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The couple who was going to adopt my baby said they are going to sue me, can they???

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

Hopefully, I will be able to talk to the adoption agency tomorrow but I was just wondering if anyone knows about this.

What happened was I decided when I found out that I was pregnant, that I was going to put my baby up for adoption. I am 18 and was concerned about my ability to care for the baby on my own. I went to the agency and I picked out a few couples, interviewed them and ended up choosing a couple. This was when I was 12 weeks along. I am now 30 weeks and have been thinking for the past few weeks that I really wanted to keep my baby by Thursday, I just knew I was going to.  I called them up and told them that I was sorry but I changed my mine. Yesterday, the woman called me and said that I have no moral right to this baby anymore because it was already her baby. She said that they are going to sue me for the cost of all the baby stuff they bought and they want me to repay them for everything they bought me (she took me shopping for maternity close, at her insistence, I was fine wearing stretch pants and maternity shirts my sister gave me.) I know that I can keep my baby, I am going back to school and I have a good job as a live in nanny (the couple is from my church, knew of my situation and offered me the job and said if I keep the baby I could have the baby with me while I am there as a live in nanny). I am just really worried because  she said they have spent thousands on baby stuff and there is no way I could pay them back if a judge ordered me too.

Posted by Anonymous on Oct. 7, 2012 at 2:13 PM
Replies (11-20):
by Ruby Member on Oct. 7, 2012 at 2:18 PM
2 moms liked this
Nope pretty sure they can't. I think even after you give the baby up you have a certain amount of time to change your mind in certain places.
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by on Oct. 7, 2012 at 2:18 PM
4 moms liked this

I'm not picking sides, you should talk to the agency...

But I will say my heart breaks for the couple. :(

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by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Oct. 7, 2012 at 2:19 PM

Quoting Anonymous:

I understand her anger. But, can't she just take the baby stuff back? And wouldn't the clothes be considered as gifts? Now, any medical costs that they've paid may come back to bite you.


Thanks, they didn't pay any medical, I have insurance (from my mom) and my ex gave me all the money for all the copays for the whole pregnancy so I used that. He did that because we agreed that I wouldn't go after him for anything for the baby (which I still won't, even though I am keeping her)

by on Oct. 7, 2012 at 2:20 PM
4 moms liked this

As far as monetary compensation, its likely they can sue you for what they've spent. Talk to the adoptoin agency. Talk to a lawyer. Yes you have the right to change your mind, and keep the baby. You have to understand that they already thought of the baby as THEIRS. You chose them, they paid for things for you, they probably have a nursery set up, and now they get no baby. I am not trying to be mean, just have you see their side of it. Find out what you have to do to fight the lawsuit if there is one. Congrats on your baby, and having the kindness of others to help you.

I refuse to conform, I refuse to take crap from others, I am a sassy, smart, honest, fabulous and sexy Texas Mama.

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by Platinum Member on Oct. 7, 2012 at 2:20 PM
Wow.. pretty sure they can't!
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by Anonymous 3 on Oct. 7, 2012 at 2:20 PM
2 moms liked this
The agency should have something about that in writing. Do you have papers yet? A birth mother always has a right to change her mind. I have never heard of anybody being sued after doing so. Hope it all turns out well.
by Murdoc's Mistress on Oct. 7, 2012 at 2:21 PM
23 moms liked this

Whatever you do, DO NOT TALK TO THE AGENCY.  They have a vested interest in you going through with the adoption and will most likely either guilt you into continuing or outright lie and claim you can be sued.

They cannot sue you over deciding to parent just because they bought a bunch of stuff.  This is the gamble they have to take and accept.

Don't worry about it.  They have no legal footing.

by on Oct. 7, 2012 at 2:22 PM
11 moms liked this

They knew this was a risk when they signed up for adoption. Sometimes, BMs change their minds. It's sad and sucks, but you move on. They can't sue you and thank god you didn't give them your baby, they sound like vicious petty assholes!

by on Oct. 7, 2012 at 2:22 PM
Talk to the adoption agency you used, I don't think they can because they would've been informed of the risk when going through the agency...

But I guess anything it's possible....

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by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Oct. 7, 2012 at 2:22 PM
3 moms liked this

Quoting Amybelle:

IDK but you have to understand their feels....They were excited about "their" new baby, Spent a lot of money....& you change your mind. I'm sure they are heartbroken & feel you scammed them.  JMO but You should return any of the Baby items they bought for the child. (if you weren't meaning to scam them you should have no problem doing that)

But the agency even told them, the baby is NOT theirs until 48 hours after I signed my rights away, until then I have every right to change my mind, they even said that close to half of moms do. I don't have any of the baby stuff, they kept it all (I mean why would I have it, I wasn't keeping the baby). They painted a nursery and set everything up. I did feel slightly bad for them until she tried to make me feel bad for exercising my right to keep my baby

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