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My 17yo is pretending she's a mom! *update* *update2*

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post
I'm so confused and don't know what to do. My 17yo DD has always loved babies, always wanted baby dolls for Christmas when she was little, used to help me out with her siblings by choosing outfits or 'helping' me change diapers etc. She also always talked about how much she wants kids of her own, but I guess I didn't realise how much... I borrowed her laptop today. I asked if I could use it, she said yes because she was going to a friends house. Ok, great. I did what I needed to do on there and as I opened up google a chat message popped up in the corner from a name I didn't recognise (and we live in a tiny village, I know everybody) but I didn't click on it until I saw "Answer me! Or is your son...." This confused me, so I opened up the message. From this, I found a link to an account on a mom & baby website, where my DD has set up an account and basically created a whole fake life... It's not her real name but it is her real photo and she's been posting pictures of her baby cousin claiming that he's her son... I don't know what to do or say to her. I know at her age I felt the same way about wanting a child so much, it was all I thought about really. I just have no idea how to handle this. Any advice? Thank you so much.

Thank you all for your advice. I just phoned my DD and asked her to come home. She sounded worried; I haven't told her everything yet, I just told her I wanted to talk to her about something. She'll be back in 15 minutes.

DD and I have spoken. When she got back, she was really nervous. I told her I wanted to talk about something I found on her laptop and showed her the webpage and explained how I ended up on the page. She immediately started crying. I told her that I wasn't angry, I just didn't understand. She told me that ever since she was six she's felt like she should be a mom... And that's all she's ever wanted from life. She wants to go to college too but she wants a child so badly... She assured me she's not actively trying to get pregnant with her BF, that he doesn't want kids yet and doesn't know how much she wants them, but that she's got the implant (she even made me feel, and I know she's not lying). We chatted about how difficult it is to look after a child, she said she didn't really know, and there were a lot of things she hasn't considered... I asked her if she wanted to look after her new baby cousin for the weekend with little help so that's what she's doing next week. However, I did tell her I'm disappointed that she put pictures of him online without permission from her aunt or from me. She agreed to remove the account, and said that she's sorry. I'm not angry with her, I just want the best for her and I don't know whether I should bring up counselling for her... She told me that she often pretends to herself that she's pregnant. I don't know what could cause her to act this way... I've always been there for her, we're really close, her dad's always been around and we've been happily married for over 20 years.... Thank you all for your support and advice.
Posted by Anonymous on Oct. 7, 2012 at 3:56 PM
Replies (11-20):
Traceyssel
by on Oct. 7, 2012 at 4:04 PM
Lauren was a person on cm pretending to be pregnant. Thought there was a connection

Quoting Anonymous:

No. Why?




Quoting Traceyssel:

Is her name Lauren?

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Oct. 7, 2012 at 4:04 PM
1 mom liked this
Wow. I would just talk to her, let her know you know, that you're not angry but you need to understand why she's doing this and that pretending to be something you're not isn't right and that she needs to delete the account - her time as a mom will come.
CheesyKitty
by Cm Addict on Oct. 7, 2012 at 4:06 PM
All I can say is talk to her. Hopefully she isn't hurting anyone. Some people just like being able to slip into a fantasy.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
GinasMommy412
by on Oct. 7, 2012 at 4:07 PM
Sit down and have a long talk with her about how you feel.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Oct. 7, 2012 at 4:07 PM
Quoting Anonymous:

Wow. I would just talk to her, let her know you know, that you're not angry but you need to understand why she's doing this and that pretending to be something you're not isn't right and that she needs to delete the account - her time as a mom will come.



I agree with this. She is probably just messing around but just talk to her. Good luck (:
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Oct. 7, 2012 at 4:09 PM
Thank you. I'm not angry at her, I just don't understand... She definitely needs to delete the account and take down the pictures. I don't know if I should punish her or not? Being a mom isn't as easy as she obviously thinks it is.


Quoting Anonymous:

Wow. I would just talk to her, let her know you know, that you're not angry but you need to understand why she's doing this and that pretending to be something you're not isn't right and that she needs to delete the account - her time as a mom will come.

Lunarprancer
by Betsy on Oct. 7, 2012 at 4:09 PM
Quoting Anonymous:

Better a fake mom profile than a real one. :)

Good point!

With light and love

LovelyMommy24
by on Oct. 7, 2012 at 4:09 PM

I was going to say this same thing, I say let her have it for now. If it helps her get through high school / college without a baby, what's it going to hurt?

Quoting Anonymous:

Better a fake mom profile than a real one. :)


Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Oct. 7, 2012 at 4:09 PM
Oh, I didn't hear about that.


Quoting Traceyssel:

Lauren was a person on cm pretending to be pregnant. Thought there was a connection



Quoting Anonymous:

No. Why?






Quoting Traceyssel:

Is her name Lauren?


LovelyDayz
by on Oct. 7, 2012 at 4:10 PM

Wow that's new. I guess I would just talk to her about it

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