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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Years of repressed feeling finally coming to the surface...

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 5 Replies

This is only a vent, no response necessary. I just need to get this off my chest!

Dear Dad

   For thirty years I wonder who you were, what kind of man you were...if I mattered to you. For the first five years, you would call my sister and I once every six months...once on my birthday, and again on my sisters birthday. You would promise us that birthday cards and money was in the mail. But it always got lost in the mail and never arrived. Finally you stopped calling altogether. It was ten years before we heard from you again. Again you made promises to us that were broken, that you'd come to see us, that you'd send tickets for us to come see you. Again, nothing. 

  When I chose to move closer to you to get to know you, and to let your grandkids get to know you I thought it would be a fresh start. But once again you are making promises for things that you aren't following through on. 

   I live five minutes away from you and yet you STILL don't call or make any effort to come see me and the kids. Then you turn around and guilt me for not calling you or coming over with the kids to see you. All you talk about is dying. You are convinced you are going to die next week and you use that to try to make me and my sisters feel badly for not coming to see you and that makes me angry. You have a brand new grand baby from one of my sisters that you've made no effort to go and see. You insist that my sister pack up everything and the baby to come and see you, then you get mad and guilt her when she doesn't. 

  Perhaps if you had made more of an effort to spend time with us, care for us and love us when we were children instead of pushing us away to be with your girlfriends or downright ignoring some of us that lived too far away to make it worth your time and effor, we would be more willing to put in the effort to make time for you now. We have families of our own who need our care and effort a hell of a lot more than you do. Get over yourself, quit being such a selfish, egotistical ass and act like a father for once!

  Oh yea, my oldest daughters birthday was a month ago. You came to the party with no gift, but told her you'd have it in three days when you got paid? Did that too get lost in the mail along with the five years worth of cards/gifts that you supposedly sent me thirty years ago? 

   I came here to get to know you...now, the more I get to know you, the more I can't stand you. Your selfish, lying, Narcistic attitude just repulses me!!


EDIT 4th post down...

Posted by Anonymous on Oct. 9, 2012 at 2:53 AM
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Replies (1-5):
Supervane
by Ruby Member on Oct. 9, 2012 at 2:56 AM
Print this and show it to him
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
angie729
by Ruby Member on Oct. 9, 2012 at 2:56 AM
Im sorry. I fear my boys will be able to write a similar letter to their dad down the road. This kind of stuff breaks my heart.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Oct. 9, 2012 at 3:03 AM

Im in a similar situation, and it would kill me if I moved closer and he did this to me too. I fear it. Good luck. Please give us an update

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Oct. 9, 2012 at 3:05 AM

My mom died four years ago from cancer, and I felt the need to get in touch with my dad so I wouldn't feel so alone. Now I regret moving away from all of my friends who were more like family to me that he is. Thanks for the support, sorry to be so negative. Just so disappointed right now...

My other daughters birthday (the one he favors) is coming up in a month and if he shows up with a gift for her and doesn't have one for the other daughter by then, I'm gonna flip!!! I am not going to have my children feeling bad, or thinking that one is "loved" more than another! She already feels left out where grampa is concerned. He buys treats for the favored one, pays my son to do yard work, but never has anything for the middle child and it infuriates me!! 

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Oct. 9, 2012 at 3:14 AM


Quoting Anonymous:

Im in a similar situation, and it would kill me if I moved closer and he did this to me too. I fear it. Good luck. Please give us an update

Honestly, I don't know if there will be an update. As hurt and disappointed and angry as I am with him, I still have that fear of rejection from him. So I probably will never tell him how I really feel. He is the kind of man who, when things get tough, he runs away and hides and blames everyone but himself. 

He's never even apologized for ANYTHING! He recently made one of my sisters feel bad about not being over to see him in a while by telling her he'll be dead soon so she won't have to worry about having to go see him. she called me up in tears. I went over and chewed him out and told him I don't care how old your children are, you don't EVER say that to your child. He just said; it's the truth, I'm sick and I've been sick for some time...and never apologized to her!

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