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My 17yo is pretending she's a mom! *update* *update2*

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post
I'm so confused and don't know what to do. My 17yo DD has always loved babies, always wanted baby dolls for Christmas when she was little, used to help me out with her siblings by choosing outfits or 'helping' me change diapers etc. She also always talked about how much she wants kids of her own, but I guess I didn't realise how much... I borrowed her laptop today. I asked if I could use it, she said yes because she was going to a friends house. Ok, great. I did what I needed to do on there and as I opened up google a chat message popped up in the corner from a name I didn't recognise (and we live in a tiny village, I know everybody) but I didn't click on it until I saw "Answer me! Or is your son...." This confused me, so I opened up the message. From this, I found a link to an account on a mom & baby website, where my DD has set up an account and basically created a whole fake life... It's not her real name but it is her real photo and she's been posting pictures of her baby cousin claiming that he's her son... I don't know what to do or say to her. I know at her age I felt the same way about wanting a child so much, it was all I thought about really. I just have no idea how to handle this. Any advice? Thank you so much.

Thank you all for your advice. I just phoned my DD and asked her to come home. She sounded worried; I haven't told her everything yet, I just told her I wanted to talk to her about something. She'll be back in 15 minutes.

DD and I have spoken. When she got back, she was really nervous. I told her I wanted to talk about something I found on her laptop and showed her the webpage and explained how I ended up on the page. She immediately started crying. I told her that I wasn't angry, I just didn't understand. She told me that ever since she was six she's felt like she should be a mom... And that's all she's ever wanted from life. She wants to go to college too but she wants a child so badly... She assured me she's not actively trying to get pregnant with her BF, that he doesn't want kids yet and doesn't know how much she wants them, but that she's got the implant (she even made me feel, and I know she's not lying). We chatted about how difficult it is to look after a child, she said she didn't really know, and there were a lot of things she hasn't considered... I asked her if she wanted to look after her new baby cousin for the weekend with little help so that's what she's doing next week. However, I did tell her I'm disappointed that she put pictures of him online without permission from her aunt or from me. She agreed to remove the account, and said that she's sorry. I'm not angry with her, I just want the best for her and I don't know whether I should bring up counselling for her... She told me that she often pretends to herself that she's pregnant. I don't know what could cause her to act this way... I've always been there for her, we're really close, her dad's always been around and we've been happily married for over 20 years.... Thank you all for your support and advice.
Posted by Anonymous on Oct. 7, 2012 at 3:56 PM
Replies (41-50):
zebbyzebby06
by Gold Member on Oct. 7, 2012 at 4:32 PM
Bump
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Oct. 7, 2012 at 4:33 PM
I will


Quoting Anonymous:

Update us after the talk!

mrscass0416
by Platinum Member on Oct. 7, 2012 at 4:36 PM
Bump
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Oct. 7, 2012 at 4:36 PM
2 moms liked this
Fantasy, role play, video games, books... are all fiction and imagination. This is real life. Plus she's using pictures of a child on the internet who is not hers claiming he is. And I doubt she has permission from the mom to use them for a fake profile.

Quoting Angeldolphine:

fantacy, role play, video games, books..all pretending to be different people. How is this bad? It's a teen "pretend"

Quoting Anonymous:

Wow. I would just talk to her, let her know you know, that you're not angry but you need to understand why she's doing this and that pretending to be something you're not isn't right and that she needs to delete the account - her time as a mom will come.


mstkn.identity
by on Oct. 7, 2012 at 4:37 PM
Thats very interesting. I guess its better then her actually bein a teen mom.

Quoting Anonymous:

http://babyandbump.momtastic.com




Quoting mstkn.identity:

Weird. What site?

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Angeldolphine
by on Oct. 7, 2012 at 4:45 PM

The picture of the child is the part I don't like. Otherwise, this is harmless and doesn't hurt anyone. It is still fiction and imagination, not real life. She's not taking the child around and saying it is hers. She's pretending the child is hers. The part that is wrong, is using a picture without permission.

Quoting Anonymous:

Fantasy, role play, video games, books... are all fiction and imagination. This is real life. Plus she's using pictures of a child on the internet who is not hers claiming he is. And I doubt she has permission from the mom to use them for a fake profile.

Quoting Angeldolphine:

fantacy, role play, video games, books..all pretending to be different people. How is this bad? It's a teen "pretend"

Quoting Anonymous:

Wow. I would just talk to her, let her know you know, that you're not angry but you need to understand why she's doing this and that pretending to be something you're not isn't right and that she needs to delete the account - her time as a mom will come.



MomX3LJC
by on Oct. 7, 2012 at 4:48 PM
Bump for after talk update
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
spooky415
by Ruby Member on Oct. 7, 2012 at 4:49 PM
My husbands ex has done this. She has a lot of emotional issues. I'm not saying your DD does but you may want to look into why she is reaching out to strangers about this...
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
JenW777
by Member on Oct. 7, 2012 at 4:49 PM

BUMP!

ahasugar
by on Oct. 7, 2012 at 4:50 PM

 what did the message say? it sounds aggressive

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