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Someone is teaching my 4yo racism.

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Yesterday, SO had the day off, so he was around and he was grilling some food for dinner. We have a son together, and our son is black and white. My 4yo is mexican and white.

Well, 4yo out of nowhere decided to start spewing off at the mouth saying "black guys can't be husbands and they're old and dirty"... I don't know if that's something that he can make up, but I drilled him for an hour off and on asking who said that to him or where he learned it from. I told him a million times nicely that he won't be in trouble, but I need to know because whoever that person is, I don't want around my SO, or my other son.

Note that we don't watch a lot of TV and when we do, it's cartoons.


4yo kept going from one person to the other, listing off people who told him this, to the point where I don't know what to believe because he went from my grandfather, all the way to my uncle, to his dad, and a few more people in-between.

Should I Just let it go?

by on Oct. 9, 2012 at 8:38 AM
Replies (21-30):
GLO682
by Silver Member on Oct. 9, 2012 at 9:02 AM

 the more you ask him questions about it, the more attention you are bringing to it. i would let it go. i would be proactive in making sure he is aware that its not true.

UgtaBkdnMe
by on Oct. 9, 2012 at 9:05 AM

I don't think anyone is feeding it to him. Kids say odd shit. My son used to say black is evil, I asked him why he thought that and he said "bad guys always wear black" 

Kids minds do not work like ours do.

Quoting Anonymous:

It's not racist coming from a child but whomever is feeding it to him is. Wtf....black men can't be husbands...smh

Quoting UgtaBkdnMe:

Sounds like shit kids say, nothing racist about it.


Anonymous
by Anonymous on Oct. 9, 2012 at 9:06 AM

This. Don't tell him that whoever taught him that wont be around anymore. If this is someoone he really likes that will stop him from telling you. Ask nochalantly and educate him on it. It could be coming from his dad's side of the family too.

Quoting jillj501:

Maybe drop it for a few days and when he brings it up again be very cool. Nonchalantly ask, "Oh really? Who told you that?" If he won't tell you, you are going to have to start talking to family. SMH! So sad!


Lilindian
by Bronze Member on Oct. 9, 2012 at 9:15 AM

no you shpuld not let it go. I would be pissed if someone was teaching my son to be racist. It is acceptable at all. But don't be mad son he is only 4 and they say everything people tell them to. I would cuss the buthead out once I found out who it was teaching him those things. Goood Luck

mommy_me
by ~The Three B's~ on Oct. 9, 2012 at 9:15 AM

 Let it go? No. Teach your child that saying those kinds of things is hurtful, rude and wrong. And that sometimes adults are not always right(whoever told him those things)

.ChiMama.
by Gold Member on Oct. 9, 2012 at 9:18 AM

No. You should talk to the people he listed and let them know what's going on. Tell them that if they notice him saying these things to correct him. He may have heard other adults talking and is just repeating it. Keep talking to him about it as well and tell him its not right..

BloodyAngel7476
by Bronze Member on Oct. 9, 2012 at 9:20 AM

i remember when my daughter was 5 years old and she saw a boy in his back yard from are back yard. and she said hey little black boy do you want to play. My husband heard her and told her to come hear he was mad he told her she does not say that  and it was wrong and how it was wrong. so my daughter said then what do i call him we both looked at her and said you say hey little boy what is your name and then ask them by there name if they want to play. I did not want my kids growing up thinking that you call the person to you by there color no matter what they were. that we are all people and have names. We are not racist we treat everyone the same and so do my kids rather they hear bad stuff around there friends or family they know better just to be nice to everyone.

wonderwomanT08
by Ruby Member on Oct. 9, 2012 at 9:24 AM

you need to be careful with the "drilling" He is only four. He probably doesnt know where he heard such a thing or doesnt remember. Half could be made up in his head and half could be something he heard. When kids say things (and they will! I have been working with them for many years) the best thing you can do is explain to them that its not OK to talk like that. You have to be careful not to make too big of a deal about it too. Kids can take things the wrong way

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Oct. 9, 2012 at 9:36 AM
They do. Absolutely. But this scenario is a little different being the new SO is black...its just a little too suspect that someone is saying that...kwim?

Quoting UgtaBkdnMe:

I don't think anyone is feeding it to him. Kids say odd shit. My son used to say black is evil, I asked him why he thought that and he said "bad guys always wear black" 

Kids minds do not work like ours do.

Quoting Anonymous:

It's not racist coming from a child but whomever is feeding it to him is. Wtf....black men can't be husbands...smh



Quoting UgtaBkdnMe:

Sounds like shit kids say, nothing racist about it.


UgtaBkdnMe
by on Oct. 9, 2012 at 9:38 AM

I guess I can see that. 

Quoting Anonymous:

They do. Absolutely. But this scenario is a little different being the new SO is black...its just a little too suspect that someone is saying that...kwim?

Quoting UgtaBkdnMe:

I don't think anyone is feeding it to him. Kids say odd shit. My son used to say black is evil, I asked him why he thought that and he said "bad guys always wear black" 

Kids minds do not work like ours do.

Quoting Anonymous:

It's not racist coming from a child but whomever is feeding it to him is. Wtf....black men can't be husbands...smh



Quoting UgtaBkdnMe:

Sounds like shit kids say, nothing racist about it.



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