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No heartbeat.. ETA.. UPDATE 2 - Ultrasound

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post
I don't know what to think.. Went in for my first OBGYN appointment yesterday and there's no heartbeat.. I'm supposed to be 13 weeks.. Does anyone know what this means? I don't want to think miscarriage. I have a ultrasound on Monday morning.. I haven't bled, I've only had slight cramping.. ETA: Thank you ladies for your responses. I'd like to just say, some of them have scared me shitless.. I am now having mild cramps in my pelvic area.. I'm trying to stay positive until Monday.. If I keep cramping I am going to the hospital.. Will update if I go. If not, I'll update on Monday after my ultrasound. Thank you. ETA2**** I had my ultrasound this morning. Baby is alive and well. I was off on my due date. I am 9 weeks tomorrow. Thank you ladies for the well wishes!!!!!!
Posted by Anonymous on Oct. 12, 2012 at 9:50 AM
Replies (51-60):
amandasantelman
by on Oct. 12, 2012 at 10:31 AM
Try not to stress to much hun.. think positive.. hugs and please keep us updated
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HIJKLM
by Ruby Member on Oct. 12, 2012 at 10:31 AM
3 weeks. I've been to the OB 3 times. Last week she referred me for the ultrasound and it took a week to get in. I was holding it together pretty well till today. Now I'm scared shitless.

Quoting Anonymous:

Good luck to you too mama.. Please let me know how it goes.. How long did they make you wait after not hearing the heartbeat, to give you a ultrasound?




Quoting HIJKLM:

Wow I'm in the exact same position. 13 weeks too. I have my ultrasound today. I'm going crazy with fear. My doc said baby could be hiding or I'm not as far as I thought but to keep in mind the possibility of miscarriage. I really hope we both get good news. Hugs. Good luck mama. If you want to talk you can PM me.

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wrensong
by Pagan Mother on Oct. 12, 2012 at 10:33 AM

 I am so sorry. This happened to me once too. I went for my first appt and u/s and there was no heartbeat. I was given the choice to have a D&C or let nature take it's course. I decided to let nature do it's thing and miscarried a week later.

 

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Oct. 12, 2012 at 10:34 AM
Well hell...they got me in for first available appointment, which was when office opens monday morning @9.. Im scared, especially after some of these comments..i wish you well mama...plz hang in there...&update me..


Quoting HIJKLM:

3 weeks. I've been to the OB 3 times. Last week she referred me for the ultrasound and it took a week to get in. I was holding it together pretty well till today. Now I'm scared shitless.



Quoting Anonymous:

Good luck to you too mama.. Please let me know how it goes.. How long did they make you wait after not hearing the heartbeat, to give you a ultrasound?






Quoting HIJKLM:

Wow I'm in the exact same position. 13 weeks too. I have my ultrasound today. I'm going crazy with fear. My doc said baby could be hiding or I'm not as far as I thought but to keep in mind the possibility of miscarriage. I really hope we both get good news. Hugs. Good luck mama. If you want to talk you can PM me.


Kaybean
by Ruby Member on Oct. 12, 2012 at 10:34 AM
It could definitely be a mc. I hate to say that, but it's true. Most mc happen before 12 weeks. The baby could have passed 3 days ago or 3 weeks ago. With my first mc, I was supposed to be 9w6d but the baby passed at 8 weeks and it took 2 weeks for my body to begin miscarrying. If it isn't a mc, then you could either not be as far along as you thought and they just couldn't see it yet or maybe a bad angle. If you are for surely 13 weeks though, they egotistical be able to see a clear heartbeat by now. I hope it turns out okay!
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Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Oct. 12, 2012 at 10:35 AM
Can you tell me exactly what a D & C is?... so i know my options..


Quoting wrensong:

 I am so sorry. This happened to me once too. I went for my first appt and u/s and there was no heartbeat. I was given the choice to have a D&C or let nature take it's course. I decided to let nature do it's thing and miscarried a week later.


 


HIJKLM
by Ruby Member on Oct. 12, 2012 at 10:36 AM
Ya I didn't read the replies for that reason. I'll update after my apt
Quoting Anonymous:

Well hell...they got me in for first available appointment, which was when office opens monday morning @9.. Im scared, especially after some of these comments..i wish you well mama...plz hang in there...&update me..



Quoting HIJKLM:

3 weeks. I've been to the OB 3 times. Last week she referred me for the ultrasound and it took a week to get in. I was holding it together pretty well till today. Now I'm scared shitless.



Quoting Anonymous:

Good luck to you too mama.. Please let me know how it goes.. How long did they make you wait after not hearing the heartbeat, to give you a ultrasound?









Quoting HIJKLM:

Wow I'm in the exact same position. 13 weeks too. I have my ultrasound today. I'm going crazy with fear. My doc said baby could be hiding or I'm not as far as I thought but to keep in mind the possibility of miscarriage. I really hope we both get good news. Hugs. Good luck mama. If you want to talk you can PM me.


Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Oct. 12, 2012 at 10:37 AM
Thank you... Can you give me advice on how to tell 2 happy girls expecting to be big sisters, if the worst does happen? I'm worried about them, and how they'll take this..


Quoting Kaybean:

It could definitely be a mc. I hate to say that, but it's true. Most mc happen before 12 weeks. The baby could have passed 3 days ago or 3 weeks ago. With my first mc, I was supposed to be 9w6d but the baby passed at 8 weeks and it took 2 weeks for my body to begin miscarrying. If it isn't a mc, then you could either not be as far along as you thought and they just couldn't see it yet or maybe a bad angle. If you are for surely 13 weeks though, they egotistical be able to see a clear heartbeat by now. I hope it turns out okay!

Mrs.Kubalabuku
by Ruby Member on Oct. 12, 2012 at 10:37 AM

It could be a few things.  One, you could be a bit less far along they estimated.  Two, no offense, are you heavier in the midsection?  That can make it harder.  Three, it can mean the pregnancy has failed and a miscarriage is coming.  Or, it is what they call a "missed loss."  I had a couple of missed losses.

Let's address issue 1.  It happens.  Those early heartbeats can be hard to pick up.  I'm going to go by fetal age, not by the date of last menstrual cycle.  You may be able to pick up a heartbeat through vaginal ultrasound as early as 4 weeks after actual conception.  (6 weeks if using date of last cycle.)   By week seven after actual conception picking up a heartbeat is very likely with a vaginal ultrasound.  Since you should be about 13 weeks, I'm assuming going by last cycle, then you could be "off" by 2-3 weeks.

Which brings us to issue 2.  They don't normally do vaginals unless there is a need, since it is considered more invasive.  If you are heavier in the midsection, the extra padding can make detecting an early heart beat a bit more difficult.  Since they scheduled you for a second one, it seems they are just making sure your pregnancy wasn't too early for the ultrasound to pick up.  If they didn't do a vaginal the first time, they will most likely do one the second time.  Don't worry if you've never had one, they don't hurt.  It's a very slender rod with a bulb on the end you slide up to your cervix.  It can be uncomfortable when they angle it around, but all in all it is an easy experience.

Now, for 3.  If the baby still does not have a heartbeat, I'm so sorry.  It most likely means the pregnancy was, for some reason, just not viable and has failed.  You will have some difficult decisions to make.  You can either wait to see if your body proceeds to miscarry naturally, take some pills to start the process and miscarry at home, or have a D&C.  (Dilation and cutterage.)  (Depending on your unique circumstances, the doctors might want to wait one more week and try again.  You can request this if your instincts tell you to do so.)  This is an extremely personal decision.  .

They have conducted studies that indicate that the sooner a woman has the miscarriage, the quicker she recovers mentally b/c she can start the grieving process that much sooner.  It can be devastating to some women to carry a fetus that has failed.  But, some women do need time to come to terms and say their goodbyes to the baby.  You will have to figure out if waiting it out is the best option for you and your DH/SO.

The option of taking some pills and miscarrying at home is preferrable to some women.  They have their SO stay home with them, take the pills and pain medications if needed, and wait.  When the miscarriage starts, they collect tissues, and if visible, the fetus in a jar or bag and take that to the doctor so he can try to determine what went wrong.  (Some doctors don't want you to bring them the tissues/fetus if it is a first loss.  A lot of pregnancies fail for no reason that medical science can find.  Most are just a genetic anomoly that made the fetus unable to grow.  My OB, for example, didn't collect tissues until miscarriage #3.)  Some women, however, don't feel they could handle the pain and visual of the experience, and/or taking their lost baby to the doctors in a jar or bag.  Again, you'll have to decide what is best for you.

The D&C option means a surgery.  You set a time, usually within a couple of days.  They put you under, scrape the inside of your uterus clean, collect any needed samples, and you can usually go home the same day.  On my last loss, the baby died at 14 weeks.  I had a D&C b/c they were concerned it would be too much to pass safely at home and they wanted samples.  (They were able to determine the cause of my losses.)  The D&C was scary, it was my first time going under.  But the doctors and nurses were very kind.  The surgeon actually came in on his day off to get me in quicker.  DH was allowed to stay with me until it was time to go to the OR.  Immediately after the surgery, and before I even woke up, they took me back to the room where DH was waiting, so I wokeup to him holding my hand and telling me it was OK.

In any miscarriage case, you should know you have options on how to handle "the products of conception."  Legally, you can bury it on your property.  Or, the hospital can cremate it.  When the hospitals cremate it, they usually hold a ceremony once a season for all babies lost in that timeframe.  My local hospital did a lovely job with that.  The ceremony was nice, nondenominational, and the ashes are always spread in a park by the hospital.  We were each given a small pendant on a ribbon with the date of conception and the date we lost the baby.  They offered counseling as well.

Even if your hospital doesn't do the same, it is helpful for many families to have a small ceremony of their own.  If you can't bury it yourself, you can bury some baby socks or a toy.  Or, plant a special flowering bush or tree in the yard as a memorial.  At home, I have glass babies on a lovely crystal platter.  Once a year, I bring it down, light candles, and grieve my losses.  But, I have 2 lovely children now.  Miscarriages are very emotional and confusing experiences, no matter when or how often they happen, but a loss doesn't mean you have to give up the dream.

As far as trying again, some women benefit greatly from getting pregnant right away.  Others find taking a year or two off to refocus is best.  That is also a very personal decision, but one you should do your best to include your DH in.  After some losses, I needed to wait.  After my last loss, I needed to try again as early as I could, or I was afraid I'd never have the courage.  Do what feels right for you.

My prayers and thoughts are with you.  Hopefully, they find the heartbeat next time.  But if not, I hope the rest helps.  There is a Facebook page with wonderful support for women going through this.  Please let me know if you want to know it.  But I wouldn't go there just yet.  Take it easy this week, and hopefully this will just be a scare.

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Oct. 12, 2012 at 10:39 AM
Y'all stop. That's totally untrue!!!

Open, my ob doesn't even attempt a heartbeat via Doppler until 16 weeks because of this exact reason. It is unreliable because baby is still very small and located down closer to the pelvic region. It is difficult for Doppler to pick up at this point in time.
With my second child a medical student attempted to find it at 13 weeks and couldn't. Of course i was crying and freaking when my ob got to the room. I had a Miscarriage a month earlier so i was already nervous. Ob chewed the student out and spent 45 minutes trying to find baby. She was about to send me for an emergency ultrasound to just calm me down, but finally picked up a faint heart beat. She had to push down hard and put the Doppler very low. Even then it was hard to hear.


Don't panic yet. If you can't stay calm call your ob and demand them arrange an ultrasound today for peace of mind. The stress isn't good for you or baby.

Quoting MusicMuse1991:



Quoting Anonymous:

If the baby has no heartbeat that means the baby has passed.

yeah i'm sorry but this. they should be able to hear it by 10 weeks. i'm not going to sugar coat it like these people are doing, because that's not going to help. if they can't hear it by now then more than likely you've miscarried.

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