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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Someone help me figure out how to deal with this politely, before I have to slap a birch.

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As some of you may remember we have a new neighbor. I started off relations with her by introducing myself, and then advising her that my husband has Asperger's and that sometimes he "melts down". He's never violent, but he yells. Loudly. 

She said she used to be a nurse, and that she understood perfectly. 

Her first weekend here she invited my son and me to come outside and play with her and her granddaughter. She was nice enough, but made several comments which got under my skin. Very condescending, holier than thou comments, including telling my son "These kids don't know what Angry Birds is, these are kids that play outside." 

A few days later some things happened early in the morning which caused my husband and I to have an argument. We were loud and inconsiderate at a very early hour, and I can fully understand her being pissed that we woke her up. But she called our house, and when I apologized to her she asked me three different times if I needed her to "call the police for" me. I told her no, thank you for your concern. We're loud, but not violent. I apologized again, and husband and I cooled down. 

Since then we've done everything we can to be polite and friendly with her.

Sunday night, my roommate and I got into a minor argument because of the fucking dog that his daughter brought home. There was yelling and cussing. At 8pm for about 5-7 minutes. Then we were done. Laughing and smiling after that.

The bitch called the police on us.

The police came and asked if everything was ok. We told them what was going on, and even the cop rolled his eyes that she called. 

Yesterday I was standing on my porch allowing my son to go into our backyard to get his backpack. I was watching him, and I saw that she came pulling (like a bat out of hell) into our driveway. So I called out for the Boy to stop where he was and wait for her to park. She saw him, and pulled back OUT of the driveway, after she had already parked. Then she signalled for him to come across, so he did. He waited for her to park and when she got out he thanked her for letting him cross. 

She said "Oh, I would never ever ever EVER hurt you! I'm keeping an EYE OUT for you. And it's my JOB to protect you and keep you safe." 

She said a few other things, but they were all along the same lines. All the time she's glaring up at me on my porch.

No bitch, it's not your job to keep my son safe. You're a motherfucking STRANGER. We've known you for all of 2 weeks. It's MY JOB to keep my son safe, and it's your job to keep your nose out of my motherfucking business. <~~~ This is what I wanted to say. But I didn't. I was sweet and I called out "thank you" and she ignored me and walked into the house. 

The dog is out of our home now, and that is going to greatly diminsh the stress we've all been under. But I do not want to live somewhere where this woman is going to call the police whenever someone says fuck a little too loud for her liking.

Someone tell me how to deal with her politely, but still draw the line, especially when it comes to my son? 

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by on Oct. 9, 2012 at 10:42 AM
Replies (11-20):
catrig
by Platinum Member on Oct. 9, 2012 at 11:04 AM

I can understand her concern.  I think you might have to sit down with her and deal with this.

rgba
by Ruby Member on Oct. 9, 2012 at 11:07 AM
2 moms liked this
Annie, I've always liked you here on CM, but I have to agree.
Put yourself in her shoes; why is anyone yelling and cursing loud enough to wake the neighbors so early?

I do think she overreacted. But if you are looking for the best course of action, try to stop yelling. It sounds like your husband can't help it. But you can...


Quoting Anonymous:

Your home is full of people screaming at one another, aspergers or not, it's unacceptable. She's scared for the kids, make the fighting/yelling/screaming stop and the police won't have to be called. Obviously I don't know you personally but the entire post is filled with stories of the people in your home freaking out and swearing/screaming at one another. If the kids are there to see/hear this, I completely get why she's concerned. It probably sounds like you're being abused on her side of the wall.


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auntietotty
by Ruby Member on Oct. 9, 2012 at 11:08 AM
1 mom liked this

If I was a new neighbor and all I heard right off the bat was a bunch of screaming and fighting...I'd be concerned too. Especially if there was a child in the mix.

shivasgirl
by Platinum Member on Oct. 9, 2012 at 11:08 AM

OMG why??? The town my mom lives in is awesome,so relaxed, not a spring break destination,close to Tampa,pretty strong pagan community...beach....

Quoting AnnieMcD:

 Fuck that, I am never moving to FL. And I have lots of friends there. No way.

Quoting shivasgirl:

you need tomove...go to Florida, I will be there as soon as I get out of school

 


Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Oct. 9, 2012 at 11:08 AM

Yeah, Florida sucks. Can't wait to get out of here.
I would explain to your neighbor that you're having a stressful week and that she doesn't need to call 911 everytime she hears yelling. Tell her your concerns over her nosiness and overreaction. And if she doesn't take the hint, tell her to MHOB.

Quoting AnnieMcD:

 Fuck that, I am never moving to FL. And I have lots of friends there. No way.

Quoting shivasgirl:

you need tomove...go to Florida, I will be there as soon as I get out of school

 


AnnieMcD
by on Oct. 9, 2012 at 11:08 AM

Thanks. I was planning on going down there today and apologizing for the recent argument, and letting her know that the main source of stress in our home is gone now. Now that the puppy is gone, there won't be any more arguments about that. 

I also think that I've finally impressed upon husband that no matter how meltdown-ish he feels, he needs to lower his volume. 

I don't really have a problem with her being upset at us, and I could give a fuck if she likes us, it was just her snarky remarks to my son that got to me. 

Quoting Babujai:

 Unfortunately you only get one chance at a first impression.  It'll take time and a lot of positive/peaceful experiences to counteract her first impression of your household.  You can't change her thoughts/actions, just yours.  Try to accept that you guys haven't shown her your best selves and then hit restart on your own actions.  Try to forget the calls to the police, snide remarks and ugly looks and treat her like she's the best neighbor ever.  Eventually you'll win her over...or you won't.  If you don't, at least you'll know YOU did everything you could.


Whether you're pagan or not, you'll love all of the cool recipes, crafts, and coloring pages in this group! Join Us! And don't forget to say I sent you! 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Oct. 9, 2012 at 11:10 AM

I just wanted to say I like your picture of Shiva and your profile background wallpaper of Krishna. :)

Quoting shivasgirl:

OMG why??? The town my mom lives in is awesome,so relaxed, not a spring break destination,close to Tampa,pretty strong pagan community...beach....

Quoting AnnieMcD:

 Fuck that, I am never moving to FL. And I have lots of friends there. No way.

Quoting shivasgirl:

you need tomove...go to Florida, I will be there as soon as I get out of school

 



AnnieMcD
by on Oct. 9, 2012 at 11:10 AM

I agree completely. 

Quoting AubreeGrace17:

I think if you guys can stop being loud a lot of your problems will go away.


Whether you're pagan or not, you'll love all of the cool recipes, crafts, and coloring pages in this group! Join Us! And don't forget to say I sent you! 

gardengirl23
by Bronze Member on Oct. 9, 2012 at 11:11 AM

You sound like your life is out of control.  You make a lot of excuses for things as if you can just explain them away.  She isn't holier than thou.  She's got her shit together.

AnnieMcD
by on Oct. 9, 2012 at 11:12 AM

Oh, I agree too. I can completely see where she's coming from. My big issue is her remarks to my son. As for her being pissed at us yelling at 7am, yeah, I would have been super pissed too, so I get that. But calling the police after a 5 minute argument? Telling my son that it's her job to keep him safe and that she's "keeping an eye out for him" ... IDK, it just rubs me the wrong way. 

Quoting rgba:

Annie, I've always liked you here on CM, but I have to agree.
Put yourself in her shoes; why is anyone yelling and cursing loud enough to wake the neighbors so early?

I do think she overreacted. But if you are looking for the best course of action, try to stop yelling. It sounds like your husband can't help it. But you can...


Quoting Anonymous:

Your home is full of people screaming at one another, aspergers or not, it's unacceptable. She's scared for the kids, make the fighting/yelling/screaming stop and the police won't have to be called. Obviously I don't know you personally but the entire post is filled with stories of the people in your home freaking out and swearing/screaming at one another. If the kids are there to see/hear this, I completely get why she's concerned. It probably sounds like you're being abused on her side of the wall.



Whether you're pagan or not, you'll love all of the cool recipes, crafts, and coloring pages in this group! Join Us! And don't forget to say I sent you! 

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