You all will probably think this is absolutely stupid as fuck, but I have to get some opinions on it. Here goes...
I have this completely irrational fear of running out of things. Mostly hygene items like shampoo, conditioner, bath soap... Things like that. Because of this fear, I don't take care of myself. I don't shower regularly because I'm afraid we will run out of the things required to do so and my kids and husband won't have what they need to be clean to go to school and work. I don't want to run out and not have the money to go buy more!
In my head this all sounds completely rational, but I was sitting here thinking about it and then started typing this post out and the more I think about it, the more stupid it sounds... even to me. I have things together and in the bathroom to shower and shave and I'm planning on taking a shower tonight, but the reality of it is that in the time between now and when I go to bed I will talk myself out of it.
I haven't showered in about 2 weeks, so it will take about an hour for me to get clean and be satisfied enough to get out. It is so long between showers that I have an unbelievable amount of dead skin that comes off of me. I have to soap myself, rub dead skin off of ever inch of myself and then soap again. It's ridiculous, and I hate even thinking about it.
Does anyone else have a fear like this that interferes with their life? I honestly feel like that because I'm a stay at home mother, that I come last when it comes to everything, and that's how it SHOULD be. Everyone else should come first because they have places to be daily and all I do is sit here at home, so why do I need to shower? I know that this is not normal, but I don't know what to do to stop making what feels like excuses for this behavoir and to stop rationalizing this all in my head. Especially since I KNOW that it is anything but rational thinking!
I need some suggestions! I need to shower regularly! I'm a parent who is involved in my childrens' extra-curricular activities and am around other parents as well as my kids' friends!