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Girl kills herself, she and her parents to blame

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post
http://www.vancouversun.com/technology/Vancouver+area+teen+commits+suicide+after+telling+story+being+cyberbullied+with+video/7375941/story.html

The mother of a teenager who died Wednesday of suspected suicide wants her daughter’s anti-cyber-bullying video to be used to help other young people.

Fifteen-year-old Amanda Todd was found dead in a Port Coquitlam home at 6 p.m. Wednesday, five weeks after she posted a heartbreaking video on YouTube detailing how she was harassed online and bullied.

“I think the video should be shared and used as an anti-bullying tool. That is what my daughter would have wanted,” Carol Todd, Amanda’s mother, told The Vancouver Sun in a message on Twitter.

Click here for ways to get help if you or someone you know is experiencing suicidal thoughts

By Friday morning, The Amanda Michelle Todd memorial Facebook page, created shortly after her death, had more than 2,500 "likes." An outpouring of support for the girl's friends and family were posted:

"She is a beautiful young lady. I am in tears over this," wrote Jennifer Fincher, while many other Facebook users said they hoped she was with angels in heaven.

But not all the chatter was positive. Mike Mace, whose own Facebook page says he is a member of the Canadian Military, faced a flurry of shaming comments after he posted a negative comment mocking her death.

In the comment, he suggests that it's not the bully's fault that she showed her breasts and gave out her private information on the Internet.

"You should be ashamed of yourself," wrote Amber Garofano, while another woman Ashley Soucy posted, "have a heart."

The tragedy has sparked much discussion online about cyber-bullying and what can be done to eradicate the problem.

The Vancouver Sun is joining in on that discussion. The Sun is hosting a day of dialogue on bullying at 1 p.m. and 4 p.m. on Facebook. Visit www.facebook.com/VancouverSun to join the talk.

Click here for more photos of Amanda Todd

In September, Amanda posted a video to YouTube entitled My Story: Struggling, bullying, suicide and self harm.

In it Amanda does not speak, but instead holds up to the camera pieces of paper on which she has printed her story, one phrase at a time. She documents a painful tale of being harassed through Facebook and shunned at school, leaving her feeling alone and suicidal.

It started in Grade 8, when an embarrassing photo was circulated to her relatives, friends and schoolmates. Amanda switched schools, but the bullying continued.

“I can never get that photo back,” she writes.

Later, she was confronted by a group of teens in front of her new school and beaten up, an attack that was filmed. Despondent, Amanda went home and drank bleach.

Her harassers posted photos of bleach and commented that they wished she was dead.

Near the end of the video, she writes: “Every day I think why am I still here? ... I have nobody. I need someone.”

In a message accompanying the video post, Amanda added: “I’m not doing this (video) for attention. I’m doing this to be an inspiration and to show that I can be strong.”

Premier Christy Clark posted a short video on YouTube Thursday sending her sympathies to Amanda’s family.

“I want to say to everyone who loved her, to all her family and friends, how sorry I am about her loss,” Clark — who spearheaded a ‘Pink Shirt Day’ anti-bullying campaign while she was a radio host — says in the video.

“No one deserves to be bullied. No one earns it. No one asks for it. It isn’t a rite of passage.

“Bullying has to stop.”

Click here for ways to get help if you or someone you know is experiencing suicidal thoughts

In 2008, the B.C. government declared an annual anti-bullying day, and Clark has advanced anti-bullying initiatives since becoming premier.

Amanda was a former cheerleader with the Vancouver All Stars squad based in her hometown of Port Coquitlam. She attended school there until the middle of Grade 8, when she moved to a Maple Ridge school. In February, she transferred to Coquitlam Alternate Basic Education (CABE) in Coquitlam.

Students and staff at Amanda’s school were grieving her death Thursday.

“It is a very sad case,” said Paul McNaughton, principal of CABE, where Amanda was in Grade 10.

“She was quite connected here. The staff and the students here are very much impacted. She had some very strong ties in the school and to staff in the school.

“I can tell you we feel we tried everything we could to help her when she came to us.”

In her video, Amanda says she moved schools in a futile attempt to escape her bullies.

Spokeswomen for the Maple Ridge and Coquitlam school districts would not discuss the case directly, but both said their districts take action when they receive bullying complaints.

Grief counsellors were speaking to students in both districts Thursday.

Dr. Tyler Black, a child and adolescent psychiatrist at B.C. Children’s Hospital, said the reasons people commit suicide are often very complex. He urged parents, educators and youth at risk of suicide to realize there is help through options such as www.youthinbc.com or 1-800-SUICIDE.

“The message is there are professionals there, there are people out there who can help.”

On a positive note, Black added, suicide among youth aged 10 to 24 dropped 25 per cent from 2000 to 2009.

Amanda joined YouTube on Sept. 6 and posted her video Sept. 7.

On Sept. 7, Amanda also uploaded a slide-show presentation called Cyber Bullying on Prezi.com, in which she gives advice on how to deal with such harassment.

In what could turn out to be her own very sad legacy, Amanda urged people to stand up to bullies and help victims:

“If you see that someone is being bullied, don’t be afraid to tell the bully to stop doing what they are doing. Make sure to tell them that it’s wrong and that they shouldn’t bully other kids.”

Amanda told parents “to always give your child emotional support” and to help them if they are being bullied.

B.C.’s education ministry announced last month that it will spend $2 million on a strategy called ERASE Bullying. The strategy includes a confidential online bullying reporting service that will allow students, school staff, parents and members of the public to make anonymous reports about potential or actual cases of school bullying and violence.

“My thoughts and prayers go to her family, I cannot even begin to imagine what they are going through. High school is supposed to be the best time of your life, not one where you fear for yourself every day. No one should have to feel the way she did,” wrote Breanna Lockhart Collins. “She was a beautiful young girl who went way too soon.”

In a post on its Facebook page, G Force Gym — home of the Vancouver All Stars cheerleaders — wrote:

“Today we feel the loss of our former VAS family member Amanda ... I ask that we all watch her video and share her story so that her loss is not in vain. Allow this to be her legacy ... Allow us all to look around & find the next Amanda before another precious spunky teenager is lost.”

Amanda’s video echoed another similar online story entitled My Story: Suicide and Bullying, which had been uploaded by Mollydoyle18 on YouTube. Commenting on Amanda’s video, Molly posted Wednesday:

“Rest in peace and fly high to Amanda Todd. I was just messaging her about almost a week ago, and I just found out that she has taken her life. She was asking me about how to be an inspiration to others and to get her video more views, and now I have found out that she has passed away ... This is a terrible tragedy. I wish she could have had her happy ending.

With files from Mike Hager

gshaw@vancouversun.com

lculbert@vancouversun.com

Click here to see more photos of Amanda Todd

Click here for ways to get help if you or someone you know is experiencing suicidal thoughts
Posted by Anonymous on Oct. 12, 2012 at 1:08 PM
Replies (11-20):
MrsMetalMama
by on Oct. 14, 2012 at 9:26 AM
This is sad. but her parents should have been more involved to help her out.
My prayers go out to her family
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Taynhannahsmom
by on Oct. 14, 2012 at 9:27 AM
I wish that these young kids could only realize that high school isn't forever. Those bullies fade and life goes on. Bullying should be taken more seriously and delt with more harshly. There needs to be hard consequences for bullies.
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mommysangelface
by Emerald Member on Oct. 14, 2012 at 9:31 AM
I agree.

Quoting Taynhannahsmom:

I wish that these young kids could only realize that high school isn't forever. Those bullies fade and life goes on. Bullying should be taken more seriously and delt with more harshly. There needs to be hard consequences for bullies.
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New.OrleansLady
by Platinum Member on Oct. 14, 2012 at 9:32 AM
2 moms liked this
There should be legal consequences for bullying like that.


Quoting MotherOF5Cuties:

My dd was telling me about this . She still getting hate msgs on fb even after her death

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MotherOF5Cuties
by Platinum Member on Oct. 14, 2012 at 9:32 AM
Oh I know it's sickening


Quoting connorsmommy120:

Ugh...that makes me sick! 

Quoting MotherOF5Cuties:

My dd was telling me about this . She still getting hate msgs on fb even after her death



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MotherOF5Cuties
by Platinum Member on Oct. 14, 2012 at 9:38 AM
Yes that's what I was thinking too when my dd was telling me about her yesterday.but I don't understand why there was nothing done about this. I guess the girl changed school numerals times and it's followed her to every school she went too.I guess she drank bleach to kill herself but she survived that n everyone was posting oh u should of drank more blah blah. I think the patents could of done more then move her from school to school


Quoting New.OrleansLady:

There should be legal consequences for bullying like that.




Quoting MotherOF5Cuties:

My dd was telling me about this . She still getting hate msgs on fb even after her death


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Byrd15
by on Oct. 14, 2012 at 9:38 AM

Its a very sad story... :(

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momto2boys973
by Ruby Member on Oct. 14, 2012 at 9:42 AM
I was bullied in high school and it sickens me that today, like back then, people still try to find what the bullied did to cause or encourage the bullying. It doesn't matter what you do, NO ONE deserves to be bullied. In my case, it was that I suffered from depression episodes and cried easily. So the idea was that maybe if I would stop crying so much, I wouldn't be bullied. BS. It wasn't my fault and I didn't ask for it.
Second thing that pisses me off is that back then, bullying was seen as "normal", you know, something kids just do. The school psychologist (a guy I would spit in the face even 20 years after leaving school, lol) suggested *I* should go to therapy, but did he suggest the bullies deal with their issues? No, because humiliating, hurting and torturing a person just for fun is "just what kids do". Feeling humiliated and hurt by that calls for therapy... I do think that view is changing, thankfully.
I do think, though, that school need to start getting tougher. Bullying needs to become a serious offense that could result in suspension or expulsion from school. We're still too soft on bullies, still try to fix the situation by positive means and the reality is talking doesn't stop a bully. Action does. And this is where the school and the authorities come in. If it were up to me, I would make bullying a crime along the lines of assault, but I know that's wishful thinking.

Sharon
New.OrleansLady
by Platinum Member on Oct. 14, 2012 at 9:56 AM
Man so sad. I'd assume though if they changed her schools they **should** have talked to the admin there and explained the issues. If it followed her I guess the only other option is homeschool but homeschool isn't cut out for everyone. It just sucks tht people can be that cold hearted. Luckily i havent really has to deal with bullying but when I was in middle school I had a girl tell tell me something about my hair. It was shoulder legnth and dark brown. My bangs were growing out so I just pulled bangs only up in a clip or something. She told me with my hair like that I looked like a dog with ears. Still to this day if I'm doing my hair and I don't pull enough up that's the first thing I think of.


Quoting MotherOF5Cuties:

Yes that's what I was thinking too when my dd was telling me about her yesterday.but I don't understand why there was nothing done about this. I guess the girl changed school numerals times and it's followed her to every school she went too.I guess she drank bleach to kill herself but she survived that n everyone was posting oh u should of drank more blah blah. I think the patents could of done more then move her from school to school




Quoting New.OrleansLady:

There should be legal consequences for bullying like that.






Quoting MotherOF5Cuties:

My dd was telling me about this . She still getting hate msgs on fb even after her death



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cherrywaves21
by on Oct. 14, 2012 at 9:58 AM
This.


Quoting hudson.maggie:

I still don't understand why her parents or the police did nothing.

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