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The couple who was going to adopt my baby said they are going to sue me, can they???

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

Hopefully, I will be able to talk to the adoption agency tomorrow but I was just wondering if anyone knows about this.

What happened was I decided when I found out that I was pregnant, that I was going to put my baby up for adoption. I am 18 and was concerned about my ability to care for the baby on my own. I went to the agency and I picked out a few couples, interviewed them and ended up choosing a couple. This was when I was 12 weeks along. I am now 30 weeks and have been thinking for the past few weeks that I really wanted to keep my baby by Thursday, I just knew I was going to.  I called them up and told them that I was sorry but I changed my mine. Yesterday, the woman called me and said that I have no moral right to this baby anymore because it was already her baby. She said that they are going to sue me for the cost of all the baby stuff they bought and they want me to repay them for everything they bought me (she took me shopping for maternity close, at her insistence, I was fine wearing stretch pants and maternity shirts my sister gave me.) I know that I can keep my baby, I am going back to school and I have a good job as a live in nanny (the couple is from my church, knew of my situation and offered me the job and said if I keep the baby I could have the baby with me while I am there as a live in nanny). I am just really worried because  she said they have spent thousands on baby stuff and there is no way I could pay them back if a judge ordered me too.

Posted by Anonymous on Oct. 7, 2012 at 2:13 PM
Replies (1001-1010):
AmaliaD
by Platinum Member on Oct. 8, 2012 at 1:34 PM
they can try but they cant win that. they were impulsive. their loss. live and learn.
salamandersmom
by on Oct. 8, 2012 at 1:35 PM

Look, this is a touchy subject.  Of course the other couple got emotionally invested in having the child.  Of course they are disappointed.   But, the birth mother should have rights, too. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 118 on Oct. 8, 2012 at 1:36 PM

There was just a case on judge mathis a few moments ago and he denied the claim...but he said if the potential adoptees had bought baby items and clothes and other things then they would have been allowed to recieve monitary relief. So yes you may have to return or repay all of the money back they spent on anything above the initial legal fees for attorney and medical (which is considered not refundable).

Anonymous
by Anonymous 110 on Oct. 8, 2012 at 1:39 PM
1 mom liked this
That doesn't make sense they could still get a baby some other way and use the stuff. It's not like they are giving it to the birth mom to use now

Quoting Anonymous:

There was just a case on judge mathis a few moments ago and he denied the claim...but he said if the potential adoptees had bought baby items and clothes and other things then they would have been allowed to recieve monitary relief. So yes you may have to return or repay all of the money back they spent on anything above the initial legal fees for attorney and medical (which is considered not refundable).

fadmc
by Member on Oct. 8, 2012 at 1:47 PM
Wow op kinda worried as to why you are so cold to these potential adoptive parents...it is your child that has been growing in your body for 30 wks but for them this child has been growing in their hearts for probably years....Your right to change your mind. I get that and agree. But you crushed these peoples hopes and dreams. They are entitled to grieve the loss of this child just as you would have. I pray you quickly develop the maturity to see this for what it is two people who lost something they really wanted. You can only control your action and reaction. Let them grieve. As far as being sued it is the anger, hurt, and disappointment. I don't believe they have a leg to stand on. Remember compassion and empathy are qualities every mom should have. Good Luck with the little one.


Quoting Anonymous:

I feel bad for them but I also feel like they counted their chickens before they hatched. I mean the baby wasn't theirs yet and they knew I could change my mind. I don't have any of the baby stuff, only the maternity clothes.


Quoting epoh:

Totally agreed.



Quoting Amybelle:

IDK but you have to understand their feels....They were excited about "their" new baby, Spent a lot of money....& you change your mind. I'm sure they are heartbroken & feel you scammed them.  JMO but You should return any of the Baby items they bought for the child. (if you weren't meaning to scam them you should have no problem doing that)



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Melissa_4
by Ruby Member on Oct. 8, 2012 at 1:51 PM


Quoting Anonymous:

He move across the country, if I go for child support, he said he will go for visitation and 50/50 custody. What kind of life would that be, going back and fourth all the time? And he already said he doesn't want her but if he has to financially support her he will take her just for spite, she doesn't need that.

Quoting Anonymous:

What? Why not? It's her right to be supported by both parents. 

Quoting Anonymous:


Quoting Anonymous:

I understand her anger. But, can't she just take the baby stuff back? And wouldn't the clothes be considered as gifts? Now, any medical costs that they've paid may come back to bite you.

GL.

Thanks, they didn't pay any medical, I have insurance (from my mom) and my ex gave me all the money for all the copays for the whole pregnancy so I used that. He did that because we agreed that I wouldn't go after him for anything for the baby (which I still won't, even though I am keeping her)



If that's the case, name him on the birth certificate, and have him sign away his parental rights after she's born.

EvilQueenMommy
by Gold Member on Oct. 8, 2012 at 1:54 PM
1 mom liked this

She said the adoptive mother keeps calling and insulting her/harassing her. I don't blame her for becoming cold towards them.

Quoting fadmc:

Wow op kinda worried as to why you are so cold to these potential adoptive parents...it is your child that has been growing in your body for 30 wks but for them this child has been growing in their hearts for probably years....Your right to change your mind. I get that and agree. But you crushed these peoples hopes and dreams. They are entitled to grieve the loss of this child just as you would have. I pray you quickly develop the maturity to see this for what it is two people who lost something they really wanted. You can only control your action and reaction. Let them grieve. As far as being sued it is the anger, hurt, and disappointment. I don't believe they have a leg to stand on. Remember compassion and empathy are qualities every mom should have. Good Luck with the little one.


Quoting Anonymous:

I feel bad for them but I also feel like they counted their chickens before they hatched. I mean the baby wasn't theirs yet and they knew I could change my mind. I don't have any of the baby stuff, only the maternity clothes.


Quoting epoh:

Totally agreed.



Quoting Amybelle:

IDK but you have to understand their feels....They were excited about "their" new baby, Spent a lot of money....& you change your mind. I'm sure they are heartbroken & feel you scammed them.  JMO but You should return any of the Baby items they bought for the child. (if you weren't meaning to scam them you should have no problem doing that)




CafeMom Tickers

 "I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it."- Evelyn Beatrice Hall


Melissa_4
by Ruby Member on Oct. 8, 2012 at 1:57 PM


Quoting Anonymous:

There was just a case on judge mathis a few moments ago and he denied the claim...but he said if the potential adoptees had bought baby items and clothes and other things then they would have been allowed to recieve monitary relief. So yes you may have to return or repay all of the money back they spent on anything above the initial legal fees for attorney and medical (which is considered not refundable).

This actually depends on the laws of the state where the person lives.  TV judgements are not always realistic, and what applies in one state does not in others.  What if (God forbid!) she lost the baby?   She'd still be expected to pay?  I don't think so.  She's still 10 weeks away from delivery.  She has the right to keep her child.  The couple was hasty in purchasing expensive nursery items before the arrival of the baby and paperwork being signed.  Many states allow a birthmother to have 30 days postpartum to change their minds. The first few weeks all you need are some clothes, diapers, a carseat and a bassinette.  All of those items can be purchased for well under $500.  The PAPs can save those things for when they finally get a baby to adopt.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 119 on Oct. 8, 2012 at 1:59 PM
1 mom liked this

OP, if they keep calling and harrassing you, seek out a restraining order.  You've already decided to keep the baby.  You need to contact the laywer or agency (whichever you were placing the child through) and let them know the situation as soon as possible.   Keep a record of any threats or calls you get from the PAPs.  

LoriLou75
by Ruby Member on Oct. 8, 2012 at 2:01 PM
I wouldn't worry too much about it. They will have to prove everything they spent with receipts and also have to prove it was purchased with the expectation that they would get the baby and not as gifts. That will be hard to prove, especially since buying babies is illegal. In the rare possibility they do win, and you have to pay the money back, you can do it slowly, like $20 a month or whatever you can afford.
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