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No I do not want to listen to her brag about commiting fraud and getting everything handed to her

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

My situation - DH and I both work full time. He has a daughter from a previous relationship and I have a son from a previous relationship. He pays child support - as he should. My ex does not.

I pay 500 dollars a month in child care, 350 on a car payment, 85 on insurance, 600 a month in rent etc. etc.

We have one car, we live in a 2 bedroom condo, our bills are all paid, and sometimes we have a little something to put into savings.

We have Netflix instead of cable, we have prepaid phones instead of smart phones with contracts, I take the bus to work in the dead of winter to save money on gas.

We go on one "vacation" ( more like a weekend away) a year - In the past it's been an indoor water park ( 500 total, for hotel, admission, spending money and gas), and Niagara falls (400 total for Gas, attractions and camping fees)

I want a baby so bad is physically hurts to see another child. I found out almost 2 years ago that if I want to have another child, I would need to be on bedrest the entire pregnancy due to complications. That would require quitting my job, hiring a live in nanny to attend to my young son etc.I would lose my medical insurance, because I won't be working. My son will lose his - my husbands job offers it, but it's way too expensive - You get the picture

My sisters situation - Her DH works full time, making the same amount of money I make. They have 2 cars they just finished paying off and invested in a third vehicle. She's a stay at home mom. Right around the time I found out about the possibility that I may never have another baby, my sister announces that she's pregnant with baby number 3.

I was devastated and even more so when she asked meto be this baby's God mother - it was too much for me to handle at the moment.

She begins recieving Medicade and WIC and then they move into his families home. They are paying 300 a month for rent, but had his family lie and say they are paying 900 a month and all utilities - which the 300 a month is covering their lights and water - so they are really only paying for gas. She then begins recieving foodstamps. Mind you that have a 500 dollar a month Truck Payment -

They do not  have insurance on this truck ( or their other two vehicles) - which irritates me because it's against the law and you are violating a contract - but that a minor irritation that really won't affect me when they lose the truck. 

They have a satelite dish, brand new iphones, etc.

When I was talking to my sister on the phone the other day - I mentioned I was feeling guilty, because I hadn't bought DS a winter coat yet and I really needed to get him one before the weather takes an extreme drop ( BTW I ended up getting him one this weekend). She says " Oh I got all three of the kids new coats, boots, hats, scarves, gloves, and snow suits yesterday" - Og because you get everything in life handed to you!!!

My mom is mad at me, because I don't want to talk to my sister. Well when everytime I talk to her she's saying " Oh we went out to dinner at Red Lobster" , "Oh DD11 is in this EC, this EC and this EC and DS7 gets to do this and this and this and it only cost me 600 dollars" - and I can't afford the extra 80 dollars a month to send my son to karate - Why can't I afford this -?? Because I work full time, go to school full time, my husband works full time - We make too much for assistance and not enough to live like people that are on assistance

And I am not against assistance - I am just so sick and tired of hearing how good she has it, because she's one of the people that make everyone on assistance look bad. I know not everyone on assistance is like this and I think welfare is a wonderful program. I just get irritated when I see people misusing it. I am too moral of a person to lie to the government just to get a hand out - because I really feel that if you have to lie to get it, then it's a hand out, not a hand up.

If you truly need it, then please use it - but in this situation, it is not needed.

Posted by Anonymous on Oct. 12, 2012 at 11:38 AM
Replies (11-17):
by Silver Member on Oct. 12, 2012 at 12:02 PM
When you graduate school and you and hubby are making great money, they will still be where they are. They will not be able to buy their own home, they will never be able to take care if themselves if they don't work harder. You on the other hand, will someday be able to buy your 600$ whatever whenever you want. You will also be able to be proud if your accomplishments. She will not. She won't be able to say, look, I bought this because I worked so hard. You will own your home, and she will be fighting with the people she lives with, asking you if she can move in. Keep up the good work. Everything will work out in the end. If its not Workin out just right, right now, it's not the end.
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by Platinum Member on Oct. 12, 2012 at 12:04 PM

Sorry hun - I know how you feel.  Sometimes it really does feel like those of us in the middle get it from both ends - not poor enough to get help, not rich enough to do it ourselves.  Cheer up, things will look better for you.  People who depend on the system almost always trip themselves up eventually.  Then she'll be looking for a handout from you, and it will be your decision whether to give her one or not. 

by on Oct. 12, 2012 at 12:08 PM

I'm with nerdymom.  Stop whining about your sister and deal with your own life.  Figure out what needs to be done in order for you to have another baby.  And if you're that strapped financially, go after child support!

Quoting nerdymom28:

 Focus less on your sister's situation and more on your own. She's obviously not making the best choices, but there's nothing you can do about it. Take pride in the fact that you work for an honest living.


--- Unfit Parenting ---

Please, I'm a miserable troll, stop feeding me this delicious trollfood.

by Ruby Member on Oct. 12, 2012 at 12:09 PM
I agree.

Quoting RaynesMommy07:

You're too involved in your sisters life and for some reason you're taking her life very personal. While I don't condone what your sister is doing, you sound very jealous. If you want to live the life your sister does then live it. If not, then shut up and let her. It's none of your business. She's your sister. Trust me when I say, she's irreplaceable.
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by Silver Member on Oct. 12, 2012 at 12:12 PM

Is there anyway to turn her in for fraud?

by Anonymous 5 on Oct. 12, 2012 at 12:14 PM

I don't condone what your sister is doing, but you honestly sound jealous. Stop focusing on her life and worry about you own. Be proud of what you have accomplished and if you feel you want more - work harder for more. There will always be people in life who seem to have it easy, and other seem to have to struggle. 

by on Oct. 12, 2012 at 12:24 PM

you can get a surrogate, you can still use your egg and husbands sperm, you just wont need to be on bedrest

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