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The couple who was going to adopt my baby said they are going to sue me, can they???

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

Hopefully, I will be able to talk to the adoption agency tomorrow but I was just wondering if anyone knows about this.

What happened was I decided when I found out that I was pregnant, that I was going to put my baby up for adoption. I am 18 and was concerned about my ability to care for the baby on my own. I went to the agency and I picked out a few couples, interviewed them and ended up choosing a couple. This was when I was 12 weeks along. I am now 30 weeks and have been thinking for the past few weeks that I really wanted to keep my baby by Thursday, I just knew I was going to.  I called them up and told them that I was sorry but I changed my mine. Yesterday, the woman called me and said that I have no moral right to this baby anymore because it was already her baby. She said that they are going to sue me for the cost of all the baby stuff they bought and they want me to repay them for everything they bought me (she took me shopping for maternity close, at her insistence, I was fine wearing stretch pants and maternity shirts my sister gave me.) I know that I can keep my baby, I am going back to school and I have a good job as a live in nanny (the couple is from my church, knew of my situation and offered me the job and said if I keep the baby I could have the baby with me while I am there as a live in nanny). I am just really worried because  she said they have spent thousands on baby stuff and there is no way I could pay them back if a judge ordered me too.

Posted by Anonymous on Oct. 7, 2012 at 2:13 PM
Replies (1031-1040):
jeannie39
by on Oct. 8, 2012 at 9:41 PM
2 moms liked this


Quoting Anonymous:

 

Quoting jeannie39:

 

Quoting Anonymous:

 

Quoting jeannie39:

 Whether OP has a contract not really does not matter. People lose their jobs all the time and one way or another, they take care of their kids. I don't see why the OP would be any different. If the posters making a big deal out of this lose their jobs, will it be ok for their kids to be taken away or put up for adoption?

 

But most people do NOT become homeless as soon as their job ends.  She would be out inthe street the day the job ended.  WITH her baby. And her total job experience would be as a nanny. Sure she might get another nanny job-maybe even one that would allow her to bring her child-and offer enough spare time to attend college-AND still pay over $36K.  But the reality is that the kinds of nanny jobs that pay that _AND allow you to live in WITH your infant-are pretty damned rare. IF I had hired a nanny who had their own child and was living in and thus had no expenses, I sure as hell wouldn't be paying them $750 a week!  Because while that is the going rate in some areas-or a lot more-for that price they want a college degree-and experience-and no baby along for the ride.

I, in no way said this was the perfect situation, but this girl is going to keep her baby. She already said that. She also said that she has a job with a family from her church. That family and the church must be standing by her. That means alot to alot of people. If she puts her faith in God, she will succeed. She has alot more going for her than alot of people in her place. I am pretty sure that she has thought about what it will take to raise her child. She knows who the father is, has family and a church family.  If she had wanted to keep her baby from the beginning, should someone be allowed to take it from her because she only 18? Alot of young parents find a way to go to college, if that's what they choose to do. This girl can, too. And just for the record, everyone does not have a college ed. Some that do end up with jobs that have nothing to do with their degree.

 The whole point to my original post was to say that enough determination, will power, hard work and faith they can do what need to be done to take care of their children. The OP deserves, no not deserves, has the right to raise her child.

For the last 18 weeks the OP had every intention of adopting out her baby.  Oh and I know everyone thinks that it will all work out-but there are Moms JUST like her living in cars with their babies-because determination and will power aren't worth a damn if you can't find a job AND daycare.  Her job is only as good as her employers jobs-if they lose a job-so does she.

 You are so right, everyone's job depends on their employer. Including yours and mine.  Using your logic, nobody should have children. Life is unsure and we don't know what the future holds. Also using the same logic, if a young married couple are having a baby, the dad works, mom stays home, dad gets killed in accident, no insurance. Young dad hasn't worked long enough to pay much social security in for survivor benefits. Mom has no income, little ed. and a very unsure future. Mom as to put baby up for adoption. Right? I think not, get real. Life is hard. If a person has something worth fighting for, ( a child ), they will do the impossible and take care of it.

 Also some poster said the PAP can give this child a better life because they have more money. I have a 22 month old daughter and I take very good care of the both of us, but I will be the 1st to say that there are alot of people in this world that came give her a better material life. I will also be the 1st to say that there is not one other person on this earth that can give her the mothers love that I have for her. 

  22 yrs. ago my 1st husband and I had a still born son and my current husband  and I tried for 7 yrs. to have our daughter, so please, do not think that I don't feel for the PAPs. I do. I think about what they must be going through and it brings back alot of the pain and heartache that I have had in my own life. So trust me, I understand. Saying that, It does not change the fact that the OP has the right to raise her baby.  I was a young mother,in a not so good marriage and let me tell you, my children have always had everything they needed and alot of what they wanted. I have a 24 yr.old daughter, ( married and struggling with infertility ), a 21 yrs. son, ( in good relationship  and has a 7mo. old daughter), a 20 yr.old nephew, I raised, ( without financial support) and my 22 month old. My three adult children all work 5-6 days a week, do not drink, do not do drugs and  have never been in any trouble withthe law or otherwise and all high school grads. All great people and productive citizens. I had my 1st child 1 month after my 16th birthday so please, you are wasting both of our time by telling me that this girl can not give her child a good life, if she has the determination and the will to do it.

jeannie39
by on Oct. 8, 2012 at 10:40 PM
1 mom liked this


Quoting Anonymous:

It almost seems like one of the people replying to this post may have been the one to create it. That is what I would suspect if I were more cynical anyway. Lots of coincidences....

 NEWS FLASH!!

    One of the people replying to this post IS the one that created it!!

 Everytime she post a reply, it shows ORIGINAL POSTER. A whole lot of coincidences on this page!

jeannie39
by on Oct. 8, 2012 at 11:27 PM
1 mom liked this

 I just want to post one more thing. I read through the 1st 63 pages of post on this thread,then skipped to the end. I just have to say, after reading these post that I am not surprised that this country is going to hell. I am shocked at some of the comments on here. Where is the compassion, love and good old fashion Christian charity at? I have never seen grown women say such nasty, hateful things in my whole life.

 There were some really great comments on here,too. Please don't get me wrong, but it seems like the majority were plain awful. I respect that everyone has and is entitled to their own opinion but this is ridiculous. This girl just wants to parent her child. She is not perfect but who out there is? I know I'm not, but I am a loving successful mother and this girl came be, too. She need emotionalsupport right now, not nastiness. Please ladies, give this girl a brake. 

monkeymom1104
by Silver Member on Oct. 8, 2012 at 11:33 PM
No honey it is a tactic they are using to intimidate you. I wish you luck. They are just heart broken its hard on them too. :(
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
harehelper
by on Oct. 9, 2012 at 9:59 AM

I doubt it. Honestly, I really doubt they actually will sue. I think the woman was venting her feelings. The point I have been trying to make all along is, instead of talking about how simply awful these people are for being incredibly upset and spouting off about it, why don't we try  a little empathy?

Quoting EvilQueenMommy:

You really think suing this woman will make the couple feel better?

Quoting harehelper:

I'm sure that will make them feel much better.

Quoting EvilQueenMommy:


You can't buy a baby, so she owes them nothing
Quoting harehelper:

Yeah, she did scam them. She promised them a baby, they got their hearts set for something they had been dreaming of for heaven only knows how long, and then she ripped their hearts out. If they had been buying a car from her and they paid for it and did not get it, she would owe them the money back. A baby is far more important and emotionaly invested than a car.

Sorry OP, but if you have to pay them back $10 at a time for the next ten years, you owe them that money back, since you can't or won't give them what they really wanted.

Quoting Amybelle:

IDK but you have to understand their feels....They were excited about "their" new baby, Spent a lot of money....& you change your mind. I'm sure they are heartbroken & feel you scammed them.  JMO but You should return any of the Baby items they bought for the child. (if you weren't meaning to scam them you should have no problem doing that)






EvilQueenMommy
by Gold Member on Oct. 9, 2012 at 10:00 AM

I felt bad for the adopting parents until op said the mother kept calling her and yelling at her. That is harassment. 

Quoting harehelper:

I doubt it. Honestly, I really doubt they actually will sue. I think the woman was venting her feelings. The point I have been trying to make all along is, instead of talking about how simply awful these people are for being incredibly upset and spouting off about it, why don't we try  a little empathy?

Quoting EvilQueenMommy:

You really think suing this woman will make the couple feel better?

Quoting harehelper:

I'm sure that will make them feel much better.

Quoting EvilQueenMommy:


You can't buy a baby, so she owes them nothing
Quoting harehelper:

Yeah, she did scam them. She promised them a baby, they got their hearts set for something they had been dreaming of for heaven only knows how long, and then she ripped their hearts out. If they had been buying a car from her and they paid for it and did not get it, she would owe them the money back. A baby is far more important and emotionaly invested than a car.

Sorry OP, but if you have to pay them back $10 at a time for the next ten years, you owe them that money back, since you can't or won't give them what they really wanted.

Quoting Amybelle:

IDK but you have to understand their feels....They were excited about "their" new baby, Spent a lot of money....& you change your mind. I'm sure they are heartbroken & feel you scammed them.  JMO but You should return any of the Baby items they bought for the child. (if you weren't meaning to scam them you should have no problem doing that)







CafeMom Tickers

 "I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it."- Evelyn Beatrice Hall


lnrmom
by Ruby Member on Oct. 9, 2012 at 10:00 AM
1 mom liked this

She's upset. She can't sue you.

hp2011
by Ruby Member on Oct. 9, 2012 at 10:01 AM

The respectful thing to do IMO for now would be to offer to return the stuff they bought.

harehelper
by on Oct. 9, 2012 at 10:10 AM

"Kept" calling? I only read about one rude call.

Quoting EvilQueenMommy:

I felt bad for the adopting parents until op said the mother kept calling her and yelling at her. That is harassment. 

Quoting harehelper:

I doubt it. Honestly, I really doubt they actually will sue. I think the woman was venting her feelings. The point I have been trying to make all along is, instead of talking about how simply awful these people are for being incredibly upset and spouting off about it, why don't we try  a little empathy?

Quoting EvilQueenMommy:

You really think suing this woman will make the couple feel better?

Quoting harehelper:

I'm sure that will make them feel much better.

Quoting EvilQueenMommy:


You can't buy a baby, so she owes them nothing
Quoting harehelper:

Yeah, she did scam them. She promised them a baby, they got their hearts set for something they had been dreaming of for heaven only knows how long, and then she ripped their hearts out. If they had been buying a car from her and they paid for it and did not get it, she would owe them the money back. A baby is far more important and emotionaly invested than a car.

Sorry OP, but if you have to pay them back $10 at a time for the next ten years, you owe them that money back, since you can't or won't give them what they really wanted.

Quoting Amybelle:

IDK but you have to understand their feels....They were excited about "their" new baby, Spent a lot of money....& you change your mind. I'm sure they are heartbroken & feel you scammed them.  JMO but You should return any of the Baby items they bought for the child. (if you weren't meaning to scam them you should have no problem doing that)








So_Devious20
by Misha Lovegood<3 on Oct. 9, 2012 at 10:11 AM
1 mom liked this
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