I am 5'4" and currently weigh 190lbs. It's more than I have ever weighed before. I have struggled with my weight since my late teens. I yo-yo like crazy and every time I lose weight I get a little bigger when I gain it back. I am trying to make lifestyle changes to be healthier for my family but it is a slow process and I just quit smoking which has made the weight gain a bit worse.
My husband is overweight as well, not as overweight as I am but he is rocking some man boobs and a gut.
He is embarresed to have a fat wife. He isn't attracted to me at this weight. He said he is concerned for my health but for god sake, I'm not 300lbs and unable to get around. I think he is using that as a way to "soften" the blow.
I understand that I don't look like I did when we met but I feel like I deserve a partner that loves me for me. I want to be loved for who I am, flaws and all. He can't see passed the fat and it has been making me very sad. I want to be thinner, I am trying with diet and excersize but I don't want to yo-yo anymore so I am makimg lifestyle changes rather than dieting and it is really slow going. Plus I feel like even if I get thin I will always carry this feeling that his love for me is conditional and that is only going to be reinforced if he suddenly likes me again. I don't know how to get passed this.
I feel so sad and lonely.