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Buy your own food!! ***update***

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 46 Replies
Our 20 year old son. Lives at home still. He works long hours and has a girlfriend. So he isn't home often. We are on a limited income, I don't work due to a surgery I had and my employer actually fired me while I was in the hospital. DH and I are trying to pay the medical bills and all our debt off by the end of next year, so when we transfer for the Army, we will be debt free.

DS knows all of this. He makes 30,000 a year. When he is home all he does is eat. He eats all the cereal and snacks. And then packs a lunch.

Is it wrong of me to tell him to buy his own food??

***first, thank you ladies for all the replies and support! I greatly appreciate it. One of the reason I was questioning what to do, is because whn we transfer next year DS is staying because of his job. He won't have a choice but to get his own place. But, until then, you ladies are correct he needs to start providing for himself a bit.

We are going to tell him to pay for his own cell phone, half of his car insurance and 200 for food. This comes to 400 a month. In turn we will put 100 up each month for him without him knowing. When we transfer he will have a security deposit for a place.

Thank you again!
Posted by Anonymous on Oct. 12, 2012 at 4:16 PM
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Replies (1-10):
mich.el.le
by on Oct. 12, 2012 at 4:17 PM
8 moms liked this

 No. I'd expect him to pay rent too.

meparty
by on Oct. 12, 2012 at 4:17 PM

STOP BUYING FOOD FOR HIM!

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Oct. 12, 2012 at 4:19 PM
1 mom liked this
Quoting mich.el.le:

 No. I'd expect him to pay rent too.




I've been thinking about that also. He had the opportunity to get his own place. But said he wanted to save more money first. Meanwhile, he doesn't have any bills an eats for free.
PeaceLoveZ
by Platinum Member on Oct. 12, 2012 at 4:19 PM

I know alot of parents who charge their children rent, you could just do that, charge him a monthly rate and put it towards food and other utilites. My mom did that to my sister & my dad did it to my brother (brother was PISSED, cos they just started his rent at age 25). My other 2 brothers and myself never had to though.

JC2223
by Gold Member on Oct. 12, 2012 at 4:19 PM
1 mom liked this

 I agree. He's an adult with a good job that pays him well. He should be contributing to the household.

Quoting mich.el.le:

 No. I'd expect him to pay rent too.

 

kattu
by on Oct. 12, 2012 at 4:20 PM
Yup.

Quoting mich.el.le:

 No. I'd expect him to pay rent too.

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Anonymous
by Anonymous on Oct. 12, 2012 at 4:24 PM

No.  At 18 we paid room and board unless we were full time students (college summers excluded).  Not tons, and still cheaper to stay there then move out.  But it taught us that nothing's free (a few Obama supporters could use that lesson, but I digress) and gave my parents some money to sock away in their retirement fund.  I actually remember counting out the cash that I made at a restaurant (during the year I took off between undergrad and law school) to give Mom her share.  It was the first thing I paid each month, then my car payment, then my car insurance.

ColieO
by Ruby Member on Oct. 12, 2012 at 4:25 PM
Tell him to pay up or move out.
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081499
by Bronze Member on Oct. 12, 2012 at 4:26 PM

Nope.  He should be paying for his own food and rent.  

Miranda1127
by Gold Member on Oct. 12, 2012 at 4:29 PM
2 moms liked this

 Why not just charge him rent? Pick a number that you think is fair for room and board and tell him if he wants to continue to live there he is expected to pay you that amount on the first of every month. He is a grown man, grown men pay to live. They are not supported by mommy and daddy.

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