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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

EDIT! My sister had a stroke, I am worried because she says she does not like Doctors and thinks they are quacks so now what?

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

My mom constantly calls and tells me I should be more like my sister who runs like 3 miles a day, works 70 hours a week (she is not married and does not have kids tho, has a bf tho, never wants kids) and she does not take any medications for anxiety, she says they are all bad and horrid for you! Well I am overweight and she calls my mom daily and tells my mom I'm gonna die (and my mom is a worry wart so this is bs of her to do) she tells my mom its bad that I take xanax and temazapam I take in the evenings, that I should deal with having anxiety, these drugs will kill me! And she complains me being a mother and in college isn't enough I should work harder like her and have multiple jobs. Well now she had a minor stroke. Guess who I am not taking health advice from???? I am glad she is okay, but she seriously called my mom yesterday bitching that xanax is evil still because my mom is starting it. Umm maybe if she would not work so hard and admit she had some anxiety issues she wouldn't have had a stroke. I understand she thinks she is perfect because she works so hard, but she needs to take it easy, and she is giving my mom bad advice. I said to my mom today, umm she had a minor stroke last week! Who are you gonna listen to? Your Dr, and someone who has taken the medicine as needed for years or someone who obviously has too much stress? My mom filled her script. Thank god. Please everyone pray for my sister her name is Tanya that she sees the light and stops overworking before she has a MAJOR stroke. I don't know why she thinks she has to be perfect and everyone else does...its so sad.

EDIT---THE MAJOR REASON I am worried is she is the type of person she says she knows better than Doctors. She has been saying this for years. If she is not gonna take their advice, or who knows what then she could have a major stroke. Anyone thinking this post was about sibling resentment, well you misunderstood. I just don't want her giving my sick mother advice (my mom is unhealthy, mentally, and is starting to have some physical issues) I want my mom to TRUST Doctors. And I really feel like it's a bad thing that my sister will not listen to Doctors. Like I said BEFORE PLEASE keep her in your thoughts and prayers, and my mother too. Neither of them are doing well, and I wish for them BOTH to be healthy, and trust their Doctor.

Let me add...my sister teaches BALLET. She has been in BALLET her whole life, she still does some Ballets which she struggles with at her age still getting into some, but it is her passion, and she is naturally not stick thin. Everyone knows that Ballet has a reputation for making women feel bad about their bodies if they don't live up to a certain standard. My sister is always on a diet when I see her despite the fact she works out like a mad woman. I think it is time for a talk. Thank you everyone who sent warm wishes.

Posted by Anonymous on Oct. 12, 2012 at 11:47 PM
Replies (31-40):
chairhead28
by Gold Member on Oct. 13, 2012 at 12:56 AM
Quoting Anonymous:




I am on my tab, so that is most likely why.

Yes, exercised induced bulimia could be something your sister may be engaging in. OR she might just be someone that is high strung, anxious, likes to keep busy and exercise. Some people are just wired that way. Unless she wants help for it (if it is infact the case), there is not really snything you can do ut be there for her. Most people, when they are doing things to an extreme need to have a "rock bottom" so to speak, to wake up. Apparently, her having that stroke did not spark anything to make her change her habits.
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Oct. 13, 2012 at 12:59 AM

I don't think you are getting how many calories she is probably burning in a day in relation to calories she takes in, and she is stick thin.

That is why I am worried. She is over doing it. I know that is she eating, I always just sort of thought she should slow down on the exercise but I guess she could just up her eating. I know she is definitely NOT eating for the amount she is exercising. Trust me I have spent days with her, she does not eat a lot, so for running 3 miles in the morning, and then teaching dance class 4 hours a night sometimes  that is NOT enough.

Quoting OneToughMami:

They would only tell her that if it is clearly causing a health problem. But that seems rare otherwise a large percentage of America would be sitting on the couch...I mean a larger percentage.

Quoting 702girly:

I really doubt her doctors will tell her to stop exercising or stop working.

Quoting Anonymous:

Well I guess you are right, she has thought she has been my Dr the last several years, she calls and tells me what to do since she is a massage therapist she is qualified to tell me what to take and what not to over my Dr. She thinks because she slightly studied the body she shouldn't listen to any Doctors, she told my mom and I both Doctors are quacks. So no matter what her Doctor tells her, I don't know if she will even listen. I just pray she does.

Quoting 702girly:

ummm obviously you are not a doctor. You have no idea what caused her stroke.

Quoting Anonymous:

umm she had a stroke. Obviously she is working too hard.

Quoting 702girly:

She need a wake up call because she's too healthy and productive?

eye rolling







Aleta775
by on Oct. 13, 2012 at 1:00 AM

For as active as your sister is, it sounds like she could be eating a little more. Even Olympic athletes eat a lot of food, because of the amount of calories they burn. There is a point in which a person can exercise too much, and not eat enough. It can happen and with some people it is a form of OCD. Since your sister is not listening to doctors, then it is hard to say how much she might be over doing it. I'll keep her in my thoughts. At the very least, she should be seeing a doctor on a regular basis to avoid another stroke.

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Oct. 13, 2012 at 1:03 AM

Since my mom had the eating disorder, and she fought with it and won, and she is a lot closer to my sister I think I will bring this up to my mom and the idea that it is possible. That either way maybe my mom can bring some light to the situation for my sister that if she enjoys exercising so much and she wants to do that she can eat more, I know body builders do it. But what she is currently doing is not healthy. Thanks, this has been helpful. I never really thought about it, I heard about women exercising as a means of ED before but never someone I knew. I have friends who have had anorexia and bulemia, but never someone who had this issue so it just never came to mind. I will def talk with my mom about it, like I said either way my sister hopefully will make a change, just like I am making a change to make myself thinner in a healthy way, hopefully she will make herself a healthy weight. And btw I am glad you got better! I know how hard an ED is, my best friend had one, and like I said my mom did. Best wishes.

Quoting chairhead28:

Quoting Anonymous:




I am on my tab, so that is most likely why.

Yes, exercised induced bulimia could be something your sister may be engaging in. OR she might just be someone that is high strung, anxious, likes to keep busy and exercise. Some people are just wired that way. Unless she wants help for it (if it is infact the case), there is not really snything you can do ut be there for her. Most people, when they are doing things to an extreme need to have a "rock bottom" so to speak, to wake up. Apparently, her having that stroke did not spark anything to make her change her habits.


Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Oct. 13, 2012 at 1:05 AM

Thank you, this is what I am thinking too. I am going to have my mom approach the topic with her first and see how she reacts. Hopefully it goes well. She can continue exercising if she likes it, I should not dictate to her that she can't, that is wrong, but she does need to eat more.

Quoting Aleta775:

For as active as your sister is, it sounds like she could be eating a little more. Even Olympic athletes eat a lot of food, because of the amount of calories they burn. There is a point in which a person can exercise too much, and not eat enough. It can happen and with some people it is a form of OCD. Since your sister is not listening to doctors, then it is hard to say how much she might be over doing it. I'll keep her in my thoughts. At the very least, she should be seeing a doctor on a regular basis to avoid another stroke.


ashellbell
by Gold Member on Oct. 13, 2012 at 1:09 AM
I mean your resentment you have towards your sister. You almost seem happy that it happened.


Quoting Anonymous:

Hey I recognize I am not perfect thus I am making changes in my diet, and I have incorporated exercise into my routine slowly. I need to take off 50 lbs. Obviously I am not perfect, I have an anxiety disorder. That is the definition of imperfect.

Quoting ashellbell:

You sound like you have some issues you need to work on.



Posted on CafeMom Mobile
chairhead28
by Gold Member on Oct. 13, 2012 at 1:10 AM
Quoting Anonymous:




I would definitely bring it up to your mother. She may be able to help and see things in a different way because she has been there. A lot of the times parents with EDs do not even notice it is going on because even if they are recovered, there is always that nagging in thr back of your head....

I have gone to several ED residential facilities and hospitals and out patient treatment as well... It has been a long, long, long twenty years and I still face it daily. I do not know if it ever goes away. And, I could be completely wrong about your sister..but, just reading what you wrote reminded me a lot of me. I was working over 80 hours a week, taking five college courses, drove four hours to a hospital to see my dad every weekend, etc., etc., etc.... I would lie and go work out for ten hours a day..not eating anything but diet soda and coffee. For weeks at a time... Sooner or later your body gives up on you and that may have been what happened to your sister.

At any rate, I hope she can at least slow down for her healths sake. She might need reassurance from people in your family that IT IS OKAY to take a break. People with her mentality literally do NOT think it is okay to just slooooow down. I stil have trouble with that.
OneToughMami
by Ruby Member on Oct. 13, 2012 at 1:14 AM

She is probably eating more that you think.

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Oct. 13, 2012 at 1:17 AM

What the fuck? HELL NO. Amy...umm hell no...

I don't resent my sister at all. I am worried about her. I am worried because she thinks she knows everything and is always saying Doctors don't know anything and can't be trusted and now she has a stroke, so wtf are we gonna do?!?!? And what's worse is my mom is getting old and sick and I don't want my mom taking her advice thus the title for the post, but honestly the post shouldn't have even had my mom's name in it, because my mom isn't gonna die tomorrow, neither is my sister, but I AM worried about both of them.

Quoting ashellbell:

I mean your resentment you have towards your sister. You almost seem happy that it happened.


Quoting Anonymous:

Hey I recognize I am not perfect thus I am making changes in my diet, and I have incorporated exercise into my routine slowly. I need to take off 50 lbs. Obviously I am not perfect, I have an anxiety disorder. That is the definition of imperfect.

Quoting ashellbell:

You sound like you have some issues you need to work on.




helema24
by on Oct. 13, 2012 at 1:21 AM

 kitten hug. reply

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