Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

My 17yo is pretending she's a mom! *update* *update2*

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post
I'm so confused and don't know what to do. My 17yo DD has always loved babies, always wanted baby dolls for Christmas when she was little, used to help me out with her siblings by choosing outfits or 'helping' me change diapers etc. She also always talked about how much she wants kids of her own, but I guess I didn't realise how much... I borrowed her laptop today. I asked if I could use it, she said yes because she was going to a friends house. Ok, great. I did what I needed to do on there and as I opened up google a chat message popped up in the corner from a name I didn't recognise (and we live in a tiny village, I know everybody) but I didn't click on it until I saw "Answer me! Or is your son...." This confused me, so I opened up the message. From this, I found a link to an account on a mom & baby website, where my DD has set up an account and basically created a whole fake life... It's not her real name but it is her real photo and she's been posting pictures of her baby cousin claiming that he's her son... I don't know what to do or say to her. I know at her age I felt the same way about wanting a child so much, it was all I thought about really. I just have no idea how to handle this. Any advice? Thank you so much.

Thank you all for your advice. I just phoned my DD and asked her to come home. She sounded worried; I haven't told her everything yet, I just told her I wanted to talk to her about something. She'll be back in 15 minutes.

DD and I have spoken. When she got back, she was really nervous. I told her I wanted to talk about something I found on her laptop and showed her the webpage and explained how I ended up on the page. She immediately started crying. I told her that I wasn't angry, I just didn't understand. She told me that ever since she was six she's felt like she should be a mom... And that's all she's ever wanted from life. She wants to go to college too but she wants a child so badly... She assured me she's not actively trying to get pregnant with her BF, that he doesn't want kids yet and doesn't know how much she wants them, but that she's got the implant (she even made me feel, and I know she's not lying). We chatted about how difficult it is to look after a child, she said she didn't really know, and there were a lot of things she hasn't considered... I asked her if she wanted to look after her new baby cousin for the weekend with little help so that's what she's doing next week. However, I did tell her I'm disappointed that she put pictures of him online without permission from her aunt or from me. She agreed to remove the account, and said that she's sorry. I'm not angry with her, I just want the best for her and I don't know whether I should bring up counselling for her... She told me that she often pretends to herself that she's pregnant. I don't know what could cause her to act this way... I've always been there for her, we're really close, her dad's always been around and we've been happily married for over 20 years.... Thank you all for your support and advice.
Posted by Anonymous on Oct. 7, 2012 at 3:56 PM
Replies (101-110):
graciesnycmama
by Platinum Member on Oct. 8, 2012 at 1:20 AM
Bump for update.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
momoftwo0406
by Ruby Member on Oct. 8, 2012 at 1:22 AM
sounds like she needs a baby for a whole weekend with lil help. ughhh glad my dd is only 8.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous 22 on Oct. 8, 2012 at 1:23 AM
1 mom liked this

 

Quoting Anonymous:

haven't seen op answer for a bit... perhaps she is talking to daughter now.  I too have a 17 yr old daughter and would find this VERY disturbing too.


17 = junior or senior.  What are her plans for after high school.  If she isnt striving for college then I WOULD be worried that this is a fantasy of hers that she may try to make reality.

If she is striving towards college and just "roll playing" as someone mentioned I would be very concerned for a whole different reason.  Why does she feel the need to lie... lie to strangers.  What does she not have in her real life that she is searching for on line?  I do not see this as a healthy normal thing for teens to do.

I get not wanting a child to have a kid in highschool or be online lying to people, but what is so bad choosing to be a mom after highchool? Are people that don't go to college scum to you? Some women choose to be a mother as their choice of career, if you will.

BTW, this is coming from someone that did go to some college before moving out of the country back in the day. However, I knew as a young child that my main goal in life was to be a mother and a wife. I don't feel any less than anyone else and I actually have a fairly high IQ so I'm not stupid or worthless.

I find it so odd that women on CM act like if their kids aren't striving for college, they are out of their minds. College isn't a guarantee of anything. Ask all the people you can find working at McD's, Walmart, etc that have degrees. Did them a lot of good, didn't it? Nothing is guaranteed just by getting a degree. Sheesh, welcome to Cafemom, home of my kid can be gay, lesbian, smart, stupid, be a stripper, be a cop, be anything EXCEPT someone that didn't go to college! Oh the horror!!!

wkukid
by Beach Bum on Oct. 8, 2012 at 1:27 AM
I'm sure there are lots of little girls on here pretending too.
kissmiss213
by Platinum Member on Oct. 8, 2012 at 1:28 AM

update after you talk to her!!!! 

abbie.alder
by on Oct. 8, 2012 at 1:44 AM


Quoting Anonymous:

Sounds like she has a real maternal instinct and just craves being a mother.... But yea, the account is definitely wired. Good luck on the talk!!


Anonymous
by Anonymous 23 on Oct. 8, 2012 at 1:45 AM

uh whats the big deal? She's PRETENDING just like fantasy and larping.

Shy_Dia
by Ruby Member on Oct. 8, 2012 at 1:47 AM

omg!

i was in a class like that... parenting 101 or something like that... i LOVED being in it! i SO wanted the fake baby... but sadly, the teacher REFUSED to give it to me... her reasoning was, "I'm sure you and your mom will have enough of babies to deal with, with her newborn and yours thats coming this week"... i was so sad. =( my mom had her 2 month old baby girl... and that Saturday (she was passing the babies out on Friday), I had DS.... lol i KNOW she was in the right... but darn it- i just wanted to experience a fake baby for once1 lol 

but then again, it was awesome being in the class and telling the other students what it was like being pregnant... and how it is being a mom, and i even got to bring DS in once during the school year to "show him off".. loved it! lol

Quoting TurtleSquish:

Quoting Yourmansgirl:

Does her school have a child development class? They have lifelike dolls the students take home for a weekend that wake them up for feedings and diaper changes electronically to teach them what having a baby is really like. My daughter just had to do this . Was a good lesson for her.

I had that class in hs...I loved those dolls! I had one during summer break (year round school) never got tired of it


TurtleSquish
by on Oct. 8, 2012 at 1:47 AM
1 mom liked this

I was a lot like her when i was a teen. All i ever wanted was to be a mom. She sounds smart to me. You did the right thing by not embarrassing her, or yelling. *hug*

TurtleSquish
by on Oct. 8, 2012 at 1:48 AM

go to homeschool babies! they rent them!

Quoting Shy_Dia:

omg!

i was in a class like that... parenting 101 or something like that... i LOVED being in it! i SO wanted the fake baby... but sadly, the teacher REFUSED to give it to me... her reasoning was, "I'm sure you and your mom will have enough of babies to deal with, with her newborn and yours thats coming this week"... i was so sad. =( my mom had her 2 month old baby girl... and that Saturday (she was passing the babies out on Friday), I had DS.... lol i KNOW she was in the right... but darn it- i just wanted to experience a fake baby for once1 lol 

but then again, it was awesome being in the class and telling the other students what it was like being pregnant... and how it is being a mom, and i even got to bring DS in once during the school year to "show him off".. loved it! lol

Quoting TurtleSquish:

Quoting Yourmansgirl:

Does her school have a child development class? They have lifelike dolls the students take home for a weekend that wake them up for feedings and diaper changes electronically to teach them what having a baby is really like. My daughter just had to do this . Was a good lesson for her.

I had that class in hs...I loved those dolls! I had one during summer break (year round school) never got tired of it



Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)