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Your dh has been having a 2 year affair.

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

 If you were the wife, would you want to know?  I was involved with a married man for 2 years and yes, I know it was wrong.  I fell for the entire story of "I love you" and am divorcing my wife.  I do believe he isn't in love with her anymore because I'm somewhat close to the family and know they've had problems for years, but I guess he can't decide if he wants a divorce.  Part time with the kids and paying tons of child support weighs on his mind.  Anyway, his wife found out but there is a lot she doesn't know.  She asked me questions and I lied to protect him.  But the guilt is weighing on me and I feel like it would be best to get it all off my chest, and for her to know the truth about how deep our affair was.  She has no idea that we took trips together and have been having sex for almost the entire time.  He convinced her it was all emotional, and that's it.  Should I tell her?  Would you want to know? 

Posted by Anonymous on Oct. 10, 2012 at 9:15 PM
Replies (61-70):
by on Oct. 10, 2012 at 9:32 PM
1 mom liked this

I'd want to know. I also think you should stop being a whore. It's absolutely revolting for anyone to sleep with a married person. fucked up do you have to be to even start something like that?!?

by Platinum Member on Oct. 10, 2012 at 9:33 PM


Quoting GLO682:

It's different if she was being a friend and telling her about her husbands indiscretions however she is the one fucking him. Big difference.

Quoting Armymom134:


Quoting GLO682:

You wouldn't be doing her any favor by telling her what her husband did with you. If you had any respect for her as a woman you wouldn't have been sleeping with her husband for two years. Stay out of their marriage or what's left of it. Let them figure things out on their own.

Quoting Anonymous:


Quoting GLO682:

I would want to know but it isn't your place to tell her.

 That's what I've always told myself.  I'd always let him deal with it, but I know he won't tell her. 

 You know, I was that wife who didn't know what was going on because no one thought they should speak up about my ex husband sleeping with other women while he was serving over seas. And everytime the wives would talk to me they would just say a few nice words and then walk away, I knew something was up and when I actually found out, by pictures none the less, I was actually pissed because no one thought I would want to know...seriously, if my husband was stepping out on our marriage your damn right I want to know about it. Sad enough to say I never talked to those women again.

Yes tell her, because honestly, she deserves to know.

 Reguardless, I would want to know, even if its from the mistress.

by Anonymous 13 on Oct. 10, 2012 at 9:33 PM
3 moms liked this
You only want to come clean for your own conscience, my opinion you need to suck it up. Living with guilt is part of knowing you were wrong in sleeping with a married man and allowing it to continue. The wife knows leave her to figure out how she wants to handle her life and marriage.
by Gabriella (: on Oct. 10, 2012 at 9:33 PM
I'd want to know
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
by on Oct. 10, 2012 at 9:33 PM
2 moms liked this

 I wouldn't care at that point an immediate divorce would take place and YOU can have him.

 If any woman believes "ITS EMOTIONAL" and ONLY EMOTIONAL"........ IT IS BULLSHIT!

by on Oct. 10, 2012 at 9:33 PM

Tell her. You don't have to get into all of the gritty details, just state facts.

by on Oct. 10, 2012 at 9:33 PM

 I don't know, if she is low enough to do the deed then she should be woman enough to fess up to if when the other woman asks. I wouldn't suggest she go search this woman out and spill the beans if she didn't ask, but damn, she came to her, woman to woman and gave her a chance to open up about it but instead she lied. That's extra low. I mean, if you're ballsy enough to fuck my husband, then you should be able to answer some damn questions if I come knocking.

Quoting jamieharper08:

She didn't marry her!!!! 

Quoting im_not_trollin:

 How is it not her place to tell her when she specifically came to her and asked....

Quoting GLO682:

I would want to know but it isn't your place to tell her.



by Silver Member on Oct. 10, 2012 at 9:33 PM
She deserves the truth... it may hurt but she doesn't deserve to be lied to...
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
by on Oct. 10, 2012 at 9:33 PM

Yes, I'd want to know.  I'd like to say that I wouldn't blame you, that I'd just blame him, but given that you are close to the family...I'd bring back up.  It's just tough now, though, because you already lied to her, so if you are going to come clean then be prepared to answer all her questions.  I hope you do.  And I wouldn't worry about destroying their marriage.  He already did that (and will probably continue to do that when he has his next affair) and even if she never learns the whole truth, all the unanswered questions and suspicions will slowly drive her nuts.  I know it's hard, and she will probably hate you, but somewhere deep down, I think that at least some small part of her would be grateful.  I would've been.

by on Oct. 10, 2012 at 9:34 PM

Quoting Bknotnobody:

I'd want to know.
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