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have you ever noticed

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

that the moms who seem to have it all figured out, or at least claim they do, are the ones who have like, oh, one child...and that one child is still a toddler.
These are the moms who post about how they know how the way they do it is the right way. They've figured that out in the 3 years they've been a parent, because their 3 year old bestowed their wisdom on them, or because their 4 year old is doing so well in preschool, ect.

The moms who know how you should discipline your child, feed your child, sleep with/without, hold/not hold, ect your children, are the ones who have one toddler. But they've figured it all out.

These are the moms I want to talk to in 5 years, when they have child number two. The one that doesn't stop when told to stop. That doesn't repsond to the discipline that worked so well with child #1. The kids taht throw fits in the middle of the store, while the sweet oldest child stands there, still being a great child.

The thing is, those of us moms with more than one child are the ones who can admit that we don't have all the answers. Because we've learned something new with each new child that we didn't know before. We realize with each new child that the "right" way, was only the "right"way for that first child. Maybe we don't know it all.

I'm not saying that every mom with one child is a know-it-all, so before you start bitching, don't. I'm just sayng that a lot of mothers who get on here and tell you how to raise your child, or tell you how she knows spanking is wrong "because", are the moms of one. They've had all of 3 or 4 years of experience with one child, yet they know everything.

Come back after 2 more, then tell me what you know!! :-)

 

ps. This is all done in fun! not attacking anyone

Posted by Anonymous on Oct. 8, 2012 at 11:26 AM
Replies (21-30):
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Oct. 8, 2012 at 12:08 PM
1 mom liked this
I don't have it all figured out, but I do know what works for mine. I give advice on what worked for me because that is all I know. I'm so tired of the "you're not mom enough until you have 10 kid's" bullshit. You don't know shit until you have a kid, then you don't know shit until you have 2 kids. Then there are the moms of multiples who say you don't know shit until you have twins! Then there are the mom's of many who say you don't know shit until you've had at least 5 kid's.

I know 2 women with 5 kid's, one doesn't know shit! All her teens/adults are criminals or welfare bums and the 2 younger kid's are asshole kid's on their way to jail any year now. I know way better than she does, and I only have 1 kid.

I'm sure this post wasn't aimed at women like me, because I never come on here as the know-it-all, but these comments get insulting. People on here act as if I'm not a real mom because I only have one child. I see that as the opposite. I carried my son and pushed him out. I am his mom. I am a responsible parent because I didn't have more kid's than I could care for.

I am a mom and I am a good mom. I know everything I need to know up until this point, and what more do I need? None of us can know anything passed today.
kryptomom
by Gold Member on Oct. 8, 2012 at 12:09 PM
1 mom liked this

That's like me giving advice on brain surgery.  lol

Quoting funny_girl3:

Ugh!  My brothers in law love to give parenting advice...they are both single with no kids. 

Quoting MJNMADDYSMOMMY:

No Mom ever has it all figured out ever! Lol

My pet peve is wwhen people who don't have any children at all criticize your parenting!



StrangeDays
by Gold Member on Oct. 8, 2012 at 12:12 PM
As mothers, and humans, we never stop learning, period.
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Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Oct. 8, 2012 at 12:15 PM

you're right, you are a mom. Just as much as anyone else. You aren't any less a mom because you have one child. And I'm not saying that, and no this is not aimed at you. Or any one person.

I'm talking about the moms who don't only know what works best for them, but thinks that because it works for them, iis the the one and only way to parent and they feel the need to let everyone know it is the right way. Because it works for them with their one child.

It's great when a parent has mastered how to deal with each child. That's our goal. Not to have it all figured out, because, ha, that will never happen! I actually feel sorry for the moms who think they have all the answers. Because they are the ones who will be very disappointed and confused when the next child comes along and their "right way" doesn't work anymore. Rather than being open to new things all the time.

What I'm saying is, the more children you have, the more you realize you didn't really know as much as you thought. Not saying it makes you a better mom. You just learn with each child, that everything you thought you knew, you might as well throw out the window.

Unless you only plan to have one! Then, hey, if it's working for you, awesome!!

Quoting Anonymous:

I don't have it all figured out, but I do know what works for mine. I give advice on what worked for me because that is all I know. I'm so tired of the "you're not mom enough until you have 10 kid's" bullshit. You don't know shit until you have a kid, then you don't know shit until you have 2 kids. Then there are the moms of multiples who say you don't know shit until you have twins! Then there are the mom's of many who say you don't know shit until you've had at least 5 kid's.

I know 2 women with 5 kid's, one doesn't know shit! All her teens/adults are criminals or welfare bums and the 2 younger kid's are asshole kid's on their way to jail any year now. I know way better than she does, and I only have 1 kid.

I'm sure this post wasn't aimed at women like me, because I never come on here as the know-it-all, but these comments get insulting. People on here act as if I'm not a real mom because I only have one child. I see that as the opposite. I carried my son and pushed him out. I am his mom. I am a responsible parent because I didn't have more kid's than I could care for.

I am a mom and I am a good mom. I know everything I need to know up until this point, and what more do I need? None of us can know anything passed today.


AleaKat
by on Oct. 8, 2012 at 12:16 PM
1 mom liked this
Or better yet the women who don't even have kids!
Had a woman tell me I was a horrible mother when my oldest was 2 weeks old! He'll not even I knew what I was doing at that point I was still figuring everything out. No drugs didn't drink, I was breast feeding and I didn't co sleep- still trying to figure out her logic .
Anyway she ended up having her own much later....wonder how that went? Lol
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Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Oct. 8, 2012 at 12:18 PM

this can be said for anyone in any situation. There are just certain types of people who become experts at something within seconds of starting! Whether being a parent, or a doctor (hey, I went to med school for a few weeks, I know as much as any doctor out there! yeah, there are those out there! lol!), a car mechanic, anything. There are people who just feel they are God's gift to (fill in the blank) and you should be honored to be getting their advice!

lol! this is all in fun, ladies!!

MusicMuse1991
by on Oct. 8, 2012 at 12:19 PM

i will never have a second child. i know i can only handle one.

AmberRose1122
by Gold Member on Oct. 8, 2012 at 12:19 PM
My first child is ADHD and is a handful, always has been. He's never listened. We used to not be able to go to the store from the age of 2-4 because he was that naughty. I hope and pray that the one I'm pregnant with is easy lol :) but yes, I've noticed what you are referring to. IRL, I love when people without children give suggestions.
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Anonymous
by Anonymous on Oct. 8, 2012 at 12:20 PM
I know what you mean. There's a couple of moms that are like that in our Gymboree class. I just nod and say yes. Letting their jargon go through one ear and out the other. I only have one child, an 18 month old and I'm far from knowing it all. All I can do is give advice from what I've learned up to this point.
I've learned that when it comes to advice, it's better to refrain and only give your opinion when asked. :)
Quoting Anonymous:


Cpdsptchgrl
by on Oct. 8, 2012 at 12:20 PM
Not 9, 5. It states that in her response.

Quoting Anonymous:

Apparently Birth Control... was not one those things you learn... 9 kids and counting? ?




Quoting kailalaila:

I have 5 kids and with my first one I thought I knew it all.. and then I had 4 more then realized I had alot to learn. I think that no matter how many you have you always learn something new.


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