I really should have known better....

[Anonymous]

I like to help where i can and with whatever i can... I have very few friends. Well recently one of my oldest friends left her husband.  She moved in with me and my family ( I talked it over with SO and he was supportive because her husband beat her) .  Well she has lived with us since May.  At that point she had her son. Well she had wanted to try and make it on her own she moved to her house kicked her hubby out got a restatining order. That lasted one day! she tried to kill her self.  Well SO and I said she could come back here ( her parents are asses and "didn't have room for her". She doesnt have her son (at this point) Since shes been here she hasnt helped with anything. I am caring for another child!!!!!!!!  She sleeps all day goes out all night.... She gets all kinds of state aid because when she filed for the help she had her son. She has put in 2 applications for jobs!!! But she isnt even going to get them because she hasnt even checked up on them. 

  I am at my witts end and I want to snap and kick her out!!!! Then again i know she has NO place to go and I do not want to do that or cant do that to a friend.  I just want some help with something. I have sat her down and talked to her and it does not get through. My next step is taking away the cell phone (I PAY FOR) and making her pay something twords the bills and the other stuff she uses that we pay for ( laundry deturgent, shampoo ect.)  How can I word this nicely? How can I do this with out being the bitch i have become for keeping so quite for long.  

UPDATE:

I talked to her last night. I got the tearful I'm sorry and I know what I am doing is wrong but I am trying to change it.... She has a really crappy excuse for locking her self in her room all day... She doesn't want to ruin our family time. REALLY???? Our family time is the us putting on the radio the kids dancing and SO playing on his phone and me doing my homework its either that or we all watch a movie, play outside or clean together.  Not sure how much longer before SO just kicks her out because hes tired of her shit and her lying.

[Anonymous 2]

It's time for her to go!

[AccidentalAdult]

Pffft, too fucking bad she has no place to go. If she doesn't have her kid, then fuck her. Tell her get up off her ass and do something or GTFO.

[MommieBre21]

"Look, I know things have been hard on you, but you need to start pulling your weight around here, or find other arrangements, I don't mean to be rude, but shit has got to change." I don't know. That's what I would say.

[AF2011]

I would tell her she's need to helping out and getting a job. I would give her a deadline. If you don't have a job by the end of the month, I'm sorry but you will have to find another place to live.

[weirdkids]

I know exactly how you feel. We have sd's bm currently living with us. 3 mos hasn't lifted a finger or put a dime back into our household. She uses up all our stuff never replaces it ect. I can't wait till the custody paper is signed so I can kick her the hell out.

[MommieBre21]

wow i couldn't imagine living with my DH's bm.

Quoting weirdkids:

I know exactly how you feel. We have sd's bm currently living with us. 3 mos hasn't lifted a finger or put a dime back into our household. She uses up all our stuff never replaces it ect. I can't wait till the custody paper is signed so I can kick her the hell out.

[babyboy117]

Your paying for her cell!? She is totally taking advantage if you sweetie. Don't worry about sounding like a bitch. She is unappreciative.

[angel_eyez]

Your living in the same house as your hubby and his ex?

Quoting weirdkids:

I know exactly how you feel. We have sd's bm currently living with us. 3 mos hasn't lifted a finger or put a dime back into our household. She uses up all our stuff never replaces it ect. I can't wait till the custody paper is signed so I can kick her the hell out.

[weirdkids]

This is the second one lol and the last. We had to have SS bm forcebly removed and committed lol.

Quoting MommieBre21:

wow i couldn't imagine living with my DH's bm.

Quoting weirdkids:

I know exactly how you feel. We have sd's bm currently living with us. 3 mos hasn't lifted a finger or put a dime back into our household. She uses up all our stuff never replaces it ect. I can't wait till the custody paper is signed so I can kick her the hell out.

[weirdkids]

Yup. I thought I was doing the right thing for SD. They were in a bad situation, I want all the kids together.

Quoting angel_eyez:

Your living in the same house as your hubby and his ex?

Quoting weirdkids:

I know exactly how you feel. We have sd's bm currently living with us. 3 mos hasn't lifted a finger or put a dime back into our household. She uses up all our stuff never replaces it ect. I can't wait till the custody paper is signed so I can kick her the hell out.