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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

So you don't cry it out.

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post
What about when the baby is older and not "crying" so much as "yelling in anger".

My dd is 14 months, she goes to sleep just fine in her crib but wakes up at least once. I come in with a sippy of water and leave the room. She throws a temper tantrum like when she's not allowed to play with something she wants. The longest it ever lasted was 15 minutes. Since that it has lessened to less than 2 minutes.


Honestly up until about a week and a 1/2 ago I would sit in there until she settled down,often falling asleep on the floor, but the second she heard a footstep she was up screaming. It was one night after playing this game from 2:30am to 4am that I had enough and just walked out, shut her door and laid in my bed across the hall. She screamed for all of 5 minutes before she was out without a peep until 7:45.

I was such a sucker giving into her tantrums. We all have gotten so much more sleep now that she is only yelling for one burst instead of repeatedly through the night.

Would you ladies have handled it any differently? Co-sleeping is out because she is a damn bed hog. :)
Posted by Anonymous on Oct. 11, 2012 at 12:35 AM
Replies (61-70):
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Oct. 11, 2012 at 11:52 AM
The bedtime routine is down pat. Its this midnight waking. I started the problem by being too lenient at night. She had to fall asleep in her bed but the second she made a peep I would take her into my bed, and when I realized that wasn't working, I was camped out on her floor. So then she was in her crib all night but only 1/2 sleeping because she was worried I was going to sneak away. Now she falls asleep in her crib, she knows shes expected to stay there until the sun comes up. She lets me know she's not happy about it but gives in and we all get the sleep we need.


Quoting weezer_cookie:

We don't CIO. My DD is a very physical child. She needs to feel the love, literally. For her, it is even worse if I would just walk away. Ive tried it, but i cant do it. She has genetic issues though, so she is not a developmentally typical child. In any case, we have a good bedtime routine. Bath, pjs, book, and then I rub her back until she falls asleep. It usually takes no more than 10 minutes. She is five. It is worth it for me for her to trust that I am there. She rarely gets up during the night.



My DS is still a nursling and we co sleep. So we snuggle all night. It works for us.

UgtaBkdnMe
by on Oct. 11, 2012 at 12:01 PM

As long as you know why she's freaking out I see nothing wrong with it. I'm an over coddler lol

Quoting Anonymous:

She yells exactly the same as when you take away a cell phone, or grab her away from the toilet. The I'm not getting my way scream. But she gets it just as quickly that screaming won't change bed time any more than it allows duckies in the potty. She just lays down butt in the air and sleeps.


Quoting UgtaBkdnMe:

I can't handle hearing my kids upset, unless I know it's just a senseless fit. My youngest is 4 and he's never cio. If he's upset I go see why and I fix it.



weezer_cookie
by Platinum Member on Oct. 11, 2012 at 12:15 PM
Oh i understand. My DD was at that point when she was about 18 months old. She ended up cosleeping with us for a few years. But we didn't mind. If you don't want to do that.. Well you just don't want to do it. I understand the frustration, exasperation, the exhaustion, the rage! But my DD is so different than a typical child. So what works for us doesn't necessarily work for others. I suppose I could be babying her, but to be honest, I don't care. She has all of this issues, and I'm not home as much as I would like. So I suppose there is some mommy guilt there too. In any case, do what works for you. Co sleeping works for us, but I understand it isn't for everyone.

Quoting Anonymous:

The bedtime routine is down pat. Its this midnight waking. I started the problem by being too lenient at night. She had to fall asleep in her bed but the second she made a peep I would take her into my bed, and when I realized that wasn't working, I was camped out on her floor. So then she was in her crib all night but only 1/2 sleeping because she was worried I was going to sneak away. Now she falls asleep in her crib, she knows shes expected to stay there until the sun comes up. She lets me know she's not happy about it but gives in and we all get the sleep we need.




Quoting weezer_cookie:

We don't CIO. My DD is a very physical child. She needs to feel the love, literally. For her, it is even worse if I would just walk away. Ive tried it, but i cant do it. She has genetic issues though, so she is not a developmentally typical child. In any case, we have a good bedtime routine. Bath, pjs, book, and then I rub her back until she falls asleep. It usually takes no more than 10 minutes. She is five. It is worth it for me for her to trust that I am there. She rarely gets up during the night.





My DS is still a nursling and we co sleep. So we snuggle all night. It works for us.

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itsm3
by Platinum Member on Oct. 11, 2012 at 1:13 PM

i sleep trained my kid.  kids learn fast what works and what doesn't.  newborns/babies shouldn't be sleep trained since they're still learning how to live in this world but i think it's ok when they are older babies and ok for toddlers.  as long as it's done correctly (ie you don't just shut the door and never go back in) and in a safe/loving way, it is ok.  my dd and every kid i know who was sleep trained have no "developemental" issues or issues with neglect.  all that stuff is just bullshit fear-mongering propaganda.


mamatocaleb
by Silver Member on Oct. 11, 2012 at 1:21 PM

 nothing wrong with CIO. Sometimes, it has to be done. I'd rather a mother use CIO at night than be so exhausted her kids are in danger because she overslept the next morning.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 10 on Oct. 11, 2012 at 1:23 PM

If my 3 yo is upset about something- hurt, sick, sad, we do not do CIO. If he is throwing a tantrum and yelling/crying because he is mad or angry- then he is ignored.

BrennaLyons
by on Oct. 11, 2012 at 1:25 PM

Crying it out at that age is perfectly acceptable. As long as it's yelling in anger or throwing fits, just let her scream it out. If you play her game, she gets the attention she wants and wins. Teach her screaming for attention or to get her way gets her nothing but a closed door. If she's sick or hurt, OTOH, it's an entirely different story.

jillianmayasmom
by Silver Member on Oct. 11, 2012 at 1:26 PM
My daughter is 17 months and I do the same thing. She rarely wakes up at night but, if she does, I go to her and hold her. She doesn't want to play-she is usually asleep again by the time her head hits my shoulder.

At bedtime, I rock her for 10 minutes. She usually falls asleep but, if she doesn't, I put her in her crib and she rarely cries. She is asleep within 10 minutes.


Quoting Danotoyou2:

My son is 16 months and has never CIO. If he's up in the night and wants me, I comfort him. I wont necessarily play with him or interact, but I'm there to hold him.



I was that way with my older kids too.... until preschool / kindergarten age.

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CrazyMommy247
by on Oct. 11, 2012 at 1:33 PM

Eh, I was against CIO until I actually had a baby lol. I did NOT do it when she was younger. But once she got old enough to throw tantrums, I got tired of the sleepless nights. When I started letting her cry (never for long) she started sleeping better and we were BOTH way happier. Yes, she was happier, I could tell. Some babies just need more structure and to understand what they're expected to do, which doesn't work when you go hang out with them, get them out of bed, play with them, etc. every time they cry.

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Oct. 11, 2012 at 1:36 PM
I'm hoping that soon she will stop waking. I created this mess.I'm hoping that soon she will just accept the change.


Quoting jillianmayasmom:

My daughter is 17 months and I do the same thing. She rarely wakes up at night but, if she does, I go to her and hold her. She doesn't want to play-she is usually asleep again by the time her head hits my shoulder.



At bedtime, I rock her for 10 minutes. She usually falls asleep but, if she doesn't, I put her in her crib and she rarely cries. She is asleep within 10 minutes.




Quoting Danotoyou2:

My son is 16 months and has never CIO. If he's up in the night and wants me, I comfort him. I wont necessarily play with him or interact, but I'm there to hold him.





I was that way with my older kids too.... until preschool / kindergarten age.


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