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My 17yo is pretending she's a mom! *update* *update2*

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post
I'm so confused and don't know what to do. My 17yo DD has always loved babies, always wanted baby dolls for Christmas when she was little, used to help me out with her siblings by choosing outfits or 'helping' me change diapers etc. She also always talked about how much she wants kids of her own, but I guess I didn't realise how much... I borrowed her laptop today. I asked if I could use it, she said yes because she was going to a friends house. Ok, great. I did what I needed to do on there and as I opened up google a chat message popped up in the corner from a name I didn't recognise (and we live in a tiny village, I know everybody) but I didn't click on it until I saw "Answer me! Or is your son...." This confused me, so I opened up the message. From this, I found a link to an account on a mom & baby website, where my DD has set up an account and basically created a whole fake life... It's not her real name but it is her real photo and she's been posting pictures of her baby cousin claiming that he's her son... I don't know what to do or say to her. I know at her age I felt the same way about wanting a child so much, it was all I thought about really. I just have no idea how to handle this. Any advice? Thank you so much.

Thank you all for your advice. I just phoned my DD and asked her to come home. She sounded worried; I haven't told her everything yet, I just told her I wanted to talk to her about something. She'll be back in 15 minutes.

DD and I have spoken. When she got back, she was really nervous. I told her I wanted to talk about something I found on her laptop and showed her the webpage and explained how I ended up on the page. She immediately started crying. I told her that I wasn't angry, I just didn't understand. She told me that ever since she was six she's felt like she should be a mom... And that's all she's ever wanted from life. She wants to go to college too but she wants a child so badly... She assured me she's not actively trying to get pregnant with her BF, that he doesn't want kids yet and doesn't know how much she wants them, but that she's got the implant (she even made me feel, and I know she's not lying). We chatted about how difficult it is to look after a child, she said she didn't really know, and there were a lot of things she hasn't considered... I asked her if she wanted to look after her new baby cousin for the weekend with little help so that's what she's doing next week. However, I did tell her I'm disappointed that she put pictures of him online without permission from her aunt or from me. She agreed to remove the account, and said that she's sorry. I'm not angry with her, I just want the best for her and I don't know whether I should bring up counselling for her... She told me that she often pretends to herself that she's pregnant. I don't know what could cause her to act this way... I've always been there for her, we're really close, her dad's always been around and we've been happily married for over 20 years.... Thank you all for your support and advice.
Posted by Anonymous on Oct. 7, 2012 at 3:56 PM
Replies (21-30):
mstkn.identity
by on Oct. 7, 2012 at 4:10 PM
Weird. What site?
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
addiecakesmommy
by on Oct. 7, 2012 at 4:10 PM

Tell her to get in to writing. Maybe that will help her with these fictional lives rather than actually using other people's pictures and associating with real moms. 

kansasmom1978
by on Oct. 7, 2012 at 4:12 PM
1 mom liked this

I would ask her. I know my niece did something like that for school when she took parenting. She had to write a paper about parenting a child. So she joined a site under an assumed name to get 1st hand info from moms. Your daughter might have a reasonable explanation.

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Oct. 7, 2012 at 4:12 PM
http://babyandbump.momtastic.com


Quoting mstkn.identity:

Weird. What site?

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Oct. 7, 2012 at 4:13 PM
I honestly don't think I would punish her. I would be more concentrated on understanding WHY at the moment.

Quoting Anonymous:

Thank you. I'm not angry at her, I just don't understand... She definitely needs to delete the account and take down the pictures. I don't know if I should punish her or not? Being a mom isn't as easy as she obviously thinks it is.




Quoting Anonymous:

Wow. I would just talk to her, let her know you know, that you're not angry but you need to understand why she's doing this and that pretending to be something you're not isn't right and that she needs to delete the account - her time as a mom will come.

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Oct. 7, 2012 at 4:14 PM
My daughter doesn't take anything like that though... I know health is compulsory at their school though, I really hope it's something like this. I don't know whether to phone her now and tell her to come home..


Quoting kansasmom1978:

I would ask her. I know my niece did something like that for school when she took parenting. She had to write a paper about parenting a child. So she joined a site under an assumed name to get 1st hand info from moms. Your daughter might have a reasonable explanation.


702girly
by on Oct. 7, 2012 at 4:15 PM

She's trollin'. It's not that serious.

CABZS
by Emerald Member on Oct. 7, 2012 at 4:16 PM

I wouldn't punish for the account; I would punish for posting pics of a baby that isn't her's.

Quoting Anonymous:

Thank you. I'm not angry at her, I just don't understand... She definitely needs to delete the account and take down the pictures. I don't know if I should punish her or not? Being a mom isn't as easy as she obviously thinks it is.


Quoting Anonymous:

Wow. I would just talk to her, let her know you know, that you're not angry but you need to understand why she's doing this and that pretending to be something you're not isn't right and that she needs to delete the account - her time as a mom will come.


Mommy2BeAmy
by on Oct. 7, 2012 at 4:18 PM
There are worse accounts she could've made on worse sites. Be thankful this is just going to be a little bump in the road and not potentially threatening or something not fixable
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Oct. 7, 2012 at 4:19 PM
True, I'm quite annoyed about that and I'm sure her auntie would be too.


Quoting CABZS:

I wouldn't punish for the account; I would punish for posting pics of a baby that isn't her's.


Quoting Anonymous:

Thank you. I'm not angry at her, I just don't understand... She definitely needs to delete the account and take down the pictures. I don't know if I should punish her or not? Being a mom isn't as easy as she obviously thinks it is.



Quoting Anonymous:

Wow. I would just talk to her, let her know you know, that you're not angry but you need to understand why she's doing this and that pretending to be something you're not isn't right and that she needs to delete the account - her time as a mom will come.




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