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The couple who was going to adopt my baby said they are going to sue me, can they???

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

Hopefully, I will be able to talk to the adoption agency tomorrow but I was just wondering if anyone knows about this.

What happened was I decided when I found out that I was pregnant, that I was going to put my baby up for adoption. I am 18 and was concerned about my ability to care for the baby on my own. I went to the agency and I picked out a few couples, interviewed them and ended up choosing a couple. This was when I was 12 weeks along. I am now 30 weeks and have been thinking for the past few weeks that I really wanted to keep my baby by Thursday, I just knew I was going to.  I called them up and told them that I was sorry but I changed my mine. Yesterday, the woman called me and said that I have no moral right to this baby anymore because it was already her baby. She said that they are going to sue me for the cost of all the baby stuff they bought and they want me to repay them for everything they bought me (she took me shopping for maternity close, at her insistence, I was fine wearing stretch pants and maternity shirts my sister gave me.) I know that I can keep my baby, I am going back to school and I have a good job as a live in nanny (the couple is from my church, knew of my situation and offered me the job and said if I keep the baby I could have the baby with me while I am there as a live in nanny). I am just really worried because  she said they have spent thousands on baby stuff and there is no way I could pay them back if a judge ordered me too.

Posted by Anonymous on Oct. 7, 2012 at 2:13 PM
Replies (1041-1050):
EvilQueenMommy
by Gold Member on Oct. 9, 2012 at 1:27 PM

I'll see if I can find it, she later said the mother kept calling even when she asked her not to.

eta I bumped the quote where op says the woman kept calling.

Quoting harehelper:

"Kept" calling? I only read about one rude call.

Quoting EvilQueenMommy:

I felt bad for the adopting parents until op said the mother kept calling her and yelling at her. That is harassment. 

Quoting harehelper:

I doubt it. Honestly, I really doubt they actually will sue. I think the woman was venting her feelings. The point I have been trying to make all along is, instead of talking about how simply awful these people are for being incredibly upset and spouting off about it, why don't we try  a little empathy?


EvilQueenMommy
by Gold Member on Oct. 9, 2012 at 1:34 PM

Just bumping this, because some people missed it. 

Quoting Anonymous:

She yelled an screamed that I was stealing her baby and that I am a whore and that HER baby needs a real mother just things like that, she was really nasty and kept calling for hours, I stopped answering but she kept calling leaving messages that were really rude

Quoting Byrd15:

What did she do?! O.o

Quoting Anonymous:

Honestly, with the way they are acting, I am not so sure they should get to adopt. I am thinking about mentioning this to the agency in an e-mail. They said that if potential parents behave inappropriately they can be blacklisted from the agency. Yes, the agency is out to make money but they have WAY more potential parents then they will ever have pregnant women


CafeMom Tickers

 "I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it."- Evelyn Beatrice Hall


mattiehatter
by Mary on Oct. 9, 2012 at 1:35 PM
Return anything they have given you. If they are paying your medical bills then you might be sued to pay for the bills. They should have prepared themselves a little more mentally just in case you changed your mind. Your decision was made so early in your pregnancy it doesn't shock me in your final trimester you are changing your mind.
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bekkage
by Member on Oct. 9, 2012 at 1:37 PM
1 mom liked this

I think the only way they could sue you and win is if they could prove that you never intended to let the baby be adopted.  That would be theft by deception and they would probably have to press charged before suing you in court.  That would also be a tough thing to prove and doesn't sound like it was the case here.  What it sounds like happened here is as you are nearing your due date, all of your reasons about why you couldn't take care of the baby don't seem nearly as unsurmountable and you are believing in yourself that you CAN take care of your baby.

Carolh323
by on Oct. 9, 2012 at 1:59 PM
1 mom liked this
I agree with what the others have said. If you have not yet gone back to the agency to let them know of your decision, do not delay in doing this. You can also give back anything they have given you (clothing, etc.)

I also think you need your own lawyer in this situation, a family lawyer. Why? Because you baby deserves to be supported by his or her farher. You may have committed to not go after your ex- for anything for yourself, but your child deserves to both know his or her father and to have financial support from him, for all sorts of things, health insurance, clothing food, books toys, medicine, pre- school and on and on. Ultimately your child may want to go to college and shouldn't he or she have his or her father's help with that? You and he also need to have an agreed upon legal agreement for not only financial support for the baby, but also legal custody and visitation. These things can get very sticky if they are not taken care of properly at the time when relations are at least a little bit cordial. Also, sometimes a father's parents also want visitation rights, so make sure you have that taken care of in your legal documents. You will also want to name a legal guardian for your child if you become disabled and unable to take care of your child, or even worse, if something happens to you that is fatal. Please remember that for example, a drunk driver were to cause your death, there would no doubt be a major lawsuit on behalf of your child, and in that case, someone you don't even know could come out of the woodwork and claim that the were your beloved aunt or uncle and thatvthey know that you wanted them to raise your child, JUST SO THEY COULD GET THEIR HANDS ON YOUR CHILD'S MONEY. Such lawsuits sometimes result in court awards of millions of dollars and you will want to make certain that your guardianship preference would cover such a situation. Also, if there is anyone that you would never want to have anything to do with your child if there are any such people.

I hope this helps.
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DocP
by on Oct. 10, 2012 at 1:01 AM

 They cannot sue you.  This is your baby.   I'm glad you were able to figure out how to parent your baby.  Good luck!

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Oct. 10, 2012 at 1:05 AM
1 mom liked this

 

Quoting EvilQueenMommy:

Just bumping this, because some people missed it. 

Quoting Anonymous:

She yelled an screamed that I was stealing her baby and that I am a whore and that HER baby needs a real mother just things like that, she was really nasty and kept calling for hours, I stopped answering but she kept calling leaving messages that were really rude

Quoting Byrd15:

What did she do?! O.o

Quoting Anonymous:

Honestly, with the way they are acting, I am not so sure they should get to adopt. I am thinking about mentioning this to the agency in an e-mail. They said that if potential parents behave inappropriately they can be blacklisted from the agency. Yes, the agency is out to make money but they have WAY more potential parents then they will ever have pregnant women


Keep those messages and log everything just in case. 

LovelyJay512
by on Oct. 10, 2012 at 1:09 AM
1 mom liked this
What an idiot, "my baby," no YOUR baby. You did not sign any legal documentations yet. They cannot sue you for gifts, they're trying to scare you into giving them your baby. If they have paid for any medical bills then they can sue you, some judges will make you pay and some will see it as a "gift" as well.
Good luck to you!
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BlessedMommyNE
by Bronze Member on Oct. 10, 2012 at 12:48 PM

I feel awful for these adoptive parents.  How heartwrenching that must have been for them to have been told from so early on that this was their baby and then to be told that they wouldn't be bringing home their baby.  They are essentially loosing what had been their baby.   

If they paid for your medical expenses at all then yes I do believe they should be able to take you to court for that.

Zindagi511
by on Oct. 10, 2012 at 12:51 PM

you should definitely talk to the agency.  I would think that they can't sue you though because you didn't make them buy it.  When you chose them, did you sign a contract of any kind?

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