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I don't clean, cook or do any laundry..

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

According ot my DH...I clean 99.5% of the time. The two basic, easy chores my DH has, he sucks at doing them. 

I take care of everything else pretty much on my own. I have noticed a pattern that is really getting the best of me. A while back I woke up one morning and I hadn't really cleaned that weekend. I just relaxed, so the house was untidy but no bad. He asked me to clean it because his parents were coming over.So I spent all morning doing that FOR him as a KINDNESS. Then this is the conversation.

Him: You don't clean house enough.

Me: What? I just got done cleaning all morning for you

Him: Yea, but the only reason you did it was because my parents are coming over. 

Me: No, I did it for you because you asked me to. I told you I was going to relax this weekend and clean it tomorrow, but I went ahead and did it for you. 

Needless to say, that escalated in to a big fight, and I was in tears before it was over with because he kept tearing me down after that. I felt really taken for granted, and what he said wasn't even true, so it made no sense.

Now, he has done this several times since them. Just a week ago he was complaining about some clothes that HE left on the dresser. (He takes them out, then throws them on the dresser instead of hanging them back up. He got rude with me and said "No point in wearing these, since they are all wrinkled now." That really got to me, so I said "If you have a problem with them, throw them in the dryer. You are the one who left them out to wrinkle." He didn't like that I had called him out on it, and it got to his pride that his insult backfired, so he said "Well, if you would actually do laundry!" The problem with that is, I DO laundry. I am the ONLY one who does it, and what's bad about it? I KEEP UP with the laundry. When he made that comment, there were two whole dirty clothes items. The rest was clean, folded or in the closet. That's how it mostly stays. 

Yes, after he acts like the hugest douche ever, and fights with me about it, he will later try to suck up and say he is sorry, but he will do it again! 

Now, yesterday I was cleaning while he was watching TV. (That's all he does pretty much). I cleaned everything spotless in the kitchen and living room. He witnessed this. He then started in about my cooking! 

Him: Why don't you cook every day like you used to.

Me: What do you mean? I do cook every day. Monday I asked you what you wanted for dinner and you said you wanted something from a restaurant. Tuesday I started to make dinner and you decided YOU wanted to try and make a Shepherd's pie, and now today, I am cooking. (If he cooks anything, he will hold it against me later like I made him do it when I never do).

Him: Well, you don't have dinner ready when I get home like you used to. 

Me: I have never had it done then. It's always been around 5-6 pm! . So then he moves on to something else.

Him: Well, why did you wait so late now?

Me: Um, because the chicken was thawing! I had to wait for it to thaw.

Him: Well, why don't you that it the night before like you used to. You used to do that every night. (No, I didn't. I forgot a lot then too). 

Me: What does it matter? I took it out this morning to thaw, and it's now in the oven cooking!It's cooking right now, and dinner is getting done the same time it always has.

So, the looks out the window and then looks at the clock and sees it's only right at 6, and dinner is almost done and says he thought it was later. Wtf! So, my blood is boiling at this point! He just makes up shit it seems like, and it seems to be only after I do something! 

 He goes in to a temper tantrum and is bitching about "How I am always mad" and he is tired of it. Uhh...I only get mad when you repeatedly put me down for whatever reason your little brain conjures up! 

He goes to the bedroom for a few minutes and comes out and says he is sorry and he got to thinking about it and realized "The reason why she is getting so mad lately, is because she is tired of me putting her down like that".I just wanted to say no shit dumb ass! You conclude that every time you do it after the fact! Can't wait until next week, when you do this all over again..then expect me to forgive you. Again.

What would you do? I am so sick of it, it's just making me angry toward him all the time lately. I'm having a very hard time getting over it.

Sorry so long! Just reading half of it sums it up. I just explained two other instances after that, and was venting.

Posted by Anonymous on Oct. 11, 2012 at 4:01 PM
Replies (11-20):
by on Oct. 11, 2012 at 4:15 PM

next week do absolutely nothing, including cook that way he will have something to bitch about and maybe he will see how much you do

by Abby on Oct. 11, 2012 at 4:17 PM
wow ungrateful mother fucker you got on your hands. gl
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by BS Intolerant on Oct. 11, 2012 at 4:17 PM
That would suck...I'm SO does what he thinks needs to be done if he sees something...and he does most of the cooking...we are a team effort...
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by Anonymous 4 on Oct. 11, 2012 at 4:17 PM
DH use to try this crap. Lol, I just started saying "if you don't like it shut up and do it yourself." Or I'd say "you really want to start this?!"
It worked :) now he only says the house looks nice or something along those lines.

I bust my ass and have since my kids were born. I was sick of getting pissed about things he said that were a load of crap.

Good luck!!! I know it sucks.
by Anonymous 5 on Oct. 11, 2012 at 4:20 PM

Sounds like my life!  What I have found is that men whether they admit it or not are very emotional.  And since you are the closest thing to him you get unloaded on.  Not saying its right just how it is.  My suggestion would be start praying and asking GOD to show you your faults and to help you be a better wife.  Not saying you aren't I felt the same way and everytime I prayed for GOD to "fix" him he revealed to me things about me that needed correcting.  I also read the resoultion for women based off the courageous movie and it opens up a lot of insight.  On thing I learned is that as a wife my honor and obidence is really to GOD to be the wife HE would have me to be and not as much about pleasing man.  Sounds strange but true.

by Ruby Member on Oct. 11, 2012 at 4:22 PM

I pretty much clean because I want to be in a nice neat home.  Of course my husband deserves to live in cleanliness too....but I do it because I like order and clean.

In the 29 yrs we've been married, I dont think he has ever once commented on my housekeeping skills...or lack thereof.

by on Oct. 11, 2012 at 4:24 PM
1 mom liked this

And holy crap at the women who say they grow through the same thing. That fucker would be washing his own laundry. I would cook just enough of that chicken for you and kids, he can watch you eat it.

But look out for all the wives who wipe their hubs ass, they will say you should have dinner ready when he gets home and keep his clothes wrinkle free and all that. They will justify it by saying "but he works so hard to provide for us"

I guess that works for some, hell no! i will keep my job, my paycheck, and my self respect.

Quoting clearlyme:

He is obviously trying to pick a fight with you. Sounds to me like something deeper may be going on in his head. When you are both calm and relaxed maybe talk to him. Ask him what he is actually unhappy with and re-evaluate your expectations of each other.
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by Anonymous 6 on Oct. 11, 2012 at 4:26 PM
Omg he sounds just like df. I do everything and god for bid he does it once and he claims i do nothing. He says im always pissy well ya when you put me down. I pay for a lot as well when i get paid and we go to the store i ask non stop if he wants or need anything and spend all my money. Then when he gets paid and i ask for something thats 2 bucks he gets mad and says i waist money and he pays for everything. Then he spends the rest on him self.
by Silver Member on Oct. 11, 2012 at 4:27 PM
When my dh said I don't do enough I went on strike. I did absolutely no cleaning for 3 days. I didn't cook for him or make his lunch. I did nothing for him. It only took him those 3 days to apologize. Sinve then he hasn't said a word about the condition of the house and has started helping me more.
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by on Oct. 11, 2012 at 4:32 PM

I'm sorry, my dh can get b*tchy about the house sometimes. he took a day off of work and saw what it is like on a normal day for me (kids terrorizing the house, it being cleaned and 5 minutes later trashed, etc.) and he hasn't said anything to me since other than thank you.

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