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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Appropriate punishment for bullying 3 yr old

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 7 Replies
My DS is 3.5 and almost 4" taller and 15-20 lbs heavier than his female classmates. Usually, he is a super sweet, kind and generous child. Today he was bullying ALL of the girls in his class. Pulling hair, pinching, pushing and hitting.

I talked to him, told him I was disappointed and that as a boy he is bigger and stronger than girls and has to protect them. He cannot hit, pinch, push or pull their hair. Then I sent him to bed for a nap as soon as we got home. He will no be allowe to watch tv, play video games or play outside today.

Appropriate? Should I do more? I want to nip this in the butt before it gets worse. And DS is 3'5" and 40 lbs in case anyone is wondering.
Posted by Anonymous on Oct. 11, 2012 at 5:32 PM
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Replies (1-7):
LanaTsunami
by Silver Member on Oct. 11, 2012 at 5:34 PM

BUMP!

isabellah
by on Oct. 11, 2012 at 5:40 PM

More than enought punishment problaby just talking would have been enough.  Since it was so out of character did you find out why he was doing this or what gave him the idea to behave this way.

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Oct. 11, 2012 at 5:42 PM

 When my son did that I made him apologize to all the kids in the class then he wasn't allowed to do anything but sit on the couch and color the rest of the night. (he HATES coloring) He came home the next day and told me he hugged all his friends and told them he was sorry again and that he would never ever be mean to them again and he hasn't. I think that every child is diffrent some just need a talking to and some need more.

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Oct. 11, 2012 at 5:45 PM
He says that they were being "mean to him" but the teacher says that's untrue. He walked up to the quietest and smallest girl there and shoved her off of the playground equipment. No provocation whatsoever.

He only seems to do this when I drop him off at school. He did the same last week (but that was towards boys) when I dropped him off. Sometimes DH just can't take him. At that point he just had a nap and a talking to.


Quoting isabellah:

More than enought punishment problaby just talking would have been enough.  Since it was so out of character did you find out why he was doing this or what gave him the idea to behave this way.


LaMerica
by Silver Member on Oct. 11, 2012 at 5:45 PM

Since this is a first for him, maybe this is a touch of overkill, but you know your kid, we don't. I would, however, talk to him after his nap, when you have both calmed down and administer your final call on his punishment at that time. Boys tend to be mean to girls they think are pretty, even at that age. It's not acceptable, but maybe should be kept in mind when you talk with him. Good luck!

isabellah
by on Oct. 11, 2012 at 5:52 PM

Maybe you need to try a different transition when you drop him off at school If he is just 3 is this is first year.  Must be missing mom alot.  Maybe you can hang out and chat or make sure that your son has some interaction with his teacher or another adult before let loose on the playground. That might kind of be like the transition he gets from leaving you at home to school when his dad drops him off. Don't make too big a deal of it he is just a little boy and really loves and misses his mommy alot.

Quoting Anonymous:

He says that they were being "mean to him" but the teacher says that's untrue. He walked up to the quietest and smallest girl there and shoved her off of the playground equipment. No provocation whatsoever.

He only seems to do this when I drop him off at school. He did the same last week (but that was towards boys) when I dropped him off. Sometimes DH just can't take him. At that point he just had a nap and a talking to.


Quoting isabellah:

More than enought punishment problaby just talking would have been enough.  Since it was so out of character did you find out why he was doing this or what gave him the idea to behave this way.



Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Oct. 11, 2012 at 6:25 PM
When I drop him off I usually stay for 30 mins - 1 hour. He attended the last 3 months last year so this isn't technically his first exposure to school while it is his first full year.


Quoting isabellah:

Maybe you need to try a different transition when you drop him off at school If he is just 3 is this is first year.  Must be missing mom alot.  Maybe you can hang out and chat or make sure that your son has some interaction with his teacher or another adult before let loose on the playground. That might kind of be like the transition he gets from leaving you at home to school when his dad drops him off. Don't make too big a deal of it he is just a little boy and really loves and misses his mommy alot.


Quoting Anonymous:

He says that they were being "mean to him" but the teacher says that's untrue. He walked up to the quietest and smallest girl there and shoved her off of the playground equipment. No provocation whatsoever.



He only seems to do this when I drop him off at school. He did the same last week (but that was towards boys) when I dropped him off. Sometimes DH just can't take him. At that point he just had a nap and a talking to.





Quoting isabellah:

More than enought punishment problaby just talking would have been enough.  Since it was so out of character did you find out why he was doing this or what gave him the idea to behave this way.





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