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Its not that hard to be a SAHM.......

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

I know I am going to get bashed for this but... Its not that hard to be a SAHM.

I had four children under the age of 6.  But still when my (now deceased) Dh got home the kids had been bathed and were in their Pjs. Tea was ready within 10 mins after he walked in the door. I'd take his plate and make him a coffee. The house would be clean and tidy. (although you could tell there was children living there. We had a big playroom that the kids would tidy up each day)

I would spend quality time with the kids. We would sing songs and dance to the Wiggles. We would go to the park and be amazed at the daffodils. They would play outside while I (at 41 weeks pregnant) would mow the lawns and chopped the wood. They would 'help' me with the dishes.

I am NOT saying that my Dh was right in letting me do all the chores and cooking. Looking back it was selfish of him. But I loved him and I wanted life at home to be a peaceful happy place. I was always terrified if things weren't right he would be gone. He took his own life 8yrs ago and if I am ever lucky enough to have a new relationship you can bet your @ss he will be helping with the kids and the house.

That said.. it was managable.  I have 4 children, 2 of them with pervasive devalopment disorders. I had PND.  I pretty much have no family to help. But it was fun and we were happy. Some times my friends would come and i'd get to go to the supermarket with no kids!  The joy of getting a basket to get my groceries instead of a double trolley and kids trailing behind!  But I was always happy to get back to my kids. And I am proud of the fact I can peel a potato and breastfeed at the same time.!!

My kids are teenagers now. Its a different kind of happy.  I no longer have the kids full time. But there are other things in my life now. I don't remember feeling particulary overwhelmed.  Maybe I am looking back with Rose Tinted Glasses.

Anybody else think SAHM in not that bad?

Posted by Anonymous on Oct. 7, 2012 at 9:52 PM
Replies (121-130):
Mamaof3and1tobe
by Platinum Member on Oct. 8, 2012 at 9:28 AM
Same age as mine with ADHD. It has taken me so long to gain the patience I need for her. She can be extremely emotional too. My boy is only 8 months. He's so simple for the most part.


Quoting Aamy:

My DD has ADHD as well and is 6 and My son is 1 1/2.



Quoting Mamaof3and1tobe:

This to a T right on down to the hubby part!!!





I have 4 kids. Ages 9, 6, 2, and 8 months. One has ADHD and ODD. Her alone can be very tough to handle.





You just have to keep in mind that what works for you does not mean that it will work for others. Why? Because everyone is DIFFERENT.






Quoting Aamy:

Your right, its not HARD, but can sure damn well be overwhelming at times. And also not EVERY woman is the same. Some can handle stress and chaos differently then others. I can usually do ok. But there are times when i am at my wits end and need help. DH helps out A LOT. He will come home, sometimes help with dinner, put the kids in the shower as i clean up from dinner, helps put them to bed. On weekends, he gets up with them in the morning, helps cook breakfast, helps me clean around the house. I cant always do it ALL by myself. 



Posted on CafeMom Mobile
jen2150
by Platinum Member on Oct. 8, 2012 at 9:39 AM

I am home  all day about 3-4 days per week.  I try to be home at least every other day inorder to get things done.  When I am home I have plenty to do.  I practice my karate, read, exercise, watch TV, I love puzzles, playing on the wii with my sons, board games.  The things I can do at home are very numerous.  Moms whether they work or stay home need hobbies.  Things they love to do.  I never said I was gone every day.  There are so many more things to do than walk the mall.  I never walk the mall.  If you are not happy then maybe you should change it.  I stayed home with my children so they could experience life not just stay home all day.  There is no reason a Mom should be bored all the time.  When I first became a SAHM I had no vehicle and had to stay home all day.  I still was not bored.  I have always enjoyed a variety of interests.  I did miss going places though.  I love traveling and driving places.  

Quoting Aamy:

You answered your own question, your seldom home ...... Not all of us are out running around all day everyday. I get out maybe once a week if that. I don't go shopping everyday, how many times can you walk the mall? Again, everyone is different. Glad you ate happy and never bored, doesn't mean we all live your life.

Quoting jen2150:

I love being a SAHM.  I am extremely busy but I always manage time for myself.  I am currently homeschooling my two boys.  They are 8 and 10 years old.  I enjoy all the learning and traveling we are able to do together.  I also have a great husband so that makes it more fun as well.  I have time to do a lot more things for myself.  I am currently working on getting my black belt in karate.  I just started going back to the gym as well.  Life is good.  I don't ever get bored for very long.  I have many interests and things I can do.  I love to read nonfiction and fiction.  I make sure I take time to read everyday.  I really don't understand how people can say staying home is boring.  Maybe that is because I am seldom home all day.  

I am so sorry to hear about your husband.  That has got to be beyond hard.  I can't even imagine.


Anonymous
by Anonymous 18 on Oct. 8, 2012 at 9:43 AM

You're full of crap. Sorry. In one breath you're saying you were happy and everything was manageable and in the next breath you're saying you were terrified he'd leave you if everything weren't perfect.

But even say you aren't looking through rose tinted glasses. Some women DO find being a sahm to be easy, some do not. There's nothing wrong with either one.

LilyofPhilly
by Platinum Member on Oct. 8, 2012 at 9:45 AM
I did it for 20 years and, no, I did not think it was so hard. I was lonely sometimes and wanted more adult interaction, but most of it was good. I'll never understand women who say they cant shower or go to the bathroom. Teach your kids some respect! And if they're really little, put them in their room and put up a gate!
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Aamy
by Ruby Member on Oct. 8, 2012 at 9:46 AM
I have a 1 1/2 yr old, but that's ok. I forget, ppl like you think its your way or nothing. I never said I was unhappy. Sure I wish it was a little better at times, and yes I get bored, but its just how it is.

Quoting jen2150:

I am home  all day about 3-4 days per week.  I try to be home at least every other day inorder to get things done.  When I am home I have plenty to do.  I practice my karate, read, exercise, watch TV, I love puzzles, playing on the wii with my sons, board games.  The things I can do at home are very numerous.  Moms whether they work or stay home need hobbies.  Things they love to do.  I never said I was gone every day.  There are so many more things to do than walk the mall.  I never walk the mall.  If you are not happy then maybe you should change it.  I stayed home with my children so they could experience life not just stay home all day.  There is no reason a Mom should be bored all the time.  When I first became a SAHM I had no vehicle and had to stay home all day.  I still was not bored.  I have always enjoyed a variety of interests.  I did miss going places though.  I love traveling and driving places.  


Quoting Aamy:

You answered your own question, your seldom home ...... Not all of us are out running around all day everyday. I get out maybe once a week if that. I don't go shopping everyday, how many times can you walk the mall? Again, everyone is different. Glad you ate happy and never bored, doesn't mean we all live your life.



Quoting jen2150:

I love being a SAHM.  I am extremely busy but I always manage time for myself.  I am currently homeschooling my two boys.  They are 8 and 10 years old.  I enjoy all the learning and traveling we are able to do together.  I also have a great husband so that makes it more fun as well.  I have time to do a lot more things for myself.  I am currently working on getting my black belt in karate.  I just started going back to the gym as well.  Life is good.  I don't ever get bored for very long.  I have many interests and things I can do.  I love to read nonfiction and fiction.  I make sure I take time to read everyday.  I really don't understand how people can say staying home is boring.  Maybe that is because I am seldom home all day.  

I am so sorry to hear about your husband.  That has got to be beyond hard.  I can't even imagine.


Posted on CafeMom Mobile
alwayskk
by on Oct. 8, 2012 at 9:47 AM
1 mom liked this

Every person is different. Surely you realize that. Certainly, you realize that what may come easy to you is difficult for another person.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 19 on Oct. 8, 2012 at 9:48 AM
Then you aren't doing it right :)
Ms.Rios11.28.05
by Member on Oct. 8, 2012 at 9:55 AM

It wasn't bad for me, I had my days but all in all it was good and I think easier than going to work all day then coming home and still having to take care a baby and the house. I have never had any family help, we were military for the last 11 years and never lived close to family. My husband also worked crazy long hours or was gone so if I had worked I would still have been the one alone with a baby/toddler anyway. And like with everything in life it is what you make it, I always put in effort to meet people, go on playdates and spend time with friends and all that fun stuff. Now that he's in school and I'm going back to work I really miss those days :(

Byrd15
by on Oct. 8, 2012 at 10:07 AM

I agree with you.

I commend you for your courage ad strength. ♥

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CuriousArentYa
by on Oct. 8, 2012 at 10:10 AM

I will guarantee you there is something I am really good with that you are not. Some parents have to work hard to be great parents. It just doesn't come easy to me like I thought it would. So thank you SUPER MOM for shoving it down my throat that you are sooooo much better than I am. I shall always hail you for being better than me. Feel better?

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