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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

I don't clean, cook or do any laundry..

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

According ot my DH...I clean 99.5% of the time. The two basic, easy chores my DH has, he sucks at doing them. 

I take care of everything else pretty much on my own. I have noticed a pattern that is really getting the best of me. A while back I woke up one morning and I hadn't really cleaned that weekend. I just relaxed, so the house was untidy but no bad. He asked me to clean it because his parents were coming over.So I spent all morning doing that FOR him as a KINDNESS. Then this is the conversation.

Him: You don't clean house enough.

Me: What? I just got done cleaning all morning for you

Him: Yea, but the only reason you did it was because my parents are coming over. 

Me: No, I did it for you because you asked me to. I told you I was going to relax this weekend and clean it tomorrow, but I went ahead and did it for you. 

Needless to say, that escalated in to a big fight, and I was in tears before it was over with because he kept tearing me down after that. I felt really taken for granted, and what he said wasn't even true, so it made no sense.

Now, he has done this several times since them. Just a week ago he was complaining about some clothes that HE left on the dresser. (He takes them out, then throws them on the dresser instead of hanging them back up. He got rude with me and said "No point in wearing these, since they are all wrinkled now." That really got to me, so I said "If you have a problem with them, throw them in the dryer. You are the one who left them out to wrinkle." He didn't like that I had called him out on it, and it got to his pride that his insult backfired, so he said "Well, if you would actually do laundry!" The problem with that is, I DO laundry. I am the ONLY one who does it, and what's bad about it? I KEEP UP with the laundry. When he made that comment, there were two whole dirty clothes items. The rest was clean, folded or in the closet. That's how it mostly stays. 

Yes, after he acts like the hugest douche ever, and fights with me about it, he will later try to suck up and say he is sorry, but he will do it again! 

Now, yesterday I was cleaning while he was watching TV. (That's all he does pretty much). I cleaned everything spotless in the kitchen and living room. He witnessed this. He then started in about my cooking! 

Him: Why don't you cook every day like you used to.

Me: What do you mean? I do cook every day. Monday I asked you what you wanted for dinner and you said you wanted something from a restaurant. Tuesday I started to make dinner and you decided YOU wanted to try and make a Shepherd's pie, and now today, I am cooking. (If he cooks anything, he will hold it against me later like I made him do it when I never do).

Him: Well, you don't have dinner ready when I get home like you used to. 

Me: I have never had it done then. It's always been around 5-6 pm! . So then he moves on to something else.

Him: Well, why did you wait so late now?

Me: Um, because the chicken was thawing! I had to wait for it to thaw.

Him: Well, why don't you that it the night before like you used to. You used to do that every night. (No, I didn't. I forgot a lot then too). 

Me: What does it matter? I took it out this morning to thaw, and it's now in the oven cooking!It's cooking right now, and dinner is getting done the same time it always has.

So, the looks out the window and then looks at the clock and sees it's only right at 6, and dinner is almost done and says he thought it was later. Wtf! So, my blood is boiling at this point! He just makes up shit it seems like, and it seems to be only after I do something! 

 He goes in to a temper tantrum and is bitching about "How I am always mad" and he is tired of it. Uhh...I only get mad when you repeatedly put me down for whatever reason your little brain conjures up! 

He goes to the bedroom for a few minutes and comes out and says he is sorry and he got to thinking about it and realized "The reason why she is getting so mad lately, is because she is tired of me putting her down like that".I just wanted to say no shit dumb ass! You conclude that every time you do it after the fact! Can't wait until next week, when you do this all over again..then expect me to forgive you. Again.

What would you do? I am so sick of it, it's just making me angry toward him all the time lately. I'm having a very hard time getting over it.

Sorry so long! Just reading half of it sums it up. I just explained two other instances after that, and was venting.



Posted by Anonymous on Oct. 11, 2012 at 4:01 PM
Replies (21-30):
Barronbaby
by Brandi on Oct. 11, 2012 at 4:33 PM
i stopped cooking and cleaning for 4 days.... dh learned a valuable lesson... i do way more than he gave me credit for!
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sheramom4
by Ruby Member on Oct. 11, 2012 at 4:38 PM

My dad did that to my mom once...she went on strike. She also put post-it notes all over the house with different tasks on them including recipes and a grocery list. He never did it again....she went as far as making herself dinner and making none for him (all of us were out of the house).

If my husband did that I would simply stop doing anything and let him know if he can do it better he should do it.

garnet83
by on Oct. 11, 2012 at 4:38 PM

1. No matter how big the fight or how intense my emotions, I NEVER let DH see me cry and I don't think anyone else should either. Never show weakness. Common female mistake. Men don't take you seriously because they think you are too emotional rather than logical.

2. Tell him to try doing what you do for a week to see if he can do any better. Chances are he will either refuse because he knows he can't or after 3 days he will have learned his lesson.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 7 on Oct. 11, 2012 at 4:44 PM
Yeah...eff all that! When my stbxh started doing that and never lifted a finger, I stopped doing his laundry, cleaninf his messes, moved his clutter to his man cave and kept piling it on thick. I stopped cooking large dinners anymore. I cooked for me and DS and if there was left overs he could make his own plate. He tried to put his dirty laundry after I got all. I removed it and placed it on back to his closet floor.

I went from treating him like a King, to being treated as only the hired help. I flipped my shit on him when he said that the house wasn't clean enough...

I said... fuck this. i'll show you dirty!

I took a bag of.flour and dumped in all over the kitchen, got DS in on the fun. I knocked everything off the mantell and dump DS toys out


He saw I was pissed and I left for the night. I came homeand everything was cleaned. All I said was, "you missed a spot."

He got defenive and said he did the best he could. I told him to stfu about my cleaning and cooking. He apologized and never said anyting again about it again.
meparty
by on Oct. 11, 2012 at 4:46 PM

My husband gets a pile of clean clothes EVERY week, a hot meal, kids are living, he gets the remote, he watches football on the big screen while i watch upstairs on tiny tv... he can do some damn dishes.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Oct. 11, 2012 at 4:48 PM

I don't think my DH mistakes me for too emotional when I cry. I very rarely do it. It's usually the last emotion you will see out of me. I will get angry a long time before I cry, but we have both cried in front of each other. Actually if I cry, he usually feels bad and sucks up to me, because he knows I don't cry unless I am way past my breaking point, but I know some people do take advantage of that.

In our arguments I am extremely logical and factual about everything. He is the opposite. He runs off of his emotions and will think because he feels a certain way, that means he is right, and of course he feels that way about everything, no matter how wrong it is. 

Quoting garnet83:

1. No matter how big the fight or how intense my emotions, I NEVER let DH see me cry and I don't think anyone else should either. Never show weakness. Common female mistake. Men don't take you seriously because they think you are too emotional rather than logical.

2. Tell him to try doing what you do for a week to see if he can do any better. Chances are he will either refuse because he knows he can't or after 3 days he will have learned his lesson.


NatesMyBoy
by Gold Member on Oct. 11, 2012 at 4:48 PM
I would say stop doing shit for him. But obviously that would backfire, you would end up cleaning. Has he always been like this?
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 8 on Oct. 11, 2012 at 4:50 PM
It's posts like this that make me glad I'm single!
chas1217
by on Oct. 11, 2012 at 4:51 PM
This happened with my df once and I tried not doing anything so he could see what I do. It only lasted for that day, I had to clean before I went to bed cause it bothered me, so ut wasn't very effective lol. I just talked to him about jt, he apologized and hasn't been that way since. Maybe try talking to him? Good luck!
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jmetz4
by on Oct. 11, 2012 at 4:51 PM

Get a tape recorder or record each time on your phone. Then the next time he does it start playing each one back at the end. Take pictures of what you do and how he leaves things. 

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