Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

I don't feel bad for her.

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

My sister lost her kids almost a year ago. It'll be a year in 2 weeks. It was in large part to something that her boyfriend did, but she never opened up and explained what happened to authorities. She sat on it, and while not protecting him, per say, she wasn't doing anything to help the case against him, either.

Anyway, she has been doing the bare minimum over the past 9 months or so to get her kids back. Her son was only a couple months old at the time, and her daughter was almost school age. She has known since June that one requirement was that she find a suitable living arrangement that included 2 or 3 bedrooms. There were location restrictions as well. She spent from June to early October talking about it, hearing suggestions, and shooting them down.

She figured my aunt would let her and the kids move in with her, but she shot herself in the foot with that one, when she accused our special needs cousin of something. The state will not approve my aunt's home as a possibility.

She had a deadline of September 4th, and watched it pass. They extended it to Oct 1st, and she watched it pass. Today, she's freaking out, because they have given her a hard deadline of 15 days to find, move in, and make livable a home for her two children. If she can't do it, they will be removed from her care permenently.

She has had a full time job making $15/hour, no rent, but she had an eviction on her record that won't be removed until she pays over $1500 in back rent. She also has been required to pay CS to the state over the past year, and she's over $6000 in arrears for CS.

But of course, her nails are always freshly manicured, her clothes are always new, her hair freshly cut and colored every few weeks. She is always complaining that she's broke, and has all these bills, but she was making more than enough to pay them off while she worked, during the time when she didn't have the apartment. She has been bouncing back and forth, living with various family members over the last year- no rent, no utilities, just CS and back debt.

And I don't feel remotely bad for her.

Posted by Anonymous on Oct. 9, 2012 at 12:44 AM
Replies (21-30):
OneToughMami
by Ruby Member on Oct. 9, 2012 at 1:38 AM

she sounds like a shitty human...if you can't do everything you can for your children you don't deserve them.

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Oct. 9, 2012 at 1:38 AM
Talking smack about her does nothing to help her child.


Quoting Anonymous:

To each their own. My sister and I don't speak to begin with, and haven't from the moment I got a phone call saying my nephew was in the hospital with over a dozen unexplained broken bones.

Quoting Anonymous:

If I ever heard my sister was talking about me in a negative way on a message board or anywhere else I would never speak to her again. You are cold blooded.



thehickinhickor
by Platinum Member on Oct. 9, 2012 at 1:39 AM
Really to me sounds like she dose not want them.back but won't say it out loud. are the kids better off with your bother would he want them?
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Oct. 9, 2012 at 1:40 AM

Telling people what happened isn't the same as talking smack. I'm venting, because I can't say it to anyone else. I do not feel sorry for her. She opted not to do what was required of her. She has been given a lot of time and help to get her shit in gear, but being kid free was more important to her.

Quoting Anonymous:

Talking smack about her does nothing to help her child.


Quoting Anonymous:

To each their own. My sister and I don't speak to begin with, and haven't from the moment I got a phone call saying my nephew was in the hospital with over a dozen unexplained broken bones.

Quoting Anonymous:

If I ever heard my sister was talking about me in a negative way on a message board or anywhere else I would never speak to her again. You are cold blooded.




Anonymous
by Anonymous on Oct. 9, 2012 at 1:40 AM
Never


Quoting Anonymous:

Wow, when did you lose custody of your kids and not support them?



Quoting Anonymous:

If I ever heard my sister was talking about me in a negative way on a message board or anywhere else I would never speak to her again. You are cold blooded.

thehickinhickor
by Platinum Member on Oct. 9, 2012 at 1:41 AM
Not everyone's family works the same.i have bothers and sisters we don't talk we are not close. we don't even know each other. and.she is anon only her sister or a close family member would know whom she is talking about

Quoting Anonymous:

If I ever heard my sister was talking about me in a negative way on a message board or anywhere else I would never speak to her again. You are cold blooded.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Aleta775
by on Oct. 9, 2012 at 1:42 AM
Your brother btw sounds awesome, OP. I'm glad the kids are being looked after so well.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Oct. 9, 2012 at 1:42 AM

Yes, they are better off. My niece is 5 now, and over the past year, she has for the first time in her life, known where her bed was each night. My sister had an apartment twice, but my niece and then nephew as well, were often shuffled off to other people every night- friends, family, and even worse- the houses of whoever she was sleeping with at the time. It was rare that she had her children for more than 2 nights a week because she was always dropping them off somewhere.

My niece knows what it means to have a dinner time, a bed time, and to have her own room now. My nephew is young enough that he won't ever remember anything different, if he stays there.

Quoting thehickinhickor:

Really to me sounds like she dose not want them.back but won't say it out loud. are the kids better off with your bother would he want them?


Anonymous
by Anonymous on Oct. 9, 2012 at 1:42 AM
I would think you could find something more interesting to talk about. Why do you need to vent about a person you care nothing about?


Quoting Anonymous:

Telling people what happened isn't the same as talking smack. I'm venting, because I can't say it to anyone else. I do not feel sorry for her. She opted not to do what was required of her. She has been given a lot of time and help to get her shit in gear, but being kid free was more important to her.

Quoting Anonymous:

Talking smack about her does nothing to help her child.





Quoting Anonymous:

To each their own. My sister and I don't speak to begin with, and haven't from the moment I got a phone call saying my nephew was in the hospital with over a dozen unexplained broken bones.

Quoting Anonymous:

If I ever heard my sister was talking about me in a negative way on a message board or anywhere else I would never speak to her again. You are cold blooded.






Anonymous
by Anonymous on Oct. 9, 2012 at 1:56 AM

I know exactly what you mean...I have a friend who keeps losing custody of her son to her mom and she doesn't even care..she's had multiple chances to get him back,but she doesn't try. She prefers to drink,run around with strange men and just generally neglect her duties as a mother. She doesn't work,she lives completely off the government..food stamps, WIC,Medicaid,her housing is paid for,her bills,her cellphone, everything.

I just feel bad for her son because his dad has chosen not to be in his life and now his mom is shirking her responsibilites too. I just wonder how he will feel in ten years when he realizes that neither of his parents cared enough to fight for him.

:-(

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)



Featured