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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Someone help me figure out how to deal with this politely, before I have to slap a birch.

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As some of you may remember we have a new neighbor. I started off relations with her by introducing myself, and then advising her that my husband has Asperger's and that sometimes he "melts down". He's never violent, but he yells. Loudly. 

She said she used to be a nurse, and that she understood perfectly. 

Her first weekend here she invited my son and me to come outside and play with her and her granddaughter. She was nice enough, but made several comments which got under my skin. Very condescending, holier than thou comments, including telling my son "These kids don't know what Angry Birds is, these are kids that play outside." 

A few days later some things happened early in the morning which caused my husband and I to have an argument. We were loud and inconsiderate at a very early hour, and I can fully understand her being pissed that we woke her up. But she called our house, and when I apologized to her she asked me three different times if I needed her to "call the police for" me. I told her no, thank you for your concern. We're loud, but not violent. I apologized again, and husband and I cooled down. 

Since then we've done everything we can to be polite and friendly with her.

Sunday night, my roommate and I got into a minor argument because of the fucking dog that his daughter brought home. There was yelling and cussing. At 8pm for about 5-7 minutes. Then we were done. Laughing and smiling after that.

The bitch called the police on us.

The police came and asked if everything was ok. We told them what was going on, and even the cop rolled his eyes that she called. 

Yesterday I was standing on my porch allowing my son to go into our backyard to get his backpack. I was watching him, and I saw that she came pulling (like a bat out of hell) into our driveway. So I called out for the Boy to stop where he was and wait for her to park. She saw him, and pulled back OUT of the driveway, after she had already parked. Then she signalled for him to come across, so he did. He waited for her to park and when she got out he thanked her for letting him cross. 

She said "Oh, I would never ever ever EVER hurt you! I'm keeping an EYE OUT for you. And it's my JOB to protect you and keep you safe." 

She said a few other things, but they were all along the same lines. All the time she's glaring up at me on my porch.

No bitch, it's not your job to keep my son safe. You're a motherfucking STRANGER. We've known you for all of 2 weeks. It's MY JOB to keep my son safe, and it's your job to keep your nose out of my motherfucking business. <~~~ This is what I wanted to say. But I didn't. I was sweet and I called out "thank you" and she ignored me and walked into the house. 

The dog is out of our home now, and that is going to greatly diminsh the stress we've all been under. But I do not want to live somewhere where this woman is going to call the police whenever someone says fuck a little too loud for her liking.

Someone tell me how to deal with her politely, but still draw the line, especially when it comes to my son? 

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by on Oct. 9, 2012 at 10:42 AM
Replies (151-160):
AnnieMcD
by on Oct. 9, 2012 at 4:52 PM

Our house set-up is weird. There is a group driveway where a front yard would normally be. 

And thanks for your understanding. :o) 

Quoting bustybee:

quick question, why did your son have to cross her driveway to get into your back yard?

as for the yelling, I've been there. I even cuss at traffic if it pisses me off. tell you neighbour that she needs to be more respectful and needs to quit jumping to conclusions before she finds out the facts.


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AnnieMcD
by on Oct. 9, 2012 at 4:53 PM

LOL! I know we're "white trash" ... it's nothing to call the cops on. 

Quoting Anonymous:

I'm sure she think you guys are "ghetto", fight a lot, and she is concerned for your child. Screaming matches, much less two in the span of a few weeks, aren't a normal occurrence for any neighbors I've had. I'd feel worried for the children too.

Regardless nothing that you can say is likely to change her opinion, and is probably more likely to escalate the situation. Keep to yourself, don't go making scenes, and she'll move on to something else to worry about.


Whether you're pagan or not, you'll love all of the cool recipes, crafts, and coloring pages in this group! Join Us! And don't forget to say I sent you! 

702girly
by Gold Member on Oct. 9, 2012 at 4:54 PM
1 mom liked this

I'd just pretend I didn't notice that she was making condescending remarks and be super nice to her. 

Either she's socially awkward and doesn't realize she's being condescending so it isn't worth getting worked up over or she knows damn well what she's doing and if you take it genuinely and act touched that she cares so much, the guilt will eat at her and she'll start to feel like shit for it. 

It's always worked for me.

2love
by Silver Member on Oct. 9, 2012 at 4:55 PM
Well I know my remedy doesn't work for everyone but when I had a couple of shouting matches with my df when we moved in with each other, I told him to pack his shit if he couldn't talk in normal tones. Needless to say he's still here lol

Quoting AnnieMcD:

Yes. I understand that, that's why we're working on changing things. 

Quoting 2love:

You're kids are going to be so dysfunctional with all that yelling and cursing going on.


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bustybee
by Buzz Lightyear on Oct. 9, 2012 at 4:56 PM
1 mom liked this

ah, I see. Bitch should learn some manners too then. I mean if she was friggin parked, she should have stayed friggen parked. I mean, your child stopped and was waiting, and was even polite. I think your "dysfunctional family" is perfectly normal and functional. half these ladies play the "I'm better than you and can call you names" game.

Quoting AnnieMcD:

Our house set-up is weird. There is a group driveway where a front yard would normally be. 

And thanks for your understanding. :o) 

Quoting bustybee:

quick question, why did your son have to cross her driveway to get into your back yard?

as for the yelling, I've been there. I even cuss at traffic if it pisses me off. tell you neighbour that she needs to be more respectful and needs to quit jumping to conclusions before she finds out the facts.



Anonymous
by Anonymous 24 on Oct. 9, 2012 at 5:03 PM
1 mom liked this

I think you need to revisit who is the problem. She is a concerned neighbor within her full rights and by law a mandated reporter. She is not only doing her job but being a good person. Sure some of her comments are passive aggressive but she is standing strong to be there if your child needs her. She is a safe person. 

I respect that you are non violent but your language, the volume and the frequencies of disruption are not appropriate adult interaction. None of the incidences you reported above had to do with your husband's diagnosis. I think to correct the situation, you might want to get some counseling to learn better ways to handle disagreements. Not only to role model for your own children but also the roommate, his daughter and whomever else resides with you. 

To deal with the neighbor, fess up to being human and working on how you handle strife. No one is perfect but we all could use some improvement. Even if she turns out to be a nosy pain in the butt, you are still acting as a loud and vulgar cray-cray. 

helema24
by on Oct. 9, 2012 at 5:03 PM
1 mom liked this

 tell her back off and one more comment like that or call to the cops over what she KNOWS isnt a violent fight you will tell the police officer that you want to press harassment charges on her! and after the lecture tell her you would be happy to start over if she wants to otherwise you will be civil but not friendly to her!

power bitch slap internet

wife_and_mommy
by Bronze Member on Oct. 9, 2012 at 5:04 PM
1 mom liked this

stole the words right out of my mouth! 

Quoting -42-:

I didn't read that. I always vote 'slap a bitch' when it's a given option.


Anonymous
by Anonymous 25 on Oct. 9, 2012 at 5:25 PM
You said in another post that your husband has autism but he's not dx'd yet. Have you home dx'd him or something?
AnnieMcD
by on Oct. 9, 2012 at 5:35 PM

I said he doesn't have a formal diagnosis. When he was a child they had no idea what he had. He has been "informally" diagnosed by his sister who is a counselor. Additionally, he fits every single trait. Beyond that, both of his son's have it. 

Quoting Anonymous:

You said in another post that your husband has autism but he's not dx'd yet. Have you home dx'd him or something?


Whether you're pagan or not, you'll love all of the cool recipes, crafts, and coloring pages in this group! Join Us! And don't forget to say I sent you! 

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