Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Not sure if I should bring this up to my daughter....

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

My daughter received an invitation to a birthday party for Sat.

The problem is, this girl was likely made to invite her whole cheer team. I have heard her mock the newer girls (dd included) and I understand a little bit. She and her "bestie" take tumbling classes and live and breath cheer, meanwhile there are girls who are first years who can't even do a tumble, on the same team not to mention that these girls are 10 and dd is 8.

DD asked her what she wanted for her birthday and the girl told her "oh well I really like Alex and Ani bracelets" I am sorry kid, I am not getting you a $30 bracelet, you're 10.

If dd's friends from cheer are not going, I am considering trying to influence DD to not go. The girl goes to a private school, so dd definitely will not know anyone, and I feel like they are just doing it to "include everyone" and to get more presents.

I am not terribly happy to bring her to this party, but I also don't want to say no.

Posted by Anonymous on Oct. 11, 2012 at 4:51 PM
Replies (41-50):
nocalmegan
by Ruby Member on Oct. 11, 2012 at 6:02 PM
I dont really think anything that's only 30$ to be high end ESP when compared to a coach bag which can be hundreds to a few thousand $$.


Quoting Anonymous:

I just feel like Alex and Ani bracelets are for adults, they are expensive and considered "high-end". Just like it is stupid to get a kid a coach bag


Quoting nocalmegan:

I guess. I still consider it a fair amount. I don't think in reality her request was unreasonable even if for your budget you feel like it was.





Quoting Anonymous:

after taxes it may work out to that much in some places.

Even still, it could be an hr's worth of working, it is still too much for a child's birthday. Unless it is your own child.

For DD's birthday she got my old nook and a $50 giftcard for books for it.


Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Lena-Loo
by on Oct. 11, 2012 at 6:02 PM

You are the parent tell her no 

msjaxon
by Platinum Member on Oct. 11, 2012 at 6:04 PM
$30 bux is too much? Interesting
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
msjaxon
by Platinum Member on Oct. 11, 2012 at 6:05 PM
This. Pandora bracelets are "high end" and the low end of high end lol...

Quoting nocalmegan:

I dont really think anything that's only 30$ to be high end ESP when compared to a coach bag which can be hundreds to a few thousand $$.




Quoting Anonymous:

I just feel like Alex and Ani bracelets are for adults, they are expensive and considered "high-end". Just like it is stupid to get a kid a coach bag



Quoting nocalmegan:

I guess. I still consider it a fair amount. I don't think in reality her request was unreasonable even if for your budget you feel like it was.








Quoting Anonymous:

after taxes it may work out to that much in some places.

Even still, it could be an hr's worth of working, it is still too much for a child's birthday. Unless it is your own child.

For DD's birthday she got my old nook and a $50 giftcard for books for it.


Posted on CafeMom Mobile
msjaxon
by Platinum Member on Oct. 11, 2012 at 6:08 PM
Why are you so cheap? How broke are you guys?

Quoting Anonymous:

we don't even spend that much on family, unless it is my nephew, then I might hit $30.

But I wouldn't get one thing that cost $30, if I spent that much it would be because I got a few things. Our budget for any birthday party is $15-$20 if we really can't find something under $15.


 I don't even know what to get this kid, maybe a gift card to Justice?  I am sure my dd will pick out a doll or a book for her, and I don't think that will float.


Quoting nocalmegan:

Lol I'm laughing at "I'm not spending 30$ on you because you are 10" seriously. Thats a totally reasonable gift price for any age.

But if she's mean to your Dd then make fun plans for that day and tell your Dd you forgot.


Posted on CafeMom Mobile
PinkieRed
by on Oct. 11, 2012 at 6:08 PM
I have a 14 year old daughter and a 9 year old son. I know all about girls' friendship drama, unfortunately! It starts young, and only gets worse as they get older.

My daughter was bullied at her old elementary school, for being mixed race and having a learning disability. I was honestly floored at how downright mean and nasty some of the girls were, at such young ages. In 2nd grade, two little brats, two popular girls who were best friends, decided they didn't like my daughter, and went after her like a couple of piranahs. At least the teacher stepped in, and asked the girls' parents to come to the school, and told them what was going on, and that she wouldn't tolerate it in her classroom.

I finally pulled my daughter out of that school after 5th grade (it was a K-8 school), because of bullying. She still has self esteem problems because of it, and is cautious about making friends.

Girls' friendships are definitely more complicated than boys'. My daughter has two very close in age girl cousins on my side of the family - one is 9 months older than my daughter (15), and one is 3 months younger (14). My daughter has even had to deal with drama from them. The 15 year old, quite frankly, is a snob, and the 14 year old only wants to spend time with my daughter if none of her friends are available to hang out.

I personally have always had more guy friends than women, because women can be so petty towards each other, over the stupidest stuff. Heck, look at some of the stuff that women say to each other on CM - that's proof right there, LOL!
Quoting Anonymous:

I am the mom of boys we don't get into all this friends drama.  Maybe you are too?  Don't know why the girls have all this popularity issues except it may be a way of figuring out true friendships and in my adult life its been my few girl friends who have got my back.


Quoting PinkieRed:

I agree with this. I guess you and I are in the minority here. And even if the other girls are less skilled at cheerleading, it's poor sportsmanship for those girls to be mocking them. They don't sound like they'd make very good friends.





Quoting Anonymous:

I would trust your gut on this and not go. Their only relationship is at cheer. They don't go to the same school so no sense developing a relationship with this girl. And if they are mean girls why do it. No need for your daughter to be popular with that group.  And on top of that its a skating party and she can't skate so her dad is going with her?  


Posted on CafeMom Mobile
nocalmegan
by Ruby Member on Oct. 11, 2012 at 6:08 PM
Right!? Nobody is ever happy anymore tho. If the girl were to request a Wii it would be outrageous. So she asks for a 30$ gift and it's still WAY to much for a present. No 10 year old is going to ask for a 5$ gift. If you cant afford a small amount then don't ask what the kid wants. Just get something cheap and let it be.


Quoting msjaxon:

This. Pandora bracelets are "high end" and the low end of high end lol...



Quoting nocalmegan:

I dont really think anything that's only 30$ to be high end ESP when compared to a coach bag which can be hundreds to a few thousand $$.






Quoting Anonymous:

I just feel like Alex and Ani bracelets are for adults, they are expensive and considered "high-end". Just like it is stupid to get a kid a coach bag




Quoting nocalmegan:

I guess. I still consider it a fair amount. I don't think in reality her request was unreasonable even if for your budget you feel like it was.











Quoting Anonymous:

after taxes it may work out to that much in some places.

Even still, it could be an hr's worth of working, it is still too much for a child's birthday. Unless it is your own child.

For DD's birthday she got my old nook and a $50 giftcard for books for it.



Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Oct. 11, 2012 at 6:17 PM
1 mom liked this

You sound like a good intelligent and caring mom.  And the love you are showing your daughter will help her more than any of the bs she could be getting from being popular.   tooI am amazed at how mean women are to other women.  And am glad I am raising boys they are still pretty easy at 13 and 11.  The scary part is that you don't know they are in trouble until the police call and I know too many parents who have gotten that call.

PinkieRed
by on Oct. 11, 2012 at 6:17 PM
How is that cheap?

If one of my kids was going to a birthday party for a friend, I'd spend $20-$25, tops.

I have eleven nieces and nephews on my side of the family alone (and one on the way, as my adult niece is pregnant) and I don't buy them birthday gifts. I can't afford it for that many kids. My husband has 100 something nieces and nephews/second nieces and nephews (he has 15 siblings), so no way could we buy gifts for all of them. My side of the family does a Christmas gift exchange every year, for the under 18 year old kids. Each adult buys for one kid, and we cap it at $20.

I don't think the OP is being cheap at all, especially considering that this girl is not even a close friend of her daughter's.
Quoting msjaxon:

Why are you so cheap? How broke are you guys?

Quoting Anonymous:

we don't even spend that much on family, unless it is my nephew, then I might hit $30.

But I wouldn't get one thing that cost $30, if I spent that much it would be because I got a few things. Our budget for any birthday party is $15-$20 if we really can't find something under $15.


 I don't even know what to get this kid, maybe a gift card to Justice?  I am sure my dd will pick out a doll or a book for her, and I don't think that will float.



Quoting nocalmegan:

Lol I'm laughing at "I'm not spending 30$ on you because you are 10" seriously. Thats a totally reasonable gift price for any age.


But if she's mean to your Dd then make fun plans for that day and tell your Dd you forgot.


Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Crazy-Steph
by Ruby Member on Oct. 11, 2012 at 6:20 PM
1 mom liked this
You sure are making a lot of assumptions about a birthday party. They don't really want your daughter to come. Your dsughter will be uncomfortable. She's only invited for more gifts. A less expensive gift won't float.

Your daughter asked if she can go, so she obviously wants to. If the girl starts being mean, you can leave. I have never seen a child complain about a cheap gift at a party. Usually they just want to babe fun.


Quoting Anonymous:

we don't even spend that much on family, unless it is my nephew, then I might hit $30.

But I wouldn't get one thing that cost $30, if I spent that much it would be because I got a few things. Our budget for any birthday party is $15-$20 if we really can't find something under $15.


 I don't even know what to get this kid, maybe a gift card to Justice?  I am sure my dd will pick out a doll or a book for her, and I don't think that will float.


Quoting nocalmegan:

Lol I'm laughing at "I'm not spending 30$ on you because you are 10" seriously. Thats a totally reasonable gift price for any age.

But if she's mean to your Dd then make fun plans for that day and tell your Dd you forgot.


Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)



Featured