Are you going to, or have you????
You're damn skippy, I do....as well as reading notes that she cleans out of her purse and book bag...I don't confront her with what I find because 1. It's a gold mine of information about what's going on in her head, heart and world and 2. She has a right to think her thoughts and fee her feelings....Now you might think that #2 is hypocritical aqs I'm basically invading her privacy while saying she also has a right to it...But, I use what I read to understand her better...She's Autistic and has a hard time expressing herself to someone else but basically wirtes letters to herself or others in her diary...So, I get to see how she's thinking and feeling....Is someone picking on her? Well, that gives me the chance to casually bring up how to handle problems with people while we do dishes together...Is she angry with her (very,very absent) father? Well then, I can talk to her about the choices people make in life and how they affect others while driving in the car....Does she talk about loving her boyfriend (she's 13,lol) then I can talk about love with her...how it changes, how some loves are different, how all love is real but not always the kind of love you can commit your life to, how what she wants in someone will change as she grows and changes....
I don't fee like it's spying because I'm not trying to catch her in trouble....I don't fee like it's fair to use something she wrote in her diary against her, so to speak...If I find in the future something troubling - she wants to have sex,she feels hopeless/suicidal - then I can get her the help she needs for it be it counseling or honest talk about consequences or birth control...
Only if I suspected something dangerous was up. I may not even then either I may have another party skim through it to make sure. But my daughter is 4yo so I'm not at that bridge yet so I'm not sure if I would or not or hand it off to someone else to skim through & re assure me or tell me of any flags etc.
Fuck no. My kids deserve to have their privacy. Now, if something were wrong, I might consider it as a last resort, but I've had that done to me and it is the worst type of violation.
I will if it were to ever become necessary. I will also let her know that it could be a possibility.
My mom did it to me in front of family one time when I was about 11, it was very humiliating.
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