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Someone help me figure out how to deal with this politely, before I have to slap a birch.

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As some of you may remember we have a new neighbor. I started off relations with her by introducing myself, and then advising her that my husband has Asperger's and that sometimes he "melts down". He's never violent, but he yells. Loudly. 

She said she used to be a nurse, and that she understood perfectly. 

Her first weekend here she invited my son and me to come outside and play with her and her granddaughter. She was nice enough, but made several comments which got under my skin. Very condescending, holier than thou comments, including telling my son "These kids don't know what Angry Birds is, these are kids that play outside." 

A few days later some things happened early in the morning which caused my husband and I to have an argument. We were loud and inconsiderate at a very early hour, and I can fully understand her being pissed that we woke her up. But she called our house, and when I apologized to her she asked me three different times if I needed her to "call the police for" me. I told her no, thank you for your concern. We're loud, but not violent. I apologized again, and husband and I cooled down. 

Since then we've done everything we can to be polite and friendly with her.

Sunday night, my roommate and I got into a minor argument because of the fucking dog that his daughter brought home. There was yelling and cussing. At 8pm for about 5-7 minutes. Then we were done. Laughing and smiling after that.

The bitch called the police on us.

The police came and asked if everything was ok. We told them what was going on, and even the cop rolled his eyes that she called. 

Yesterday I was standing on my porch allowing my son to go into our backyard to get his backpack. I was watching him, and I saw that she came pulling (like a bat out of hell) into our driveway. So I called out for the Boy to stop where he was and wait for her to park. She saw him, and pulled back OUT of the driveway, after she had already parked. Then she signalled for him to come across, so he did. He waited for her to park and when she got out he thanked her for letting him cross. 

She said "Oh, I would never ever ever EVER hurt you! I'm keeping an EYE OUT for you. And it's my JOB to protect you and keep you safe." 

She said a few other things, but they were all along the same lines. All the time she's glaring up at me on my porch.

No bitch, it's not your job to keep my son safe. You're a motherfucking STRANGER. We've known you for all of 2 weeks. It's MY JOB to keep my son safe, and it's your job to keep your nose out of my motherfucking business. <~~~ This is what I wanted to say. But I didn't. I was sweet and I called out "thank you" and she ignored me and walked into the house. 

The dog is out of our home now, and that is going to greatly diminsh the stress we've all been under. But I do not want to live somewhere where this woman is going to call the police whenever someone says fuck a little too loud for her liking.

Someone tell me how to deal with her politely, but still draw the line, especially when it comes to my son? 

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by on Oct. 9, 2012 at 10:42 AM
Replies (131-140):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 20 on Oct. 9, 2012 at 4:00 PM
You sound like a bunch of lunatics. I would be scared for your son too.
And what's with the roommate and dd? How many people are in your house?
bellawomen
by Summer on Oct. 9, 2012 at 4:03 PM

I feel differently.  The only reason I even knew I had new neighbors below us was because I heard them fighting like hell.  It got REALLY hot and heavy, so I called the cops.  I will NOT be intervening into someone's argument.  I am very glad I did because it turns out the woman is the manager's sister.  Can you imagine the issues I would have on my hands if they knew *I* was the one who called on them.  I have the right to live here without being disturbed by my neighbors and the laws are there to protect my right to report anonymously to keep myself protected.  One time I called, of of the women (lesbian couple) was arrested for pouring hot oil on the other.  I am glad I do not have to deal with a shit storm from my apartment manager knowing I called the cops.

Quoting Anonymous:

Apartment living... She has only been there a couple weeks and has already called the cops. Sorry but people have bad days. Unless she heard someone be hit or something thrown she should have just told them to quiet down if it didn't help then call the police.


msjaxon
by Platinum Member on Oct. 9, 2012 at 4:05 PM
1 mom liked this
Congrats.... Freedom of speech doesn't give complete autonomy. You can't use free speech to harass others, yell fire in a public place, make threats, incite others to violence. Shameful how many adults need a simple civics lesson.

Quoting Anonymous:

Freedom of speech lady.



Quoting msjaxon:

Please link me to this bill of rights you are getting your information from. "land of the free" doesn't give us complete autonomy.





Have an argument live dysfunctionally all you want but the moment your problems extends beyond the walls of your home and disturbs others people can, should, and will call authorites.






Quoting Anonymous:

Screaming couples.... Goes under agruements... If they want to swear that is their business and their right.







Quoting msjaxon:

In which part of Iraq do you live?









I've lived in apartments for 10 years, including side by side duplex where when they walked down the stairs it sounded like someone was walking down my stairs. I've lived in up and down 2 family unit, high rise apartment complex, and the list goes on. Nope not once have I been woken up by screaming couples.... Crying babies, barking dogs, an alarm clock that wasn't mine, the sound of a vacuum, people walking overhead... Those are apartment noises..... Regular Foul mouth arguments not normal....










Quoting MusicMuse1991:

ffs it's obvious people don't know how to read

annie, the bitch lives right below you. if she can't handle the noise that comes with apartment living, she needs a new place.

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OliviasMommy611
by Silver Member on Oct. 9, 2012 at 4:08 PM
I don't blame the lady. Yelling isn't acceptable and the problem sounds like you not her.
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bellawomen
by Summer on Oct. 9, 2012 at 4:08 PM

I am not sure if her status as a mandated reporter continues if she doesn't keep up with her license.  I was under the impression that once a mandated reporter, always a mandated reporter.

Arguing and verbal disagreements are not required to be reported, but depending on the content, the tone of the agruments, and age of those involved it could fall under mandatory report needs.

Quoting AnnieMcD:

 She's not still a nurse, she "used to be" one. So she's no longer a mandated reporter. Also, the neighbor across the street IS currently a mandated reporter, and when I've discussed this with her she's said that if everything is verbal, there's no issue. It might be irritating, for all involved, including all of my neighbors, but it's not abuse.

Quoting bellawomen:

She's a mandated reporter likely and has to report anything she finds suspious. If there is that much fighting, screaming, etc, I would be calling too.

 


msjaxon
by Platinum Member on Oct. 9, 2012 at 4:08 PM
1 mom liked this
I'm glad you are. You are definitely taking opposing opinions in stride. Calm living is just good for the body. I hope things get better for you.

Quoting AnnieMcD:

 While, again, I understand and appreciate my neighbor's perspective on this, unless we're within the city's noise ordinance time, she really doesn't have any say in how loud we are. If she calls again, the police will come, once more, and ask us to keep it down. But at 8pm, or even 7:30 am, we're not breaking any laws.


We're working on correcting things in our home, and making sure that we all stop our destructive behavior. But that doesn't make her actions, or words to my son, right.


Quoting msjaxon:

Please link me to this bill of rights you are getting your information from. "land of the free" doesn't give us complete autonomy.

Have an argument live dysfunctionally all you want but the moment your problems extends beyond the walls of your home and disturbs others people can, should, and will call authorites.



Quoting Anonymous:

Screaming couples.... Goes under agruements... If they want to swear that is their business and their right.




Quoting msjaxon:

In which part of Iraq do you live?





I've lived in apartments for 10 years, including side by side duplex where when they walked down the stairs it sounded like someone was walking down my stairs. I've lived in up and down 2 family unit, high rise apartment complex, and the list goes on. Nope not once have I been woken up by screaming couples.... Crying babies, barking dogs, an alarm clock that wasn't mine, the sound of a vacuum, people walking overhead... Those are apartment noises..... Regular Foul mouth arguments not normal....







Quoting MusicMuse1991:


ffs it's obvious people don't know how to read


annie, the bitch lives right below you. if she can't handle the noise that comes with apartment living, she needs a new place.


 

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AnnieMcD
by Platinum Member on Oct. 9, 2012 at 4:12 PM

Three adults, and one child (mine) ... Roomie's kid doesn't live with us, she lives next door. And yeah, I know what we sound like, I'm working on it. 

Quoting Anonymous:

You sound like a bunch of lunatics. I would be scared for your son too.
And what's with the roommate and dd? How many people are in your house?


Whether you're pagan or not, you'll love all of the cool recipes, crafts, and coloring pages in this group! Join Us! And don't forget to say I sent you! 

AnnieMcD
by Platinum Member on Oct. 9, 2012 at 4:15 PM

Yelling may not be appropriate, but it is acceptable. I understand our part in the problem, and I don't deny it, but she's way overreacting. 

Quoting OliviasMommy611:

I don't blame the lady. Yelling isn't acceptable and the problem sounds like you not her.


Whether you're pagan or not, you'll love all of the cool recipes, crafts, and coloring pages in this group! Join Us! And don't forget to say I sent you! 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 21 on Oct. 9, 2012 at 4:15 PM

If I were her, I'd slap you.You are guys are completely disrespectful to your neighbors. I'd call the cops too. Maybe then you all would learn how to behave as adults?

AnnieMcD
by Platinum Member on Oct. 9, 2012 at 4:17 PM

Yeah. It's not like I'm blind, deaf, or stupid. I completely understand her POV. I just have gotten that "I'm better than you" vibe from her from the first moment. I'm a pretty good judge of character, and she definitely seems to be one of those people who's own life is a mess, but is out to save the world. 

I've had that verified by outside sources who know her as well (ah the joys of living in a small town) ... 

All I guess I can do is talk to her, let her know that I appreciate her concern, and try to be more courteous. And deal with it when Husband (inevitably) loses his shit again, and she once more feels the need to "protect" me. 

Quoting msjaxon:

I'm glad you are. You are definitely taking opposing opinions in stride. Calm living is just good for the body. I hope things get better for you.

Quoting AnnieMcD:

 While, again, I understand and appreciate my neighbor's perspective on this, unless we're within the city's noise ordinance time, she really doesn't have any say in how loud we are. If she calls again, the police will come, once more, and ask us to keep it down. But at 8pm, or even 7:30 am, we're not breaking any laws.


We're working on correcting things in our home, and making sure that we all stop our destructive behavior. But that doesn't make her actions, or words to my son, right.

Whether you're pagan or not, you'll love all of the cool recipes, crafts, and coloring pages in this group! Join Us! And don't forget to say I sent you! 

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