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Someone is teaching my 4yo racism.

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Yesterday, SO had the day off, so he was around and he was grilling some food for dinner. We have a son together, and our son is black and white. My 4yo is mexican and white.

Well, 4yo out of nowhere decided to start spewing off at the mouth saying "black guys can't be husbands and they're old and dirty"... I don't know if that's something that he can make up, but I drilled him for an hour off and on asking who said that to him or where he learned it from. I told him a million times nicely that he won't be in trouble, but I need to know because whoever that person is, I don't want around my SO, or my other son.

Note that we don't watch a lot of TV and when we do, it's cartoons.

4yo kept going from one person to the other, listing off people who told him this, to the point where I don't know what to believe because he went from my grandfather, all the way to my uncle, to his dad, and a few more people in-between.

Should I Just let it go?

by on Oct. 9, 2012 at 8:38 AM
Replies (31-40):
by on Oct. 9, 2012 at 9:40 AM
Teaching moment. Time for you to teach him that's not right and why it isn't.
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by Platinum Member on Oct. 9, 2012 at 9:43 AM

This is probably just the beginning.  He'll be hearing these things all his life.  Tell him there are good, bad, stupid, and smart people of every race.  And that the stupid ones often say stupid shit like what he's saying.  Then go to every single person he listed off and let them know loud and clear you don't want your son being taught these things. 

by on Oct. 9, 2012 at 9:44 AM

Let it go. You are the primary care giver and your kids are going to pick up all kinds of stupid shit from other people. Just correct the child, and let it go. If you make a big deal out of it the child might start saying things to get attention and make it worse.

by Anonymous 5 on Oct. 9, 2012 at 9:50 AM

I wouldn't be ok with that

by on Oct. 9, 2012 at 9:59 AM

Ask him if he believes that. Don't focus on the who so much as teaching him to decipher for himself truth from fiction. Show him how SO Is a great daddy and the things he does that are going to make him a great husband, and all the nice things he does for him. Point out that SO is not dirty, or loud, or *whatever other odd thing he was saying*. Show him the truth. Then leave it be. If he continues to say it, then get on him. But teach him how to decipher fact from fiction.

by Platinum Member on Oct. 9, 2012 at 10:22 AM


Quoting UgtaBkdnMe:

Sounds like shit kids say, nothing racist about it.

 WHAT?????????? I have never heard kids say shit like this unless A ADULT taught them to say it! And how do you see NOTHING racist about someone saying "black guys cant be husbands and they are old and dirty"?

by on Oct. 9, 2012 at 10:24 AM

I think its just kids being ugly to each other,  just explain that it is not acceptable behavior and move on.

by Anonymous 6 on Oct. 9, 2012 at 10:24 AM

I have the same problem. dd is only 14 months old, but dh and bil, everytime they're in the same room, it's racist remark one after another. dd is already picking up on it. 

by on Oct. 9, 2012 at 10:25 AM

i would let it go with your son and just tell him that isnt nice and they any man is capeable of being a good husband. and i would go to all the people he named and ask them about what he said

by on Oct. 9, 2012 at 10:33 AM

Use it as a teachable moment. Talk about the makeup of your own family. 

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