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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

My confession

Posted by on Oct. 8, 2012 at 2:58 AM
  • 37 Replies

My name is Breanna, I'm 21, married with 2 daughters who are 2 and 1. I am currently 24 weeks pregnant with identical twin boys. I am going through an adoption process for my twin boys. It's the hardest decision I ever had to make. My marriage is failing, been with DH for 4 years. He is addicted to that synthetic marijuana and it's financially draining us on his $8.00 hr job. I also work and bring in just as much as he does. Just enough to make it buy each month. There is more to our problems, but we have chosen adoption for our boys. We have chosen Mark & Genia, a couple who has been married and has tried to have a baby since 1998. They were chose to adopt a baby boy 2 years ago, but 3 weeks after the birth and after they had grant home, BM decided she wanted to raise him and they returned him. I finally got to speak with them on the phone, and we really like each other which is great! I know they can give my sons better opportunities in life, and they would have a chance to be way more successful, than I could ever give them. 

My in laws (mil and gil)  told me when we found out my mirena didn't work and I was pregnant, that I should just shoot myself in the head. Lovely huh? My other in laws are sad about it and try to get me to keep them every day. As much as I want to and DH wants to, I know they will have a better well off life with Mark and Genia. As for my girls, I keep my marriage problems seperate from them, and try to save up enough money as I can to make sure they have some money put away for their future, my husband is a wonderful father, just not a very good husband or provider. I buy most of what we need, while he buys his stuff. I changed the rules this week. His pay will go into my bank account, and he will be quiting. I'll be buy his side once again during his withdrawals. This isn't the first time, I have had to kick his butt into gear and stop him from doing drugs. I have been doing this for awhile, he didn't start until after his dad introduced it to him.

Anyways, i guess my confession is, even though it hurts me every day to feel my sons kicks, I know they are going to a couple who will love them, and take care of them, only 90 more days until I have to let them go, that day will be the hardest day in my life and I'm dreading it.

It's ok to bash, I bash myself all the time for marrying an irresponsible guy, and my birth control failing. I have no excuses. I am and was approved for getting my tubes tied, which will be done after the twins are born.

by on Oct. 8, 2012 at 2:58 AM
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Replies (1-10):
MommieBre21
by on Oct. 8, 2012 at 3:08 AM

Sorry just need to get this all out, I don't have family to talk to =)

504bbymami
by Sapphire Member on Oct. 8, 2012 at 3:10 AM
Wow hugs mama

I'm sorry you're going through this but you sound like an incredibly responsible young woman and your kids are lucky to have you. I wish you all the best.
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MommieBre21
by on Oct. 8, 2012 at 3:12 AM

Thank you!!

Quoting 504bbymami:

Wow hugs mama

I'm sorry you're going through this but you sound like an incredibly responsible young woman and your kids are lucky to have you. I wish you all the best.


Awakened1
by Gold Member on Oct. 8, 2012 at 3:21 AM
It's a sad situation to be in and far from ideal but just focus on the fact that you are doing this out of love for them and want them to have the best opportunities in life. If you can, try to have some form of contact written into your contract. That way you get to reassure yourself that they are getting what they deserve. As for your husband, hopefully the reality of the sacrifice you are having to make will make him reevaluate his current decision making.
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April620
by Ruby Member on Oct. 8, 2012 at 3:22 AM
Why does he smoke synthetic marijuana? The real stuff is cheaper and healthier. Sorry about your situation though, sounds like your husband really needs to grow up.
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MommieBre21
by on Oct. 8, 2012 at 3:25 AM

I have chose an open adoption, so i will recieve pictures and updates, and I think a yearly visit, I'm not sure yet, I'm just now being able to get to know the parents, and reassuring them that this an 100% sure decision. So I should be able to talk to them more now and get to know them better, I just picked them 2 weeks ago, so I'm trying to make Genia feel as comfortable as possible, I asked her to be in the delivery room with me, she and her husband are picking out their names, and I told her she is welcome to come to every doctor appointment I have, and I have the boys' ultrasounds framed for them, for their nursery. 

Quoting Awakened1:

It's a sad situation to be in and far from ideal but just focus on the fact that you are doing this out of love for them and want them to have the best opportunities in life. If you can, try to have some form of contact written into your contract. That way you get to reassure yourself that they are getting what they deserve. As for your husband, hopefully the reality of the sacrifice you are having to make will make him reevaluate his current decision making.


MommieBre21
by on Oct. 8, 2012 at 3:27 AM

He was, he was also smoking meth and doing hydros, percs, and xanaxs. I got him off of everything, and then his dad introduced him to that synthetic stuff and he's been doing that ever since. It's frustrating.

Quoting April620:

Why does he smoke synthetic marijuana? The real stuff is cheaper and healthier. Sorry about your situation though, sounds like your husband really needs to grow up.


Awakened1
by Gold Member on Oct. 8, 2012 at 3:29 AM
That's good but I would say that there are incidents where adoptive parents are initially ok with things being open and change their minds over time. So please ensure it is a written agreement.


Quoting MommieBre21:

I have chose an open adoption, so i will recieve pictures and updates, and I think a yearly visit, I'm not sure yet, I'm just now being able to get to know the parents, and reassuring them that this an 100% sure decision. So I should be able to talk to them more now and get to know them better, I just picked them 2 weeks ago, so I'm trying to make Genia feel as comfortable as possible, I asked her to be in the delivery room with me, she and her husband are picking out their names, and I told her she is welcome to come to every doctor appointment I have, and I have the boys' ultrasounds framed for them, for their nursery. 


Quoting Awakened1:

It's a sad situation to be in and far from ideal but just focus on the fact that you are doing this out of love for them and want them to have the best opportunities in life. If you can, try to have some form of contact written into your contract. That way you get to reassure yourself that they are getting what they deserve. As for your husband, hopefully the reality of the sacrifice you are having to make will make him reevaluate his current decision making.



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Awakened1
by Gold Member on Oct. 8, 2012 at 3:29 AM
That's good but I would say that there are incidents where adoptive parents are initially ok with things being open and change their minds over time. So please ensure it is a written agreement.


Quoting MommieBre21:

I have chose an open adoption, so i will recieve pictures and updates, and I think a yearly visit, I'm not sure yet, I'm just now being able to get to know the parents, and reassuring them that this an 100% sure decision. So I should be able to talk to them more now and get to know them better, I just picked them 2 weeks ago, so I'm trying to make Genia feel as comfortable as possible, I asked her to be in the delivery room with me, she and her husband are picking out their names, and I told her she is welcome to come to every doctor appointment I have, and I have the boys' ultrasounds framed for them, for their nursery. 


Quoting Awakened1:

It's a sad situation to be in and far from ideal but just focus on the fact that you are doing this out of love for them and want them to have the best opportunities in life. If you can, try to have some form of contact written into your contract. That way you get to reassure yourself that they are getting what they deserve. As for your husband, hopefully the reality of the sacrifice you are having to make will make him reevaluate his current decision making.



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thefiregoddess
by MotherDucker on Oct. 8, 2012 at 3:29 AM
1 mom liked this
I rarely ever agree with 504 but this to a t!
:)


Quoting 504bbymami:

Wow hugs mama



I'm sorry you're going through this but you sound like an incredibly responsible young woman and your kids are lucky to have you. I wish you all the best.
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