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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Abortion scheduled -- thinking of keeping.....

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

A couple days ago I found out I"m pregnant after a one night stand. The guy is being great, he's going to help and come with me. We aren't together, I don't think we will be together. I'm in love with someone I will never be with and am working on getting over that.... I have a couple other kids and have been split from my husband for a year or so....but despite child support from my xh sometimes I struggle to make it each month though I can certainly cut back in some areas. This is the right choice, the best choice for me, my family, the baby....


But....part of me, the mom in me, is dying at the thought. What if its my last baby ever and I get rid of it? What if I meet someone and we want to have kids and can't and I always wonder about this one....I don't want to be tied to this guy....I don't want to be that mom that has a handful of kids by different fathers...i hate sharing my kids as it is and this guy would want to be involved....he makes good money but I still can't support another kid....I have a new job I can't take time off from.....I can't afford daycare for another one....but....ther'es always that but. I miss being pregnant, I miss having a baby. I know this is not the time in my life to be doing any of that, I'm young (almost 30) and I have lots of time....but....

Just had to get that off my chest....i haven't told anyone here I am going and I thought some of you might be able to relate, or understand, or have words of advice. PLEASE no abortion debates, that's not what this is about AT ALL. I don't care if you agree or disagree with abortion, I'm just needing to share my internal angst at making the right choice.....

Posted by Anonymous on Oct. 11, 2012 at 6:06 PM
Replies (71-80):
Kristen_bailey
by Member on Oct. 11, 2012 at 6:56 PM
I think you know what's best for you and that baby I'm kinda sad abortion is your choice but then again the situation is complicated so make the best choice that you can live with good luck
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous 24 on Oct. 11, 2012 at 6:58 PM
1 mom liked this

its a hard choice.  my husband and i just lost our daughter  not even a week ago, i was at 38 weeks and  on the ultrasound (our 1st ultrasound this pregnancy) it was discovered there was no heart beat. so close to term, so happy, excited, all gone. after she was born there was a clear birth defect aparent. a very rare one, she had a 3%chance of even making it to birth. it would have been shown if we had ultrasound early on even in 1st trimester but drs would have pushed to abort her. we would have refused. we are partly glad we didnt know, all those special moments, feeling her move , her so reactive to her daddy, just knew it was his hands on my belly. all of this went un tainted and un sullied  by  what a crushign weight knowing what we know now would have caused, all we can do right now is cry and keep thinking she should be here with us, everytime my chest aches i think i should be feeding her right now, holding her, juggling the crazy mornings getting  a kindergartener and 1st grader ready for school while taking care of  a baby. we knew we would have struggled financially, we hit a rough money patch a couple months into the pregnancy, but still.

its up to you to decide. as a mom you know we always end up finding some way to make it for everyone to be taken care of. theres help out there, freecycle.org  is a great place, you can join a group for your local area, everything has to be given freely, no trading or money  period  thats against rules. you can get baby clothes to car parts on there! its not a charity really  just people have things they dont need or can use offering to others who  can  make use of it. some posting things they need to see if other have one they arent going to use ect. hell just before finding out our baby had passed and would be born still, id posted asking if  anyone had some newborn diapers their baby outgrew  left over pack, or cloth diapers ect. after days in hospital and out of town i came home to   a few emails, of others who offered theirs to me and one who just went out and bought diapers specifically for me to help us. i cried  writing them back to inform them of our loss, said they can return what they bought or donate it ect. i felt terrible. but was so touched by those strangers kindness. also people at times post random food items on there offering to others, just yesterday someone was offering cans of sweetened condensed milk ect baking  ingredients.

as moms we always find a way to make things work out in the end.

summerbear
by Silver Member on Oct. 11, 2012 at 6:59 PM
If you miss being pregnant but can't afford another baby, why not look into adoption agencies and find a couple who want to be parents but can't have their own? You get to be pregnant, but not worry about paying for daycare.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
itsm3
by Platinum Member on Oct. 11, 2012 at 6:59 PM
1 mom liked this

you  need to do what is right for YOU and your situation.  if another baby would bring on financial stress, then perhaps you should go through with it.  

never mind those who say bad things about abortions.  i'm not for or against it; i just think a woman/couple needs to do what is right according to the siutation they're in.  be advised though, that if this is your first time, you may need to go for couselling afterwards.... i've heard this is very common as some guilt may set in afterwards.

i hope it all works out for the best.  remember that every decision you make today will affect you tomorrow.  think ahead; think of both situations and which one you would be able to live with most.  

good luck.

bustybee
by Buzz Lightyear on Oct. 11, 2012 at 7:00 PM

you don't seem to want to and have very logicalized it as to why you need to. but you also need to want to abort. please consider that.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 25 on Oct. 11, 2012 at 7:01 PM
1 mom liked this

You have to make the decision.  I had 2 abortions and was still able to have a child.  I did not bring a child into this world that I could not afford, that is why I did it .

winkyloafer
by on Oct. 11, 2012 at 7:01 PM
Whatever you end up doing will always be the right decision. Just remember that.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous 11 on Oct. 11, 2012 at 7:08 PM
It's depressing, seriously. If it could only happen to the people who wanted it to happen, and not those who don't. I had a failed adoption before. They had wanted us to adopt, they came to us while we were ttc. We agreed, after a while, they took the baby back :(.


Quoting dee1603:

I've been trying w dh for 3 years now. I know what you mean.



I'll adopt!!!




Quoting Anonymous:

Don't do it. I wish I could trade places with you. We've been trying for a long while for another one. What I would give for that.


alyssaravensmom
by Platinum Member on Oct. 11, 2012 at 7:10 PM
:( I am so very sorry.


Quoting Anonymous:

its a hard choice.  my husband and i just lost our daughter  not even a week ago, i was at 38 weeks and  on the ultrasound (our 1st ultrasound this pregnancy) it was discovered there was no heart beat. so close to term, so happy, excited, all gone. after she was born there was a clear birth defect aparent. a very rare one, she had a 3%chance of even making it to birth. it would have been shown if we had ultrasound early on even in 1st trimester but drs would have pushed to abort her. we would have refused. we are partly glad we didnt know, all those special moments, feeling her move , her so reactive to her daddy, just knew it was his hands on my belly. all of this went un tainted and un sullied  by  what a crushign weight knowing what we know now would have caused, all we can do right now is cry and keep thinking she should be here with us, everytime my chest aches i think i should be feeding her right now, holding her, juggling the crazy mornings getting  a kindergartener and 1st grader ready for school while taking care of  a baby. we knew we would have struggled financially, we hit a rough money patch a couple months into the pregnancy, but still.

its up to you to decide. as a mom you know we always end up finding some way to make it for everyone to be taken care of. theres help out there, freecycle.org  is a great place, you can join a group for your local area, everything has to be given freely, no trading or money  period  thats against rules. you can get baby clothes to car parts on there! its not a charity really  just people have things they dont need or can use offering to others who  can  make use of it. some posting things they need to see if other have one they arent going to use ect. hell just before finding out our baby had passed and would be born still, id posted asking if  anyone had some newborn diapers their baby outgrew  left over pack, or cloth diapers ect. after days in hospital and out of town i came home to   a few emails, of others who offered theirs to me and one who just went out and bought diapers specifically for me to help us. i cried  writing them back to inform them of our loss, said they can return what they bought or donate it ect. i felt terrible. but was so touched by those strangers kindness. also people at times post random food items on there offering to others, just yesterday someone was offering cans of sweetened condensed milk ect baking  ingredients.

as moms we always find a way to make things work out in the end.


Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous 26 on Oct. 11, 2012 at 7:11 PM
Get e abortion... You can always have more babies.
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