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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

He admitted the problem is my weight

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 367 Replies
1 mom liked this
Well...Last night I asked my husband to come clean about why he is never affectionate and why we never have sex. I knew the reason but it wasn't something we have ever discussed.
I am 5'4" and currently weigh 190lbs. It's more than I have ever weighed before. I have struggled with my weight since my late teens. I yo-yo like crazy and every time I lose weight I get a little bigger when I gain it back. I am trying to make lifestyle changes to be healthier for my family but it is a slow process and I just quit smoking which has made the weight gain a bit worse.
My husband is overweight as well, not as overweight as I am but he is rocking some man boobs and a gut.
He is embarresed to have a fat wife. He isn't attracted to me at this weight. He said he is concerned for my health but for god sake, I'm not 300lbs and unable to get around. I think he is using that as a way to "soften" the blow.
I understand that I don't look like I did when we met but I feel like I deserve a partner that loves me for me. I want to be loved for who I am, flaws and all. He can't see passed the fat and it has been making me very sad. I want to be thinner, I am trying with diet and excersize but I don't want to yo-yo anymore so I am makimg lifestyle changes rather than dieting and it is really slow going. Plus I feel like even if I get thin I will always carry this feeling that his love for me is conditional and that is only going to be reinforced if he suddenly likes me again. I don't know how to get passed this.
I feel so sad and lonely.
Posted by Anonymous on Oct. 9, 2012 at 7:28 AM
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Replies (1-10):
AleaKat
by on Oct. 9, 2012 at 7:31 AM
5 moms liked this
If he wants u back to the original way he can be more supportive of your efforts. Maybe even exercise with you. When hubby and I started going to the gym together we got a lot closer and our sex drives went through the roof
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Oct. 9, 2012 at 7:31 AM
bump
alwayskk
by on Oct. 9, 2012 at 7:33 AM
4 moms liked this

Even 10 extra pounds can shave some years off your life and if you're not happy with yourself then your quality of life is lower. I don't think he's BSing about his health concerns for you. I can understand how you feel otherwise, though.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Oct. 9, 2012 at 7:34 AM
LOL, My sex drive has increased since getting regular excersize but it's just frustrating me more now that he doesn't want me!


Quoting AleaKat:

If he wants u back to the original way he can be more supportive of your efforts. Maybe even exercise with you. When hubby and I started going to the gym together we got a lot closer and our sex drives went through the roof

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Oct. 9, 2012 at 7:34 AM
16 moms liked this
I'm sorry :( A husband's love should never be conditional. He sounds like a shallow jerk :/
AleaKat
by on Oct. 9, 2012 at 7:35 AM
1 mom liked this
He has to put forth an effort too. Make it something you do together.

Quoting Anonymous:

LOL, My sex drive has increased since getting regular excersize but it's just frustrating me more now that he doesn't want me!




Quoting AleaKat:

If he wants u back to the original way he can be more supportive of your efforts. Maybe even exercise with you. When hubby and I started going to the gym together we got a lot closer and our sex drives went through the roof

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Nicoleb9
by Emerald Member on Oct. 9, 2012 at 7:35 AM
23 moms liked this
Oh dear. I know I'm probably going to catch hell here but men are visual. They really need some physical attraction and as much as the women here will kick and scream their denials at me, it's still true.
The only thing I can think of is to see a doctor and get on a healthier diet and exercise more. Even if not for him, do it for you. You'll look better, feel better and most importantly you'll be healthier. Good luck.
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Oct. 9, 2012 at 7:36 AM
Thanks. I hate to feel that way about him because I believe he is a good man but it does seem very shallow to me too. :(


Quoting Anonymous:

I'm sorry :( A husband's love should never be conditional. He sounds like a shallow jerk :/

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Oct. 9, 2012 at 7:37 AM
Aren't you fat?

Quoting alwayskk:

Even 10 extra pounds can shave some years off your life and if you're not happy with yourself then your quality of life is lower. I don't think he's BSing about his health concerns for you. I can understand how you feel otherwise, though.

alwayskk
by on Oct. 9, 2012 at 7:38 AM
2 moms liked this

Yes. Why?

Quoting Anonymous:

Aren't you fat?

Quoting alwayskk:

Even 10 extra pounds can shave some years off your life and if you're not happy with yourself then your quality of life is lower. I don't think he's BSing about his health concerns for you. I can understand how you feel otherwise, though.


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