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Someone help me figure out how to deal with this politely, before I have to slap a birch.

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As some of you may remember we have a new neighbor. I started off relations with her by introducing myself, and then advising her that my husband has Asperger's and that sometimes he "melts down". He's never violent, but he yells. Loudly. 

She said she used to be a nurse, and that she understood perfectly. 

Her first weekend here she invited my son and me to come outside and play with her and her granddaughter. She was nice enough, but made several comments which got under my skin. Very condescending, holier than thou comments, including telling my son "These kids don't know what Angry Birds is, these are kids that play outside." 

A few days later some things happened early in the morning which caused my husband and I to have an argument. We were loud and inconsiderate at a very early hour, and I can fully understand her being pissed that we woke her up. But she called our house, and when I apologized to her she asked me three different times if I needed her to "call the police for" me. I told her no, thank you for your concern. We're loud, but not violent. I apologized again, and husband and I cooled down. 

Since then we've done everything we can to be polite and friendly with her.

Sunday night, my roommate and I got into a minor argument because of the fucking dog that his daughter brought home. There was yelling and cussing. At 8pm for about 5-7 minutes. Then we were done. Laughing and smiling after that.

The bitch called the police on us.

The police came and asked if everything was ok. We told them what was going on, and even the cop rolled his eyes that she called. 

Yesterday I was standing on my porch allowing my son to go into our backyard to get his backpack. I was watching him, and I saw that she came pulling (like a bat out of hell) into our driveway. So I called out for the Boy to stop where he was and wait for her to park. She saw him, and pulled back OUT of the driveway, after she had already parked. Then she signalled for him to come across, so he did. He waited for her to park and when she got out he thanked her for letting him cross. 

She said "Oh, I would never ever ever EVER hurt you! I'm keeping an EYE OUT for you. And it's my JOB to protect you and keep you safe." 

She said a few other things, but they were all along the same lines. All the time she's glaring up at me on my porch.

No bitch, it's not your job to keep my son safe. You're a motherfucking STRANGER. We've known you for all of 2 weeks. It's MY JOB to keep my son safe, and it's your job to keep your nose out of my motherfucking business. <~~~ This is what I wanted to say. But I didn't. I was sweet and I called out "thank you" and she ignored me and walked into the house. 

The dog is out of our home now, and that is going to greatly diminsh the stress we've all been under. But I do not want to live somewhere where this woman is going to call the police whenever someone says fuck a little too loud for her liking.

Someone tell me how to deal with her politely, but still draw the line, especially when it comes to my son? 

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by on Oct. 9, 2012 at 10:42 AM
Replies (31-40):
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Oct. 9, 2012 at 11:21 AM
LOL


Quoting -42-:

I didn't read that. I always vote 'slap a bitch' when it's a given option.

AnnieMcD
by Platinum Member on Oct. 9, 2012 at 11:23 AM

Oh I certainly don't think I'm right.

I just think it's out of line to

a) make that snarky comment the first time she met my son.
b) call the police after a 5 minute argument between me and my roommate, and
c) talk to my son like I was beating him for fun or something. 


Quoting gardengirl23:

Then stop screaming for the world to hear and don't give them anything to judge. 

My dh and I have had screaming matches and if my neighbor called the cops on me I would be pissed and embarrassed but I wouldn't expect anyone to say I was in the right.  (and I have a lame ass nosy neighbor who I avoid)

Quoting AnnieMcD:

No, she really doesn't. And yeah, I make some excuses, and I have some reasons (there is a difference) ... But the last thing I need is some judgemental prick who thinks that because things aren't perfect in our home, that we must be a terrible family. 

Quoting gardengirl23:

You sound like your life is out of control.  You make a lot of excuses for things as if you can just explain them away.  She isn't holier than thou.  She's got her shit together.




Whether you're pagan or not, you'll love all of the cool recipes, crafts, and coloring pages in this group! Join Us! And don't forget to say I sent you! 

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Oct. 9, 2012 at 11:23 AM
1 mom liked this

If you hear her speak to him like that again, politely thank her for her concern but remind her that she is a stranger to him, not an authority figure in his life. Tell her that you are more than capeable of taking care of your own child.


As far as the  arguing and cussing.. remember you have neighbors and try to be a bit more considerate if you don't want those police visits.

mamadolce
by on Oct. 9, 2012 at 11:24 AM
slap the birch its a tree right? Lmao jk i read your post . You cannot please everyone so id tell her whatever is on your mind . Why hold back? And does her granddaughter live with her? Maybe her grandkid was abused and seems to think your family is dysfucntional.. Idk
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Anonymous
by Anonymous on Oct. 9, 2012 at 11:25 AM

Whether she knows you or not, she has heard fights with two separate people in your home.  I am glad you recognize this and are going to make a change.  

If I were in her shoes, I would have done the same thing.  She is in fear for your kids.  I understand your frustration, but be thankful that she cares enough to look out for your son.

I don't really understand her atitude toward you, though, if she thinks you are being abused.  I guess I would have to have heard the fight to know who came out sounding worse on her end.

mamadolce
by on Oct. 9, 2012 at 11:26 AM
Dysfunctional i can spell lol


Quoting mamadolce:

slap the birch its a tree right? Lmao jk i read your post . You cannot please everyone so id tell her whatever is on your mind . Why hold back? And does her granddaughter live with her? Maybe her grandkid was abused and seems to think your family is dysfucntional.. Idk

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Anonymous
by Anonymous on Oct. 9, 2012 at 11:27 AM
1 mom liked this
Tell her to mind her own damn business, seriously.! She's not paying your bills and let her call the popos they will start to know she's over reacting.
mommy_me
by ~The Three B's~ on Oct. 9, 2012 at 11:27 AM

 I understand why she called and why she is concerned. Like you said, she doesnt know you. She doesnt know if you are good or bad people and she is looking out for your child.

If it were the other way around and she came on her to make a post people would be applauding her for calling the cops and making sure your child is safe

AnnieMcD
by Platinum Member on Oct. 9, 2012 at 11:27 AM
1 mom liked this

I get her perspective, I just think she's vastly overreacting. The lady across the street works for the county. She's a mandated reporter, and she and I have discussed my situation several times. She's been helpful and kind and understanding. She's taken the time to get to know us, and when we're out of line she speaks to us. 

She's never spoken to my son like he's being abused, and she's never called the police on us. 

And no, the yelling was entirely between my roommate and myself. His daughter wasn't even home, and my son was in the other room playing on the kindle with his headphones in. 

Quoting mamakin616:

You said she was a nurse right???So just imagine the things that  she sees. Thats why she asked you so many times during the phone call if you needed her to call the police...she was trained to do that.Everytime I go to the doctor they ask me if I am in danger from anyone in my home. It's her instinct kicking in from what she heard and she has seen alot I'm sure from Domestic Violence coming into where ever she works.You also said that you all had an arguement because your roommates daughter brought home a dog...how old is she and was she yelled at ?? If the girl was yelled at for bringinghome a dog maybe she thought it was a bit too much or too harsh on the kid if there was a lot of swearing .


Whether you're pagan or not, you'll love all of the cool recipes, crafts, and coloring pages in this group! Join Us! And don't forget to say I sent you! 

FitMom2025
by on Oct. 9, 2012 at 11:27 AM

I agree she shouldn't be making comments like that to your son.  i don't agree with the rest.  I've called the police on neighbors who yell and scream like crazy who DON'T have kids.  If they're yelling loud enough to wake me up, that's bullshit.  There's a kid in your home...if she can hear you screaming and cursing, what is your child hearing?  How loud is it for him, and how do you think it's affecting him?  I'd be calling, and I wouldn't feel bad about it at all.

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