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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Being a SAHM is NOT a career

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

 

Now don't get me wrong. I think it's wonderful for women to be able to stay home with their kids. It's important. I was raised by my grandmother, who was retired and home all the time. I was at home for 6 months with my first and I currently work part time. However, I do see something wrong if a SAHM does not have any prior job experience or a college education. It is so important for women to establish themselves in a career first, become financially independent, prior to becoming a wife and SAHM. Why be dependent on a man? I see so many young girls in our area who get married at 18 and have babies at 19, stay home, and have no way to support themselves when the man leaves. It's so sad. It's also important for a prior career woman to keep up with her skills while being a SAHM. You may eventually need to head back to work. Just had to vent this!

Posted by Anonymous on Oct. 11, 2012 at 1:40 PM
Replies (251-260):
GremlinMom
by on Oct. 15, 2012 at 2:19 PM
1 mom liked this
Because I'm not dependant on some man. My husband, best friend, and partner takes care of me and his children financially. Family is more important to us.
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LilyofPhilly
by Platinum Member on Oct. 15, 2012 at 2:28 PM
1 mom liked this

ITA. I was that SAHM that you are speaking of. I was 19 when I had my first child, married 2 months later, and had 4 kids by the time I was 27. I do not have a college degree, have not been to trade school, and essentially had no skills, no career experience, and wasn't even much of a homemaker.

Never mind if your husband dies or he leaves you, becoming a wife and mother before establishing myself as an adult left me in a child-like state for many years. It created resentment toward my husband, because I was totally dependent on him. I had low self-esteem, because I'd accomplished nothing tangible on my own. My whole sense of self worth was tied to my children, which was an awful burden for them to carry.

Long story short, I have now been working for about the past 4 years. I started off in retail part time, then full time, then got a management position. I left my last job and am now in commissioned sales. For the first time in my life, I am making a semi-livable wage, and feeling like I am contributing a significant amount financially for myself and my family. It's a good feeling. I enjoy working, being productive, and filling my days off with errands, housework, and enjoying myself.

I'm not going to say I regret being a SAHM. It allowed me to be close to my kids, homeschool, and not be dependent on daycare. I just should have had more balance and kept some sort of career options available to me over the years. It's really hard to start a career at 40.

alexsmomma06
by Platinum Member on Oct. 15, 2012 at 2:38 PM
I became a mother at 19, a SAHM at 21. I had training, 5 yrs of work experience by that time In my field. I took classes in HS to earn my certificate and started working at 16. Luckily, my field is one where there are always jobs available.

Even though our oldest wasn't planned, I always wanted children young. I didn't want to put my career ahead of my wants for a family. My mom was 39 when I was born and it was harder on her than her pregnancies were in her 20s and even raising/keeping up with little ones.

I do agree that it is best if a woman has some work experience before becoming a SAHM, but it isn't any of my business if they feel it isn't what is best for them.
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cdbla814
by on Oct. 25, 2012 at 1:55 AM

I agree girl. I am currently a stay at home mom. But not by chose, I have been looking for a job for 2 years. I haven't even had an interview since I was pregnant. Of course that even ended up being a scam. And now I can't work full time because we can't afford daycare. I really need a job to, we want to buy a house and we can't even afford to rent. Our car payment is killing us, and my grandma is killing me. Oh yea, my boyfriend, baby, and I all live with my truly awful grandma. She is really helping us out, but I didn't realize when she asked us it was to make us her bitches.

Sorry for the rant, but I needed that.

KalenaRose11
by on Oct. 25, 2012 at 12:02 PM
I am that person now. I joined the army right after I turned 17. Got married right after 18 before I was supposed to deploy. Found out I was pregnant with ds so I didn't deploy. Got out of army to take care of ds. I had ds right after my 19th birthday. I'm now 20 and have had no job, other than my military training and no college other than the few classes I took in high school. I have talked to dh about getting a job or taking classes to finish but it always ends with dh saying..." taking care of ds is your job and you don't need a college degree in today's society and you can get a job when he goes to school ( 4 years from now)." I will be 25 with mo job or college at all. It sucks. If I bring up possibly getting a job then dh thinks I'm selfish. I hate not being able to buy our son stuff... My mil buys his clothes. My hubby's job pays for our place so we don't pay rent but he doesn't make much. I have low self esteem and no friends where I live at. My family lives 3 hours one way and my bro lives at fort Polk because he's in army. Ds wasn't planned and I don't regret having him, I just wish he would try and see where I'm coming from. Hes old fashioned and believes moms should be SAHM... He spent alot of time at his grandparents growing. His grandma worked a little cuz she had but took care of him alot. Mil has given me crap for wanting to work cuz she thinks I should be a SAHM to when she didn't even sah when her kids were born... Anyways, that's my situation.
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C.H.E.L.S.E.A
by on Oct. 25, 2012 at 12:59 PM

Well it's not like people get married thinking, "oh I need to have a backup plan for when we eventually get divorced..."

I have 2 bachelors degrees, and I stay at home with my son. 

Robsessed98
by on Oct. 25, 2012 at 2:14 PM
I agree you need work experience to fall back on if you have to. Ive done both and preferred being a working mom, but must admit being a sahm is by far the most rewarding job there is and its benefits cant be beat.
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Melanie420
by on Oct. 25, 2012 at 2:17 PM
1 mom liked this
Good thing the world isn't run by your opinion
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Anonymous
by Anonymous on Oct. 25, 2012 at 2:17 PM
That is your opinion. Being in the work field is not for me. If I had a dd and she wanted to go straight from high school to sahm I would support her decision. You have to know what to do if something where to happen yes. Oh and I have that in place.
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Oct. 25, 2012 at 2:19 PM
I am a SAHM and I have no plans to go back to work. My mom, aunts, both grandmas, never went back to work. I have skills that I could use if I had to, or wanted to, but I don't. So mind ya own business bitch!!!
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