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*ETA*My confession: My baby was born "early" on purpose.

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post
My DS is now 6 months old and this is the first time I've ever admitted this; he was 4 weeks early and I made myself go into labor. He's my 2nd, and I was 36 weeks. I was miserable, HUGE, I was already 2 cm dilated and 70% effaced at my OB appt the day before I decided to drink castor oil. OB said it was probably going to be weeks before DS was here, but my body could just tell he was ready. I'd been having contractions off and on for weeks. I'd heard about it, and after doing some research online, I figured what the hell. I got off work, bought some castor oil, mixed 2oz of it with 4 oz of orange juice and slammed it. Worst thing I've ever tasted.

I started having strong contractions about 4 hours later, and about 16 hours later I was holding my perfectly healthy, 8 lb 1 oz baby boy!

OB said I was lucky to not have gone another 4 weeks or he'd have been over 10 lbs and I wouldn't have been able to deliver vaginally. She's pretty sure they had my due date wrong.

I know it's stupid to rush your baby's birth and I don't suggest or recommend it to ANYONE. My husband still has no idea I did the castor oil.

There. There's my confession.

ETA; Because I'm not going to explain it 60 times, my OB didn't say it was IMPOSSIBLE to deliver a 10 lb baby. I'm well aware women do it all the time. However, *I* do not have a wide enough birth canal to barely accommodate an 8 lb baby, let alone 10 lbs. At 8 lbs 1 oz, delivery tore my pelvic floor muscle, tore my rectal muscle, I needed 40+ stitches, and broke my sons collar bone on the way out. My OB said had he gone another 4 weeks, I *PROBABLY* would've ended up with an emergency C section.
So I repeat, she never once told me no one in the history of the world has ever delivered a 10 lb baby, regardless of YOUR stature, YOUR experience, what you, your sister, your husbands long lost cousin was only 5'0" 90 lbs and gave birth to a 13 lb baby. Every woman's body is different and it makes me sad for the female race that this has to be explained.
Posted by Anonymous on Oct. 9, 2012 at 7:16 PM
Replies (781-790):
noble427
by on Oct. 13, 2012 at 1:06 AM
Quoting Anonymous:




Are you PMSing? Or just a really defensive bitch 24/7?

And if you saw my pic, that's my husband. Fucking idiot.

And I have not ever torn in any of my labors. Or had bad experiences. Pregnant with number 3 right now.

Pregnancy%20ticker

ChibiMarronChan
by on Oct. 13, 2012 at 3:49 AM

Okay! So you completely proved my point :)

Quoting Anonymous:

1-If you push too early (I believe it's before 7 cm but don't quote me on that cause I know you can safely push before 10) it will harm the baby.

2-It's NORMAL for the heart rate to drop during a contraction!!!

3-By late you mean 43.5 weeks, right? Cause TRUE late is AFTER 42 weeks

Quoting ChibiMarronChan:

You know every woman is different. For me and my son 8lbs 1oz was too big! His head coned more than normal because he was trying to get out, but I was not dialating enough to be able to get him out and when there started being problems with his heart beat with every contraction, the best decision for me and for him was a c-section. I wasn't tricked into anything...I wanted my baby to be healthy and alive no matter what that meant. And no...8lbs 1oz is not too big for some women...you're right...but for me and the fact that I wouldn't dialate, it was too big. He was also a week and a half late.

Quoting Anonymous:

8 lbs 1 oz is NOT too big. I'm sorry you were lied to and tricked into a section =(

Quoting ChibiMarronChan:

I'm pretty sure castor oil is a wives tale. My baby was 8lbs 1oz also! But I had to have a c-section because I actually couldn't push him out...he was too big. I'm pretty sure castor oil can have some consequences though and doctors don't recommend it. I think it can cause the baby to poop while in the womb and then he's swimming in poo and breathing it so it's not healthy for him...it can cause issues. Thankfully that didn't happen for you, but just saying it so other people don't get the idea to do it. I get it...my little man held on until 41 1/2 weeks...its hard when you just want them out, but don't want to give people the idea that they should do something that could be bad for their babies health.





trese210
by on Oct. 13, 2012 at 1:09 PM

Your edit was awesome and thanks so much for it I have not read any of the comments on here but you are 100% correct our bodies are different. I have given birth 4 times and not 1 of them were the same.   Very brave,  I am glade everything was good with baby and no complications.

sarahtaylor07
by on Oct. 13, 2012 at 8:45 PM
Castor oil WILL NOT make u go into labor unless your body is basically ready. Otherwise, it will just give u bad diarrhea. Maybe your dates were off?
Anonymous
by Anonymous 131 on Oct. 14, 2012 at 4:05 PM

I can honestly say I am not innocent of something like that myself. I hate the feeling of pregnancy and I put myself in labor with my youngest. I did the castor oil thing and it did not work, so I have to honestly say that I master baited and stimutaed my self everychance I could so that my contractions were to strong for them to send me home when I went in. Wrong, I know but I was feeling the same way as you at 36 weeks. They went ahead and enduced me and she came out a heathly 7 pounds 6 oz on December 10th and now that I am preganent again I am trying my hardest not to go there again. No one knows that and I am so happy to get that out.

momkelly2
by on Oct. 15, 2012 at 11:35 AM

First of all... all I wanted was to comfort a woman who made a choice.     and likely a good choice for herself.  

secondly... I DID NOT FORCE MY BABIES TO BE BORN EARLY!!!!     and breech can be a safe option but it is not always a safe option!! in my case it would have caused death of one or both of us.   

for both of my babies, My water broke..  and I went into labor early!  I did not Force them outl.

 I didn't go into detail initially...  .. but I   was born bicornuate..fully bicornuate... which means I had two uteri, two cervices and two vaginas.   what I didn't know until my bits were removed 2 years ago(Cancer btw) was there was a twist.   the left uterus went to the right cervix.. and the right uterus went to the left cervix.  So you might say My circumstances are a bit different than most women.

so  I had issues.   my DD being breech WAS GOD's BLESSING!!!  When I had my hysterectomy which, by the way I went through menopause naturally no drugs.. no hormones...  nothing... I planed on keeping my parts   nearly bled out one month; kind of Peri menopause hell for 3 yrs before my cycles stopped... but refused to go to the dr over it because I was    trying to stay drug free and do it the natural way..  and knew they would recommend a hysterectomy.    3years after I was menopausal   ...  well,  all I can say is, Cancer does rule some times.

as for breech being safe.. they do not take the chance that the baby comes part way and the cervix doesn't let the the shoulders and head out.      the baby can suffocate before they can retrieve the baby.      but that all aside... with the twist in my uteri.  my Current dr said that it was a good choice not to have delivered because I would have lost either the baby... myself or both of us had I ever tried to deliver.    so I am saying my instincts and my choice was right for me and the two incredible kids that I have raised.  

I did not deliver early on purpose..   my kids came 4 weeks early  and I didn't want them early..   in fact I was pretty determined to have dd as close to her due date as possible.    because I have two uteri .. they are actually two halves of a whole..   and so the stress to carry one child for me was the same as a woman carrying twins...  because there is less room..  they come early.   BTW....  NO struggles. no issues.. no health issues..  NOTHING..  perfectly healthy kids.. and intelligent adults.   

as for my  cousin's baby.. that story is reality..   it is what happened..  and it took over a year for her to get back to some sense of normal..  and I am not talking pre baby weight... she suffered for a long time as she had to recover from all she had been through..  She didn't complain but you could see  it in her.   She and baby are fine now...  but she paid for having the baby late... 

 and yes there are women who can deliver 10lb babies..  there are also women who can't deliver 8lb babies.   my SIL is one who could not..   both boys taken by c-section after she tried for two days...  

so really do you know so very much? wake up.. yes some women jump to soon...  some drs advise to quickly,  to an alternative measure...    but for some of us it is life saving....     and why should a woman be torn or grossly manipulated .. because someone thinks it is better to come naturally...    you do realize that women used to die  during child birth at an alarming rate in the past..     with that past I would likely have been one of those who didn't make it.    had it been and earlier century.

my SIL would have died with the baby inside of her....      and my cousin as well...   with modern medicine,  thank God they knew enough to save her and her  beautiful little girl..... but at one point  her husband was made to leave the room and didn't know if he would loose both of them..   

 and at 10lbs..  it is not really early..     and I would dub thee Saint ________    but you chose to be anonymous...        at least I'm not ashamed to post my real name.

 

Quoting Anonymous:

WTF so because baby is premature lets GUARANTEE her to have a rough start by FORCING her out early??? And you know, breech is a safe option!!!

Just because a baby is over 10 lbs doesn't mean they have to do all that crap. My gosh, you two are easily manipulated!!

Quoting momkelly2:

honey...  not that c-sections are all bad had two of them.   and before anyone yells...   dd was premature and breach so automatic C-section.  DS was more of a choice.. but it was a gut choice....    20+ years later I found out had I tried to deliver either child vaginally one or both of us wouldn't be here today.   so DD being breach WAS God's blessing in more ways than one.

now as far as your child...  my cousin had a child that was over 10lbs...  the dr let her go too long.    she finally begged to have her membranes stripped.     she delivered the beautiful baby girl...  how ever...  inorder to deliver that child they dislocated the baby's shoulder, sent the dad from the room and had to warp her pelvis oval shape to get the baby out.   she had progressed too far to have a c-section. 

you did what you felt you needed to to.   not the best move in many cases... but what was needed for your own safety, and recovery.   had you had a 4lb...  6 weeks early child..  that would be one thing.   you had a fully developed child that needed to be born.  

mine were both 4 weeks early...   (not my choice by the way they both picked their birthdays on their own)   and they are fine healthy adults!!    they were early...   under 5lbs each...  but they were healthy with well developed lungs.      early is not always bad...   

and like I made a choice with DS...  you maded the choice you needed to make...   and by the sounds of it you made the right choice.        I carried a twinge of guilt for years that Maybe I should have tried to deliver DS...   but   when I had a hysterectomy a couple of years ago..... I found out there was a problem and that guilt is long gone.    it no longer haunts me.   and I feel so blessed that DD was premature and breech....     which set up the plan to have DS the sameway...  

Drop your guilt... enjoy your baby!!!!

 



  Catherine 
There is no MD after my name..  
 I am just a mom with years of experience raising ADHD kids.... LOL

Anonymous
by Anonymous 105 on Oct. 15, 2012 at 4:04 PM

First of all you simply said your babies were premature and breech and therefore implying that if one of those two things occur, everyone must have a c-section. Fix your wording and explain better next time.

You should educate yourself on how a baby breathes if you truly believe a baby can suffocate before being exposed to oxygen with no cord pinching. Going back to my original statement, breech is safe.

And finally, stop bringing up the "women died every day in the past" line. Historians are notorious for changing facts and everyone knows it's MUCH easier to talk about the negatives of something vs the positives. If it was so darn dangerous, we would have died out a long time ago.

Quoting momkelly2:

First of all... all I wanted was to comfort a woman who made a choice.     and likely a good choice for herself.  

secondly... I DID NOT FORCE MY BABIES TO BE BORN EARLY!!!!     and breech can be a safe option but it is not always a safe option!! in my case it would have caused death of one or both of us.   

for both of my babies, My water broke..  and I went into labor early!  I did not Force them outl.

 I didn't go into detail initially...  .. but I   was born bicornuate..fully bicornuate... which means I had two uteri, two cervices and two vaginas.   what I didn't know until my bits were removed 2 years ago(Cancer btw) was there was a twist.   the left uterus went to the right cervix.. and the right uterus went to the left cervix.  So you might say My circumstances are a bit different than most women.

so  I had issues.   my DD being breech WAS GOD's BLESSING!!!  When I had my hysterectomy which, by the way I went through menopause naturally no drugs.. no hormones...  nothing... I planed on keeping my parts   nearly bled out one month; kind of Peri menopause hell for 3 yrs before my cycles stopped... but refused to go to the dr over it because I was    trying to stay drug free and do it the natural way..  and knew they would recommend a hysterectomy.    3years after I was menopausal   ...  well,  all I can say is, Cancer does rule some times.

as for breech being safe.. they do not take the chance that the baby comes part way and the cervix doesn't let the the shoulders and head out.      the baby can suffocate before they can retrieve the baby.      but that all aside... with the twist in my uteri.  my Current dr said that it was a good choice not to have delivered because I would have lost either the baby... myself or both of us had I ever tried to deliver.    so I am saying my instincts and my choice was right for me and the two incredible kids that I have raised.  

I did not deliver early on purpose..   my kids came 4 weeks early  and I didn't want them early..   in fact I was pretty determined to have dd as close to her due date as possible.    because I have two uteri .. they are actually two halves of a whole..   and so the stress to carry one child for me was the same as a woman carrying twins...  because there is less room..  they come early.   BTW....  NO struggles. no issues.. no health issues..  NOTHING..  perfectly healthy kids.. and intelligent adults.   

as for my  cousin's baby.. that story is reality..   it is what happened..  and it took over a year for her to get back to some sense of normal..  and I am not talking pre baby weight... she suffered for a long time as she had to recover from all she had been through..  She didn't complain but you could see  it in her.   She and baby are fine now...  but she paid for having the baby late... 

 and yes there are women who can deliver 10lb babies..  there are also women who can't deliver 8lb babies.   my SIL is one who could not..   both boys taken by c-section after she tried for two days...  

so really do you know so very much? wake up.. yes some women jump to soon...  some drs advise to quickly,  to an alternative measure...    but for some of us it is life saving....     and why should a woman be torn or grossly manipulated .. because someone thinks it is better to come naturally...    you do realize that women used to die  during child birth at an alarming rate in the past..     with that past I would likely have been one of those who didn't make it.    had it been and earlier century.

my SIL would have died with the baby inside of her....      and my cousin as well...   with modern medicine,  thank God they knew enough to save her and her  beautiful little girl..... but at one point  her husband was made to leave the room and didn't know if he would loose both of them..   

 and at 10lbs..  it is not really early..     and I would dub thee Saint ________    but you chose to be anonymous...        at least I'm not ashamed to post my real name.


Quoting Anonymous:

WTF so because baby is premature lets GUARANTEE her to have a rough start by FORCING her out early??? And you know, breech is a safe option!!!

Just because a baby is over 10 lbs doesn't mean they have to do all that crap. My gosh, you two are easily manipulated!!

Quoting momkelly2:

honey...  not that c-sections are all bad had two of them.   and before anyone yells...   dd was premature and breach so automatic C-section.  DS was more of a choice.. but it was a gut choice....    20+ years later I found out had I tried to deliver either child vaginally one or both of us wouldn't be here today.   so DD being breach WAS God's blessing in more ways than one.

now as far as your child...  my cousin had a child that was over 10lbs...  the dr let her go too long.    she finally begged to have her membranes stripped.     she delivered the beautiful baby girl...  how ever...  inorder to deliver that child they dislocated the baby's shoulder, sent the dad from the room and had to warp her pelvis oval shape to get the baby out.   she had progressed too far to have a c-section. 

you did what you felt you needed to to.   not the best move in many cases... but what was needed for your own safety, and recovery.   had you had a 4lb...  6 weeks early child..  that would be one thing.   you had a fully developed child that needed to be born.  

mine were both 4 weeks early...   (not my choice by the way they both picked their birthdays on their own)   and they are fine healthy adults!!    they were early...   under 5lbs each...  but they were healthy with well developed lungs.      early is not always bad...   

and like I made a choice with DS...  you maded the choice you needed to make...   and by the sounds of it you made the right choice.        I carried a twinge of guilt for years that Maybe I should have tried to deliver DS...   but   when I had a hysterectomy a couple of years ago..... I found out there was a problem and that guilt is long gone.    it no longer haunts me.   and I feel so blessed that DD was premature and breech....     which set up the plan to have DS the sameway...  

Drop your guilt... enjoy your baby!!!!





Anonymous
by Anonymous 105 on Oct. 15, 2012 at 4:11 PM

No, I asked you questions and you dodged them. 

You didn't clarify if his heart rate went back up after contractions and didn't clarify if you were 41.5 weeks or 43.5 weeks

Quoting ChibiMarronChan:

Okay! So you completely proved my point :)

Quoting Anonymous:

1-If you push too early (I believe it's before 7 cm but don't quote me on that cause I know you can safely push before 10) it will harm the baby.

2-It's NORMAL for the heart rate to drop during a contraction!!!

3-By late you mean 43.5 weeks, right? Cause TRUE late is AFTER 42 weeks

Quoting ChibiMarronChan:

You know every woman is different. For me and my son 8lbs 1oz was too big! His head coned more than normal because he was trying to get out, but I was not dialating enough to be able to get him out and when there started being problems with his heart beat with every contraction, the best decision for me and for him was a c-section. I wasn't tricked into anything...I wanted my baby to be healthy and alive no matter what that meant. And no...8lbs 1oz is not too big for some women...you're right...but for me and the fact that I wouldn't dialate, it was too big. He was also a week and a half late.

Quoting Anonymous:

8 lbs 1 oz is NOT too big. I'm sorry you were lied to and tricked into a section =(

Quoting ChibiMarronChan:

I'm pretty sure castor oil is a wives tale. My baby was 8lbs 1oz also! But I had to have a c-section because I actually couldn't push him out...he was too big. I'm pretty sure castor oil can have some consequences though and doctors don't recommend it. I think it can cause the baby to poop while in the womb and then he's swimming in poo and breathing it so it's not healthy for him...it can cause issues. Thankfully that didn't happen for you, but just saying it so other people don't get the idea to do it. I get it...my little man held on until 41 1/2 weeks...its hard when you just want them out, but don't want to give people the idea that they should do something that could be bad for their babies health.






Anonymous
by Anonymous 105 on Oct. 15, 2012 at 4:14 PM

No, good thing it's not my baby, cause then I don't have the added stress of them ending up in NICU cause they were induced too early for NON medical reasons.

But ya, good thing it's not my body, cause non medically necessary inductions double your chances of a c-section. I don't want my body sliced and diced thanks

Quoting Anonymous:

I don't really care what you're "sick of hearing", tbqh. Good thing its not your body.

Quoting Anonymous:

If that were truly the case, that your son was ready, you would have been in labor before the castor oil

I'm so sick of hearing "baby was ready so we induced" BS

Quoting Anonymous:

While I realize there are nearly 700 replies, I've already addressed this. I did not have an epidural. I didn't have one with either my DD or DS. I'm allergic to most narcotics as well, so the only pain relief I had was a shot of morphine when I got to 9cm and it made me throw up for the rest of my labor. I pushed when I had contractions, I wasn't "yelled at" to do anything.



I don't know what it is about this forum that thinks they know so much more than medical professionals and that you're basically a moron to trust doctors. My doctor was fucking wonderful! I had complete say in every step of my care.



If you'd read my entire post, you'd realize I drank the castor oil due to MY listening to MY body, MY intuition to me he was ready, that my body was ready. I was uncomfortable, yes, but that is NOT why I chose to "get a jump start".



It's probably pretty lonely up there on your high horse. Enjoy that.





Quoting Anonymous:

Everyones body is perfectly designed for labor, UNLESS you were in an accident that harmed your pelvis.

You and your doc is an idiot. I'm willing to venture (although you'll probably deny it) that the reason why you ripped so badly was because you pushed without the help of your body. You probably had an epidural and was yelled at when to push. THIS is what happens...you rip. Badly.

You should feel lucky your baby didn't have a bowel movement. Otherwise you wouldn't be so smug about how wonderful castor oil was to 'help' you get over YOUR misery. Screw the baby. Clearly it was about you.
 







Anonymous
by Anonymous 132 on Oct. 15, 2012 at 4:16 PM
Idk. I'm a firm believer in waiting Til your body is ready. Even if your ob got ur due date wrong, you wouldve went into labor early on your own anyway. No one has been pregnant forever. I know u said your son was big, but that doesn't mean he was going to stay in your womb for weeks more just getting bigger abd bigger. Your body would've done its thing if you gave it a chance.
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