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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

my 16 year old sister is having sex

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

This is my family issue of the day.

My opinion in this. Teenagers will have sex if they decide to. All you can really do is give them the knowledge they need on sex and protection and hope for the best. No, I am not saying you should support them having sex. You cant keep her locked up forever. If you do she will rebel and it will turn out worse. She is a junior in hs. She makes good grades. She goes to all the hs activities like any normal junior. She is not a trouble maker at all. I think my family should be thankful she was honest mom and me. She could have easily said she wasnt. Atleast this way she can get bc.

My mom agrees with me. Surely she is disappointed, so am I. My older sister is the problem. She is blaming my parents for my sister losing her virginity. Saying my lil sister shouldnt have been alone with this guy and yada yada. He is 17. imo I think my sister can do better. She is gorgeous and hasa good head on her shoulders. Other than this sex thing. But we cant judge her forever because she had sex. Evil bf is a different post all together. So, moving on...

My oldre sister said something that pissed me off. She says she just doesnt want my lil sister to turn out like we did. What? I was unaware I turned out bad. I didnt get pregnant when I was 16. Not bashing anyone who did, but that was a completely different thing all together. I did lose my virginity when I was 15. But I went on to graduate hs and college. I had my son when I was 19, but legally I was an adult.

My older sister on the other hand lost it at 14 and went on to do every guy she ever met. Dropped out of hs, got a rep of being a whore, had 2 kids before she was 20. Boith of them got takin away and my parents are raising them. She got addicted to meth. Thank god she finally grew up in her mid 20s. Now she is doing ok. She is married and has another child that she raises and I am proud of her. The point here is it doesnt always hurt your future, like she is claiming. It did hers because that was the life she chose. I just dont think she needs to be blaming my parents. There is no way this could have been avoided if my lil sister wanted it to happen.

Its not like every 16 yr old gets pregnant. I know alot do, but take a moment to see how many didnt. Like I said I dont support this and I am disappointed. But I love my sister and I think the answer is not to fight with her. The answer is to give her knowledge and birth control incase it happends again. She says it wont, but I know eventually it will.

Ok go ahead, bash me to a pulp. I just want other opinions on this

Posted by Anonymous on Oct. 9, 2012 at 9:34 AM
Replies (11-19):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Oct. 9, 2012 at 9:58 AM
Its not a family issue, her body, her business
mom2the.rescue
by Gold Member on Oct. 9, 2012 at 9:58 AM

When my little sister admitted to me she was having sex, I took her straight to planned parenthood for birth control.  I wanted her to feel comfortable going there.  I wish when my mom read my diary she would have done the same thing for me.  You learn about birth control & condoms, but for some reason not every teen thinks it applies to them.  My mom recently mentioned my sister was smart because she got herself on birth control before she became a pregnant teen.  That hurt.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 5 on Oct. 9, 2012 at 9:58 AM

Bump, no time to read this

mommy_me
by ~The Three B's~ on Oct. 9, 2012 at 10:00 AM

 Still bad parenting to leave a two teens alone together.

And yes it is also self control but a lot of it is opportunity

Quoting Anonymous:

I was left alone with boys as a teen but I had self control. I went to parties where I could have had sex but didn't. I was 17 when I lost my virginity to my now husband. Its not opportunities its self control.

Quoting mommy_me:

 I would not be ok with her having sex. And I can see why your older sister says she doesnt want her to turn out like her.


Teens almost always fail at taking BC correctly. Its sad that at such a young age she is already having sex. Your mother should not have left her alone with a boy. I agree with.


Teens will have sex. WHEN GIVEN THE OPPERTUNITY. If they dont have it, then they wont do it. Im not saying never leave them alone, but dont make it easy for them either

 

CheesyKitty
by on Oct. 9, 2012 at 10:02 AM
So they should still be on chaperoned dates at 16-17? No rides to school? No hanging at each other's homes while the parents are in another room? When do your children get independence?

Op I agree that they are going to do what they are going to do. However you need to be realistic that history could repeat with little sis. Have big sis talk yo her and explain how fucked her teen life was. Hopefully it will scare little sis into being careful.




Quoting mommy_me:

 I would not be ok with her having sex. And I can see why your older sister says she doesnt want her to turn out like her.


Teens almost always fail at taking BC correctly. Its sad that at such a young age she is already having sex. Your mother should not have left her alone with a boy. I agree with.


Teens will have sex. WHEN GIVEN THE OPPERTUNITY. If they dont have it, then they wont do it. Im not saying never leave them alone, but dont make it easy for them either


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Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Oct. 9, 2012 at 10:05 AM

Well if she gets pregnant and gets stds the family will have to pay for whatever she chooses. With a baby her parents will have to support it until she is old enough to. They will have to take her to appointments, pay the drs. If she adopts they will still have to take her to and from places. If she chooses to abort, they will have to take her to and from and pay for it. If she gets stds they have to pay for meds.

I think until she is 18 and supports herself it is a family issue. Thankfully she chose to tell the truth about it

Quoting Anonymous:

Its not a family issue, her body, her business


mommy_me
by ~The Three B's~ on Oct. 9, 2012 at 10:07 AM

 Chaperoned dates? Depends. Are they going in a group with other kids? No. Alone with their date? It really depends on the maturity of the child. Rides to school? Hell no. I will not have some teeny bopper with a drivers licence for 2 months drive my child around. Too many people close to me have died due to teen drivers.

Hanging out in others homes? Depends on the other parents. I wont trust it if the parents are the types to let the kids have boys alone in their room, let the kids drink, smoke etc. My children will get independence slowly as it is earned. But IMO there is a difference between independence and being loose with your parenting

Quoting CheesyKitty:

So they should still be on chaperoned dates at 16-17? No rides to school? No hanging at each other's homes while the parents are in another room? When do your children get independence?

Op I agree that they are going to do what they are going to do. However you need to be realistic that history could repeat with little sis. Have big sis talk yo her and explain how fucked her teen life was. Hopefully it will scare little sis into being careful.




Quoting mommy_me:

 I would not be ok with her having sex. And I can see why your older sister says she doesnt want her to turn out like her.


Teens almost always fail at taking BC correctly. Its sad that at such a young age she is already having sex. Your mother should not have left her alone with a boy. I agree with.


Teens will have sex. WHEN GIVEN THE OPPERTUNITY. If they dont have it, then they wont do it. Im not saying never leave them alone, but dont make it easy for them either


 

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Oct. 9, 2012 at 10:12 AM

I agree with my other sister talking to her. She should see that not everyone turns out ok. Problem there is my older sister wont get off her high horse long enough. She just wants to yell at her and cuss her out. Its been done there is nothing you can do that will take it back. I think my older sister needs to accept it and just talk to her.

I did last night. Me and my little sis are close. But I am 200+ mi away. She needs one of us there for her in person. The only other option is my older sister.

Quoting CheesyKitty:

So they should still be on chaperoned dates at 16-17? No rides to school? No hanging at each other's homes while the parents are in another room? When do your children get independence?

Op I agree that they are going to do what they are going to do. However you need to be realistic that history could repeat with little sis. Have big sis talk yo her and explain how fucked her teen life was. Hopefully it will scare little sis into being careful.




Quoting mommy_me:

 I would not be ok with her having sex. And I can see why your older sister says she doesnt want her to turn out like her.


Teens almost always fail at taking BC correctly. Its sad that at such a young age she is already having sex. Your mother should not have left her alone with a boy. I agree with.


Teens will have sex. WHEN GIVEN THE OPPERTUNITY. If they dont have it, then they wont do it. Im not saying never leave them alone, but dont make it easy for them either



Anonymous
by Anonymous 6 on Oct. 9, 2012 at 10:15 AM
It is good she was honest to get birth control so she can prevent pregnancy but also stress condoms cuz who knows what kids have nowadays. My 17yr old sister was honest with me when it was almost too late, I had to spend 50bucks on the plan b pill for her dumb ass
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