Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Its not that hard to be a SAHM.......

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

I know I am going to get bashed for this but... Its not that hard to be a SAHM.

I had four children under the age of 6.  But still when my (now deceased) Dh got home the kids had been bathed and were in their Pjs. Tea was ready within 10 mins after he walked in the door. I'd take his plate and make him a coffee. The house would be clean and tidy. (although you could tell there was children living there. We had a big playroom that the kids would tidy up each day)

I would spend quality time with the kids. We would sing songs and dance to the Wiggles. We would go to the park and be amazed at the daffodils. They would play outside while I (at 41 weeks pregnant) would mow the lawns and chopped the wood. They would 'help' me with the dishes.

I am NOT saying that my Dh was right in letting me do all the chores and cooking. Looking back it was selfish of him. But I loved him and I wanted life at home to be a peaceful happy place. I was always terrified if things weren't right he would be gone. He took his own life 8yrs ago and if I am ever lucky enough to have a new relationship you can bet your @ss he will be helping with the kids and the house.

That said.. it was managable.  I have 4 children, 2 of them with pervasive devalopment disorders. I had PND.  I pretty much have no family to help. But it was fun and we were happy. Some times my friends would come and i'd get to go to the supermarket with no kids!  The joy of getting a basket to get my groceries instead of a double trolley and kids trailing behind!  But I was always happy to get back to my kids. And I am proud of the fact I can peel a potato and breastfeed at the same time.!!

My kids are teenagers now. Its a different kind of happy.  I no longer have the kids full time. But there are other things in my life now. I don't remember feeling particulary overwhelmed.  Maybe I am looking back with Rose Tinted Glasses.

Anybody else think SAHM in not that bad?

Posted by Anonymous on Oct. 7, 2012 at 9:52 PM
Replies (31-40):
by on Oct. 7, 2012 at 10:07 PM
It depends for some women its not I have a friend with three children and she has bad post partum so she struggles every day she is on meds but it only helps so much
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
by Emerald Member on Oct. 7, 2012 at 10:07 PM
1 mom liked this
I wouldn't want to be a Sahm.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
by on Oct. 7, 2012 at 10:07 PM

Just because it wasn't hard for you doesn't mean it's not hard for others.

I'm not saying it's hard for me either, but it can get overwhelming and tedious.

by Anonymous 8 on Oct. 7, 2012 at 10:09 PM
We're all different. What one finds hard, another might not.
I'm sorry your DH made you feel that way. I'm thankful that my DH isn't like that. There's nothing wrong with receiving help from your spouse.
by Emerald Member on Oct. 7, 2012 at 10:09 PM
1 mom liked this
I'm like you, I don't get when women complain about how hard it is. My favorite is " I get no time for myself!" Or " my dh doesn't help me". Really? You are a grown up, you're overwhelmed by little tiny people? " me time" is just a cop out for selfish people, and I can remember the day I had a two week old nursing in one arm, getting a snack for the 20 month old, helping my13 yr old with homework , and cooking dinner all at the same time with no help from dh. Because the man worked 12 hrs a day to support us! I didn't expect his help! Me time comes when the kids are older and more self sufficient. Don't have kids if you can't do the work.
by Gold Member on Oct. 7, 2012 at 10:11 PM
My DD is 19 and DS is 16 and have been a SAHM for 12 years and I have always loved it. It can be overwhelming at times,DH and I have never had a date night but we spend"quality time" after the kids go to bed. It can me overwhelming at times but I think that once your children get closer to 18 you tend to gloss over all the harder times,the times that made you want to pull your own hair out or run away from home yourself. I think it's like that for most people though.
by on Oct. 7, 2012 at 10:11 PM
For me, it's not hard either. Just overwhelming at times. My Dh is a big help though.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
by Anonymous 9 on Oct. 7, 2012 at 10:12 PM

 I don't think it's difficult and I don't only stay at home and take care of the house and do all the chores but I also work at home too.  There is no other source of income other than mine.  Sometimes things are more difficult than others but nothing to get nuts over. 

The key to keeping things in order in the house and from getting behind on the chores and bills etc is to have a good routine.


by on Oct. 7, 2012 at 10:12 PM

what kind of developmental issues did they have my only my 3 yr old may have autism and im terrifyed to have another

by on Oct. 7, 2012 at 10:12 PM
No I just didn't feel joining a mommy group for two months. Chit chat with the librarians, lifeguard etc doesn't count as socialization to me.

I'm a teacher btw. Summers "off".

Quoting Anonymous:

then you did it wrong.

unless you actually live in the middle of no where with out a car.

Quoting TheMrs407:

, but the isolation is.

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)