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Girl kills herself, she and her parents to blame

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post
http://www.vancouversun.com/technology/Vancouver+area+teen+commits+suicide+after+telling+story+being+cyberbullied+with+video/7375941/story.html

The mother of a teenager who died Wednesday of suspected suicide wants her daughter’s anti-cyber-bullying video to be used to help other young people.

Fifteen-year-old Amanda Todd was found dead in a Port Coquitlam home at 6 p.m. Wednesday, five weeks after she posted a heartbreaking video on YouTube detailing how she was harassed online and bullied.

“I think the video should be shared and used as an anti-bullying tool. That is what my daughter would have wanted,” Carol Todd, Amanda’s mother, told The Vancouver Sun in a message on Twitter.

Click here for ways to get help if you or someone you know is experiencing suicidal thoughts

By Friday morning, The Amanda Michelle Todd memorial Facebook page, created shortly after her death, had more than 2,500 "likes." An outpouring of support for the girl's friends and family were posted:

"She is a beautiful young lady. I am in tears over this," wrote Jennifer Fincher, while many other Facebook users said they hoped she was with angels in heaven.

But not all the chatter was positive. Mike Mace, whose own Facebook page says he is a member of the Canadian Military, faced a flurry of shaming comments after he posted a negative comment mocking her death.

In the comment, he suggests that it's not the bully's fault that she showed her breasts and gave out her private information on the Internet.

"You should be ashamed of yourself," wrote Amber Garofano, while another woman Ashley Soucy posted, "have a heart."

The tragedy has sparked much discussion online about cyber-bullying and what can be done to eradicate the problem.

The Vancouver Sun is joining in on that discussion. The Sun is hosting a day of dialogue on bullying at 1 p.m. and 4 p.m. on Facebook. Visit www.facebook.com/VancouverSun to join the talk.

Click here for more photos of Amanda Todd

In September, Amanda posted a video to YouTube entitled My Story: Struggling, bullying, suicide and self harm.

In it Amanda does not speak, but instead holds up to the camera pieces of paper on which she has printed her story, one phrase at a time. She documents a painful tale of being harassed through Facebook and shunned at school, leaving her feeling alone and suicidal.

It started in Grade 8, when an embarrassing photo was circulated to her relatives, friends and schoolmates. Amanda switched schools, but the bullying continued.

“I can never get that photo back,” she writes.

Later, she was confronted by a group of teens in front of her new school and beaten up, an attack that was filmed. Despondent, Amanda went home and drank bleach.

Her harassers posted photos of bleach and commented that they wished she was dead.

Near the end of the video, she writes: “Every day I think why am I still here? ... I have nobody. I need someone.”

In a message accompanying the video post, Amanda added: “I’m not doing this (video) for attention. I’m doing this to be an inspiration and to show that I can be strong.”

Premier Christy Clark posted a short video on YouTube Thursday sending her sympathies to Amanda’s family.

“I want to say to everyone who loved her, to all her family and friends, how sorry I am about her loss,” Clark — who spearheaded a ‘Pink Shirt Day’ anti-bullying campaign while she was a radio host — says in the video.

“No one deserves to be bullied. No one earns it. No one asks for it. It isn’t a rite of passage.

“Bullying has to stop.”

Click here for ways to get help if you or someone you know is experiencing suicidal thoughts

In 2008, the B.C. government declared an annual anti-bullying day, and Clark has advanced anti-bullying initiatives since becoming premier.

Amanda was a former cheerleader with the Vancouver All Stars squad based in her hometown of Port Coquitlam. She attended school there until the middle of Grade 8, when she moved to a Maple Ridge school. In February, she transferred to Coquitlam Alternate Basic Education (CABE) in Coquitlam.

Students and staff at Amanda’s school were grieving her death Thursday.

“It is a very sad case,” said Paul McNaughton, principal of CABE, where Amanda was in Grade 10.

“She was quite connected here. The staff and the students here are very much impacted. She had some very strong ties in the school and to staff in the school.

“I can tell you we feel we tried everything we could to help her when she came to us.”

In her video, Amanda says she moved schools in a futile attempt to escape her bullies.

Spokeswomen for the Maple Ridge and Coquitlam school districts would not discuss the case directly, but both said their districts take action when they receive bullying complaints.

Grief counsellors were speaking to students in both districts Thursday.

Dr. Tyler Black, a child and adolescent psychiatrist at B.C. Children’s Hospital, said the reasons people commit suicide are often very complex. He urged parents, educators and youth at risk of suicide to realize there is help through options such as www.youthinbc.com or 1-800-SUICIDE.

“The message is there are professionals there, there are people out there who can help.”

On a positive note, Black added, suicide among youth aged 10 to 24 dropped 25 per cent from 2000 to 2009.

Amanda joined YouTube on Sept. 6 and posted her video Sept. 7.

On Sept. 7, Amanda also uploaded a slide-show presentation called Cyber Bullying on Prezi.com, in which she gives advice on how to deal with such harassment.

In what could turn out to be her own very sad legacy, Amanda urged people to stand up to bullies and help victims:

“If you see that someone is being bullied, don’t be afraid to tell the bully to stop doing what they are doing. Make sure to tell them that it’s wrong and that they shouldn’t bully other kids.”

Amanda told parents “to always give your child emotional support” and to help them if they are being bullied.

B.C.’s education ministry announced last month that it will spend $2 million on a strategy called ERASE Bullying. The strategy includes a confidential online bullying reporting service that will allow students, school staff, parents and members of the public to make anonymous reports about potential or actual cases of school bullying and violence.

“My thoughts and prayers go to her family, I cannot even begin to imagine what they are going through. High school is supposed to be the best time of your life, not one where you fear for yourself every day. No one should have to feel the way she did,” wrote Breanna Lockhart Collins. “She was a beautiful young girl who went way too soon.”

In a post on its Facebook page, G Force Gym — home of the Vancouver All Stars cheerleaders — wrote:

“Today we feel the loss of our former VAS family member Amanda ... I ask that we all watch her video and share her story so that her loss is not in vain. Allow this to be her legacy ... Allow us all to look around & find the next Amanda before another precious spunky teenager is lost.”

Amanda’s video echoed another similar online story entitled My Story: Suicide and Bullying, which had been uploaded by Mollydoyle18 on YouTube. Commenting on Amanda’s video, Molly posted Wednesday:

“Rest in peace and fly high to Amanda Todd. I was just messaging her about almost a week ago, and I just found out that she has taken her life. She was asking me about how to be an inspiration to others and to get her video more views, and now I have found out that she has passed away ... This is a terrible tragedy. I wish she could have had her happy ending.

With files from Mike Hager

gshaw@vancouversun.com

lculbert@vancouversun.com

Click here to see more photos of Amanda Todd

Click here for ways to get help if you or someone you know is experiencing suicidal thoughts
Posted by Anonymous on Oct. 12, 2012 at 1:08 PM
Replies (21-30):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Oct. 14, 2012 at 9:59 AM
1 mom liked this
After all the "talking" my school did and nothing changed and no one was going to protect me, I fought back. By any means necessary. It wasn't until I freaked out one day and beat the SHIT out of two of my bullies that things stopped and the main group stopped. Then I had to do the same to a few other people who would NOT stop. Sometimes, you HAVE to fight back. You have too. People say violence is not the answer. I say fuck that. When your tormented and the adults around you dismiss what's going on and fail to protect you, fighting is the only option you have left. And it's effective and much better than killing yourself, or bringing a gun to school and killing all those who hurt you. Don't forget about those kids who commit murder after being bullied that still happens.
MotherOF5Cuties
by Abby on Oct. 14, 2012 at 10:02 AM
Wow that's crazy. Kids are so mean.


Quoting New.OrleansLady:

Man so sad. I'd assume though if they changed her schools they **should** have talked to the admin there and explained the issues. If it followed her I guess the only other option is homeschool but homeschool isn't cut out for everyone. It just sucks tht people can be that cold hearted. Luckily i havent really has to deal with bullying but when I was in middle school I had a girl tell tell me something about my hair. It was shoulder legnth and dark brown. My bangs were growing out so I just pulled bangs only up in a clip or something. She told me with my hair like that I looked like a dog with ears. Still to this day if I'm doing my hair and I don't pull enough up that's the first thing I think of.




Quoting MotherOF5Cuties:

Yes that's what I was thinking too when my dd was telling me about her yesterday.but I don't understand why there was nothing done about this. I guess the girl changed school numerals times and it's followed her to every school she went too.I guess she drank bleach to kill herself but she survived that n everyone was posting oh u should of drank more blah blah. I think the patents could of done more then move her from school to school






Quoting New.OrleansLady:

There should be legal consequences for bullying like that.








Quoting MotherOF5Cuties:

My dd was telling me about this . She still getting hate msgs on fb even after her death




Posted on CafeMom Mobile
NikkiDoll
by Platinum Member on Oct. 14, 2012 at 10:06 AM

 

Quoting cherrywaves21:

This.


Quoting hudson.maggie:

I still don't understand why her parents or the police did nothing.

 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Oct. 14, 2012 at 10:08 AM
I'm terrified to send my kids to highschool. With Internet bullying and passing pictures through texts.
Luna091306
by on Oct. 14, 2012 at 10:11 AM
Right? It's too late now.

Quoting -42-:

Where was all of this great support and shit when she was alive?


Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Oct. 14, 2012 at 10:12 AM
1 mom liked this
This is horrible. I can't understand why the girl was apparently allowed unsupervised Internet access after the first incident. Why was she still on Facebook, checking her tormentors daily? When she moved schools, she should have had her Internet and cell phone cut. Period.
IntactivistMama
by on Oct. 14, 2012 at 10:12 AM

Fuck! :(

Quoting MotherOF5Cuties:

My dd was telling me about this . She still getting hate msgs on fb even after her death


Kellyjude1
by Silver Member on Oct. 14, 2012 at 10:15 AM

   I cannot imagine what this poor girl went through.  The ones who bullied her now need to be charged or have some consequence.  Bullying needs to stop no child should ever have to go through this in life.  Her parents may not have known what was going on.  Some children keep the bullying inside and tell  nobody.  The effects are horrific for the one being bullied.  I hope the ones who bullied this poor girl now realize how extreme this can be.  My heart goes out to this girl and her family. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 5 on Oct. 14, 2012 at 10:16 AM
I saw this on the morning news a couple days ago. Really sad. When someones problems become greater than their will to live or resources to cope, suicide is the only answer.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 6 on Oct. 14, 2012 at 10:24 AM
1 mom liked this

Kids need to quit turning to suicide as an answer to all of life's problems. I'm so over hearing about this crap on the news. Her parents should of told her more in depth about what happens when you do things on the Internet. That once something is said  or done you can't take it back or pretend like it didn't happen, because it will always follow you. Second, her parents should of cut off all internet activity. Shut down her FB account and only let her on to do homework if need be. Hell I'm sure a lot of us used encyclopedias and most of us passed H.S.  

Almost everyone in life is "bullied" at some point or another. It's all how you deal with it. Maybe if society wasn't about bowing down and being submissive to our children and we made them toughen up a bit we wouldn't have such crybaby's and I could watch real news story's and not some shit about some 15 year old girl wanting to act like a skank on the Internet who got busted acting like a skank and didn't want to deal with the repercussions.

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