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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

It was YOUR decision. So no CS!

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post
You find out you're pregnant. Talk it over with your SO and he explains that he doesn't want a baby right now. You don't care and decide to keep it. Do you feel that he should still be obligated to pay CS even though it was YOUR final decision to go through with it?
Posted by Anonymous on Oct. 7, 2012 at 1:14 PM
Replies (71-80):
one_on_the_way
by Silver Member on Oct. 7, 2012 at 1:34 PM
1 mom liked this

Because he doesn't.  And he knows this.

Not very hard to understand.

Not everything in life is equal and fair.  This is one of those things.  

Women know that if they get pregnant, they can have an abortion.  Men know that if they get a woman pregnant, it is up to her.  No secrets there.  

I don't even see the controversy.  As I said....it sucks to be a guy, and stuff.  You know, they can't go around and have sex with women and just give up responsibility if a pregnancy occurs.  Women can.  Men can't.  Poor guys, I know.

Quoting LuvMyBrennaBean:

Women also have that choice. Why the double standard? Women also have the choice to not have a baby, regardless of what the man might say, so why shouldn't a man have that same option?

Quoting one_on_the_way:

She can have an abortion if she doesn't want any kids, but gets pregnant.  

He can't.

Is this NOT KNOWN to men before they have sex?  Is this some sacred information they only find out about until after they knock a girl up?  

No - they know this.  Men have a choice.  They have a choice to have sex with a girl, or not.

Quoting militarywife09:

Well then so should she.


Quoting Beth3721:

Yes.  It takes two to make a baby.  He should just keep it in his pants if he doesn't want any kids.





girlcarrot
by on Oct. 7, 2012 at 1:35 PM

Absolutely not.


CheesyKitty
by on Oct. 7, 2012 at 1:35 PM
Nope, same with when a woman hides a pregnancy and expects help when she finally decides to tell the father.

However I think that he should have to sign away his rights during the pregnancy or right after. My "father" waited until I was 10 before signing away his rights because he was sick of paying support and hassle from my step father. I feel once you agree to parent you should be held to being a parent.
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Beth3721
by Silver Member on Oct. 7, 2012 at 1:35 PM

You are right.  I responded with "he" and "his" because this was a post asking about whether the man in the situation should pay.

Quoting militarywife09:

Well then so should she.


Quoting Beth3721:

Yes.  It takes two to make a baby.  He should just keep it in his pants if he doesn't want any kids.



2love
by Silver Member on Oct. 7, 2012 at 1:36 PM
Lmao! I love this lol perfect explanation.

Quoting ColleenF30:

Well since I will not abort, and any man I am with knows that up front. I feel he made his decision when he decided to insert tab A into slot B.

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Momof5kids84
by on Oct. 7, 2012 at 1:37 PM
1 mom liked this
This is true. I don't believe in sex before marriage, personally.

A woman isn't forced into parenthood at all. A woman doesn't have to pay for her mistake in this instance. I think that men should be given the same out. Everyone makes mistakes especially when they're young.


Quoting one_on_the_way:

Yep.  It is a double standard.  One that is quite clear.  Men know it exists.  They aren't clueless. 

He's allowed to make a mistake -- he just has to pay for it.  So does the woman.  

Of course all of this can be avoided if the two people having sex actually know each other and trust each other on their views of pregnancy, abortion and adoption.  It's called a conversation.  Most don't have it and then cry about it later when faced with their mistakes.


Quoting Momof5kids84:

So, let me get this straight. A man is never allowed to make a mistake, and women never lie about BC. This is such a double standard.



Quoting one_on_the_way:

Yes.  Men know that their choice on the matter ends with choosing to have sex with a woman.  If she gets pregnant, he has no choice about whether the woman continues the pregnancy or aborts it.  If she gets pregnant and decides to have the baby, he is financially obligated to support his baby.  No argument - at all.  Why?  Because men KNOW THIS when they decide to put their penis inside a woman's vagina.  It isn't some secret or something.  That is why men who do not want to have a baby right now should only have sex with women they know will have an abortion or give the baby up for adoption if she gets pregnant.  If he doesn't know what she'd do if she gets pregnant, he should ask her before having sex with her.  Far out concept, huh?

Oh yeah...and it sucks and is so unfair to be a guy, and stuff.


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KairisMama
by Emerald Member on Oct. 7, 2012 at 1:38 PM
Agreed.

Quoting MyCrazy4InTX:

Nope. If a woman can decide whether she wants to be a mom or not, a man should decide if he wants to be a dad or not.
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CheesyKitty
by on Oct. 7, 2012 at 1:38 PM
My mother and I have actually talked about this. If the father wants the child and has the means to do it alone, we both believe that the woman should take this into deep consideration before aborting.


Quoting Anonymous:

So, what if mom wants an abortion and he wants his baby?  It takes two and she should have thought about before she had sex without protection.

The double standard with you women blows me away.  


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cueballsmom
by Gold Member on Oct. 7, 2012 at 1:38 PM

 He made his choice when he slept with her. no sympathy.

IndigoOwl
by on Oct. 7, 2012 at 1:38 PM
2 moms liked this
Wow. You ladies continue to make posts that show your complete lack of understanding of what child support is. It's for the CHILD. By law, every child has the right to be financially supported by BOTH parents. And how unfortunate that it even has to be stated that way (as a law.) Stop talking about the rights of mom and dad and start talking about the rights of the CHILD.
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