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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

A vent about DF...and some advice needed

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 4 Replies

DF and I are getting married in a little less than 2 weeks and he is driving me completely insane.  It's been building up for a while but today was just the icing on the cake.

DS and I got up this morning around 7:30 and amazingly DF got up around 8 (he never gets up that early on weekends, and never gets up with me).  I was going to ask if he could watch DS for a while so I could go to the grocery store and get some wedding stuff (things we were supposed to do together yesterday but DF's nap and going out to the bar took precedence).  After staying up for about 5 minutes this morning, he went back to bed.  DS and I left and went out to do our shopping. I think DF got back up around 11.

Anywho, I don't want to make this too long, but DF ended up doing absolutely NOTHING at all today.  I busted ass all day shopping (two different occasions), potty training DS, cleaning, making pumpkin pie & pumpkin bread from scratch, the chili, etc.  On top of this, I'm pregnant and still in the first trimester so feeling shitty accordingly.  He did nothing.  He made it quite clear that he wanted nothing more than to play video games and take a nap (both of which he did).  He's been up for a couple hours now and just went back into the bedroom with homework and shut the door (which means we're not supposed to bother him).  He has not thanked me for feeding him and admitted a while back that he was hungover (but even if he didn't have a hangover this whole day's scenario would have been the same). 

I swear, lately I feel like we're not roommates.  We never do anything together, we don't eat together, he sleeps in & does whatever he wants while I'm left to play house.  It's driving me nuts.  We've had a talk about this in the past and things got better for a while, but now it's just the same old thing.  I'm starting to resent him.  I know we really need to sit down and talk about this but I'm worried that I'm going to blow up because I'm so emotional over it. 

What would you do?  Has anybody else been through this?

Posted by Anonymous on Oct. 7, 2012 at 8:51 PM
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Replies (1-4):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Oct. 7, 2012 at 9:49 PM

This sounds like stuff you should have worked out way before now.  YOu have a child and one on the way.  You are getting married.  Do you think this will change?  It won't.  He sounds immature and selfish.  This will be your life.  I would be rethinking getting married. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Oct. 7, 2012 at 9:53 PM
I agree. It's only going to get worse if you don't work it out ASAP. He might need the ultimatum. Shape up and work together on things ir no wedding.


Quoting Anonymous:

This sounds like stuff you should have worked out way before now.  YOu have a child and one on the way.  You are getting married.  Do you think this will change?  It won't.  He sounds immature and selfish.  This will be your life.  I would be rethinking getting married. 


mineandme
by Member on Oct. 7, 2012 at 10:23 PM
I agree with the other posts, if you accept it now you'll be accepting it for the duration of your relationship. Talk to him and be firm about what you want. If he doesn't get his act together rethink the marriage and future with him. A relationship of loneliness and resentment is no way to live.
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Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Oct. 8, 2012 at 10:38 AM
I haven't said anything to him yet because I thought I was just feeling moody & going through a phase where I couldn't stand him. Now I realize I'm not the problem. He's not lazy every day (and I sure have days where I don't do much of anything) but it's this whole thing that we are living completely separate lives that pisses me off. DS is not his son & we've had talks about what I want and need in a man. I don't need just some guy hanging out at the house who seemingly doesn't want to have anything to doo with me or my kid. I need someone to take the role of a stepfather. I need to not be a single parent anymore. And if he thinks that the way things are going is just peachy keen then he's gonna find himself living alone. I need a partner, not a roommate.


Quoting Anonymous:

This sounds like stuff you should have worked out way before now.  YOu have a child and one on the way.  You are getting married.  Do you think this will change?  It won't.  He sounds immature and selfish.  This will be your life.  I would be rethinking getting married. 


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