. 

Quoting one_on_the_way:

Men can make that decision.  Only, their decision is earlier in the process.  Their choice in the matter ends with their choice to have sex with the woman.  After that point, the choices are hers to make.  That may not be fair - but life isn't fair sometimes. And, I can't say this enough -- the MEN KNOW THIS is how it is when they CHOOSE to have sex with the woman.  They ARE NOT VICTIMS.

It sounds like you think the man should still have choice after he impregnates a woman.  She can tell him "I'm pregnant" and he can go to the courthouse and sign a legal document to sign away his rights and therefore have no financial responsibility to the child.  

Then, it is up to the woman if she can financially support the baby by herself.  If she can't, she can either have an abortion or give the baby up for adoption.

Either way, she is taking on physical and emotional risks that the man will never have to take by simply signing a piece of paper.

But, this seems fair to you?



MyCrazy4InTX
by on Oct. 7, 2012 at 3:03 PM
Neither do I, but since abortion will always be around in some form, a man should still get equal say on if he wants a child or not is how I feel.


Quoting moneysaver6:

I agree with you on principal.



Although morally I don't believe that a woman should have the legal right to kill her child.




Quoting MyCrazy4InTX:

Nope. If a woman can decide whether she wants to be a mom or not, a man should decide if he wants to be a dad or not.

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
LizzieAnnesMom
by ☆Mrs.Winchester☆ on Oct. 7, 2012 at 3:04 PM

And my point is that if, after the pregnancy occours, women have the right to choose whether or not to actually go through with it and be a parent, the man should be able to make the same decision. 

Quoting one_on_the_way:

I'm not thinking about the women here....I'm thinking about the CHILDREN.  

Men aren't victims.....women aren't victims.  Men know they can get a woman pregnant (and their choice ends).  Women know they can get pregnant......

However, women know that if they do get pregnant - they will have a choice on whether or not to continue the pregnancy.  And, they know that if they choose to continue the pregnancy, the law will require the man to financially support the child as much as the woman does.  Some women would much rather cut the man out of the picture and let him 'off the hook'.....however, that means she must earn enough money to financially support herself and the child by herself.  That isn't always an option.  Child care is expensive -- food and diapers and clothes are expensive.  

The other option for her is to go on public assistance.....but, the government is NOT GOING TO pay to help support a child when the father isn't even paying to support the child.  If the woman can't afford to financially provide for the child by herself....the law REQUIRES her to ask or support from the father before she can ask for any public assistance.


Quoting LizzieAnnesMom:

It works both ways. The woman knows that she has a chance of ending up pregnant if she decides to have sex so her choice should end there as well. Women who choose to have sex and end up pregnant are not victims either. She knows when she has sex with him that it can end in 9 months of pregnancy and then labor and deliver and still 18 years of raising a child. Dont act like women are innocent victims who had this thrust upon them. They know that they will be the ones who are carrying the child and will have to go through the extra problems. Like you said. Life isnt fair sometimes. They know that going in. 

Quoting one_on_the_way:

Men can make that decision.  Only, their decision is earlier in the process.  Their choice in the matter ends with their choice to have sex with the woman.  After that point, the choices are hers to make.  That may not be fair - but life isn't fair sometimes. And, I can't say this enough -- the MEN KNOW THIS is how it is when they CHOOSE to have sex with the woman.  They ARE NOT VICTIMS.

It sounds like you think the man should still have choice after he impregnates a woman.  She can tell him "I'm pregnant" and he can go to the courthouse and sign a legal document to sign away his rights and therefore have no financial responsibility to the child.  

Then, it is up to the woman if she can financially support the baby by herself.  If she can't, she can either have an abortion or give the baby up for adoption.

Either way, she is taking on physical and emotional risks that the man will never have to take by simply signing a piece of paper.

But, this seems fair to you?





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