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teen moms, I have a question..

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 So, I had my son super young.  I got preggo at 14 and had him at 15.  I love my son dearly, and I wouldn't trade this life for anything in the world, but knowing what I know now I would have given adoption a better chance.  Although his life hasn't been a shitty one by any means, I wouldn't have been able to do any of it without the help of my dad, some great people at the daycare he went to, and really close friends.  And I know that if he had been adopted that he would have had a much more normal and stable life from the start. 

I dont regret my decision, but if I could go back in time and do it differently I would have considered it.

Do any of you feel the same way?

by on Oct. 11, 2012 at 1:09 AM
Replies (31-40):
manicMOM_DLC
by on Oct. 11, 2012 at 1:22 AM

youre right, of course.

im just saying i would have at least considered it.  I feel like I made the choice because I was selfish.  I kept him because I loved him dearly and I needed something to give me meaning in life. 

Quoting BelleVernonGirl:

You don't know for sure adoption would have been better...what if he was adopted to someone screwed up...EVERYTHING happens for a reason...If hes happy then your doing good!  I was 18 when I got preg and 19 when I had them..I wouldn't trade them for anything...I feel like they saved me


Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Oct. 11, 2012 at 1:25 AM
1 mom liked this
i thought about it esp bc she was concieved by rape. I had it all set up, even started helping find her a family and then told them i couldnt do it, that she was mine. It was weird bc it was something my grams had said that made me keep her. Now she is a healthy 6 yo and my world! She is also my lifesaver. I truly believe she was sent here to save me from myself. I had her 3 weeks exactly after i turned 17
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Oct. 11, 2012 at 1:27 AM
Lol....i think I know what you were trying to do there. But I just hope you realize that made no sense. At all .
They were teen moms because they were focused on petty shit? Lol
Have fun with what?
O and....I'm not very sweet. Like, at all.

Quoting MyLittlePwny:

I didn't know there were rules to bumping a post. Now I can see why some of you were teen moms. Too focused on the petty shit and not what's important. Have fun with that sweetie.



Quoting Anonymous:

Yea. A simple "bump" simply will not do.





Quoting MyLittlePwny:

I'll be sure to never help out a fellow mom and bump a post ever again! Damn me to hell.







Quoting moosesmom:

Well she did say she was 24 at the time...lol. I'm pretty sure she knew she wasn't a teen mom.









Quoting danichaos:

Well then you're not a teen mom then, aren't you??











Quoting MyLittlePwny:

No but I waited and had my first at 24. Here's a bump.
4everJs
by Silver Member on Oct. 11, 2012 at 1:28 AM

Had my first son when I was 18.  No regrets. 

legalmommy101
by on Oct. 11, 2012 at 1:28 AM

If you live your life by statistics, the stats also show that you would have had another child atleast two years after you relinquished your first that you would keep.

I'll show just throw this out there, did you know that the most notorious serial killers were adoptees?

Quoting manicMOM_DLC:

you're absolutely right.

but i did have him at 15.  30  days after my birthday.  statistically, he would have had a better life in adoption.  I will reiterate that I do not regret my choice, but knowing what I know now i woul dhave at least considered it.

Quoting legalmommy101:

No, and what makes you assume he would have had a more "normal and stable life" with someone else? You are his mother. Biologically, you are perfect to raise your OWN child. It's up to YOU what kind of life your child has. If you had given him up, you give up the power to make sure he has a good life. Not every child who is adopted has such a wonderful life. There are many, many cases of adoptive parents abusing their adopted children.



LadyDIN
by on Oct. 11, 2012 at 1:29 AM

True. Look at Sandusky. One of his victims was his own adopted son.

Quoting legalmommy101:

No, and what makes you assume he would have had a more "normal and stable life" with someone else? You are his mother. Biologically, you are perfect to raise your OWN child. It's up to YOU what kind of life your child has. If you had given him up, you give up the power to make sure he has a good life. Not every child who is adopted has such a wonderful life. There are many, many cases of adoptive parents abusing their adopted children.


Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
BelleVernonGirl
by Gold Member on Oct. 11, 2012 at 1:29 AM

Darlin that's not selfish...It would be selfish if you were a drug addict or whatever and couldn't care for him but wanted him anyways...You love him and you provide right?  So I don't think that's selfish.

Quoting manicMOM_DLC:

youre right, of course.

im just saying i would have at least considered it.  I feel like I made the choice because I was selfish.  I kept him because I loved him dearly and I needed something to give me meaning in life. 

Quoting BelleVernonGirl:

You don't know for sure adoption would have been better...what if he was adopted to someone screwed up...EVERYTHING happens for a reason...If hes happy then your doing good!  I was 18 when I got preg and 19 when I had them..I wouldn't trade them for anything...I feel like they saved me

 


manicMOM_DLC
by on Oct. 11, 2012 at 1:35 AM

that is not something i knew actually.

where do you guys get these fascinating facts.  i feel like stuff like this should be in text books lol.

that alone, it kind of makes me rethink my rethinking lol

Quoting legalmommy101:

If you live your life by statistics, the stats also show that you would have had another child atleast two years after you relinquished your first that you would keep.

I'll show just throw this out there, did you know that the most notorious serial killers were adoptees?

Quoting manicMOM_DLC:

you're absolutely right.

but i did have him at 15.  30  days after my birthday.  statistically, he would have had a better life in adoption.  I will reiterate that I do not regret my choice, but knowing what I know now i woul dhave at least considered it.

Quoting legalmommy101:

No, and what makes you assume he would have had a more "normal and stable life" with someone else? You are his mother. Biologically, you are perfect to raise your OWN child. It's up to YOU what kind of life your child has. If you had given him up, you give up the power to make sure he has a good life. Not every child who is adopted has such a wonderful life. There are many, many cases of adoptive parents abusing their adopted children.

 

 


legalmommy101
by on Oct. 11, 2012 at 1:44 AM

I've done research on adoption, abortion, child abuse, foster care children etc for my job. I'm not saying that adoption is a BAD thing. I will say that adoption is NOT always the best decision. Religious rights have glamorized adoption when there really is nothing to glamorize. Women who give their babies up for adoption are not "heroes" . They are simply women that made a choice to relinquish their child.

Adopted children are known to have severe psychological issues steming from their abandonment by birth parents. Reactive attachment disorder, adopted child syndrome, ODD, OCD, and childhood depression are all things that are common in adopted children.

Adoption is a wonderful thing when the mother didn't chose abortion and when she absolutely CAN NOT parent her child. Many times adoption is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.

Quoting manicMOM_DLC:

that is not something i knew actually.

where do you guys get these fascinating facts.  i feel like stuff like this should be in text books lol.

that alone, it kind of makes me rethink my rethinking lol

Quoting legalmommy101:

If you live your life by statistics, the stats also show that you would have had another child atleast two years after you relinquished your first that you would keep.

I'll show just throw this out there, did you know that the most notorious serial killers were adoptees?

Quoting manicMOM_DLC:

you're absolutely right.

but i did have him at 15.  30  days after my birthday.  statistically, he would have had a better life in adoption.  I will reiterate that I do not regret my choice, but knowing what I know now i woul dhave at least considered it.

Quoting legalmommy101:

No, and what makes you assume he would have had a more "normal and stable life" with someone else? You are his mother. Biologically, you are perfect to raise your OWN child. It's up to YOU what kind of life your child has. If you had given him up, you give up the power to make sure he has a good life. Not every child who is adopted has such a wonderful life. There are many, many cases of adoptive parents abusing their adopted children.





Thomasmom07
by on Oct. 11, 2012 at 1:47 AM
I had my ds at 19 and he was planned. I was young and stupid! My dh (at the time just my bf) and I just had got back together, we broke up over a bunch of stupid teenager stuff and he told me he was sorry and told me he wanted me to have his baby and wanted to be with me forever. Me being a stupid teenager thought this is perfect if I get pregnant and have his baby I will keep him forever and life would be PERFECT!!! Boy was I wrong!!!! We made it but It's been a long road of fighting arguing and splitting up. I love my dh and my ds with all my heart but Alot of times I wish we would have waited but I believe everything happens for a reason and we are happy now so that's all that matters!
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