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If you aren't married, then you aren't a family

Why do people have this mentality? If you are residing together with children, then it's a family.

If you look up the definition of family, here's what you get:


a. A fundamental social group in society typically consisting of one or two parents and their children.
b. Two or more people who share goals and values, have long-term commitments to one another, and reside usually in the same dwelling place.
2. All the members of a household under one roof.
3. A group of persons sharing common ancestry. See Usage Note at collective noun.

Why are people so concerned with how others live their life?
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
by on Oct. 13, 2012 at 11:05 AM
Replies (21-30):
Tea4Tas
by on Oct. 14, 2012 at 8:07 AM

There is a legal definition of family. There has to be. So Mom and 2 kids and her boyfriend could be considered a family-but not legally. AFTER they get married then and only then does the Boyfriend have any kind of legal connection to the kids.

For tax purposes there are also legal family definitions.

What you feel is a family and what the government considers a family are 2 different things.

Mom and Boyfriend and her 2 kids and his 2 kids would seem to be a family-but the reality is, in the event of the death of either parent, it's unlikely that they will remain a family.  SS survivor benefits will not be issued to the remaining Adult-only to the children.

rjsmommy214
by Silver Member on Oct. 14, 2012 at 8:09 AM

i agree with you OP.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Oct. 14, 2012 at 8:11 AM

No you are definitely a family!

If you arent married then you are not legally his wife though.

If you want to be his wife or call yourself wife you should legally get married is all.If you are happy unmarried than be the proud girlfriend or fiance with a family.What is wrong with saying your his girlfriend when you are?

 

MommyAddie
by Platinum Member on Oct. 14, 2012 at 8:11 AM
1 mom liked this
Haha. I am one of those moms who doesn't have a house, I have an assylum.

Quoting Ninjabubble:

I don't have a family. I have weirdos residing in my house.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
rjsmommy214
by Silver Member on Oct. 14, 2012 at 8:12 AM

A father doesn't have a legal connection to his child unless he married to the mother? I'm confused on this one. SO can do anything I can for DS. He claims DS on his taxes as well. I'd think if anything I'd be the one having issues because I do not share a last name with my son. He is a jr.

Quoting Tea4Tas:

There is a legal definition of family. There has to be. So Mom and 2 kids and her boyfriend could be considered a family-but not legally. AFTER they get married then and only then does the Boyfriend have any kind of legal connection to the kids.

For tax purposes there are also legal family definitions.

What you feel is a family and what the government considers a family are 2 different things.

Mom and Boyfriend and her 2 kids and his 2 kids would seem to be a family-but the reality is, in the event of the death of either parent, it's unlikely that they will remain a family.  SS survivor benefits will not be issued to the remaining Adult-only to the children.


HIJKLM
by Ruby Member on Oct. 14, 2012 at 8:15 AM
2 moms liked this
I'm not married. The kids aren't his. We're still a family. Anyone who thinks otherwise can kiss my ass.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
HIJKLM
by Ruby Member on Oct. 14, 2012 at 8:19 AM
1 mom liked this
LOL. Mine's a zoo. 3 kids, 1 man-child, a dog, 2 cats, a snake, 2 frogs, and a ton of fish. Yup, a zoo.

Quoting MommyAddie:

Haha. I am one of those moms who doesn't have a house, I have an assylum.



Quoting Ninjabubble:

I don't have a family. I have weirdos residing in my house.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous 5 on Oct. 14, 2012 at 8:22 AM
I have no blood family besides ds, dh and mil that now lives with us here. So we have friends that are family. We do some holidays with them and have cookouts. We have always said in our house you don't have to be blood to be family.
ChutterButter
by Bronze Member on Oct. 14, 2012 at 8:22 AM

I have a lot of family and most of them aren't blood related or related by marriage. Family is the feeling and connection you share with another not the heritage, blood line, or inlaw. 


HIJKLM
by Ruby Member on Oct. 14, 2012 at 8:30 AM
Before I finally caved and got engaged DF put me as the beneficiary on his life insurance, we have a durable power of attorney in place for both of us, we've drawn up guardianship docs over the children, he can legally claim all of us on his taxes, so no, being married is not the ONLY way he has those legal rights. The only difference between the way we have things set up and being married is he has to file his taxes as single-not married and he doesn't get the married discount on insurance and that without the guardianship he would have no legal rights to my children in the event I died even if we were married.

Quoting Tea4Tas:

There is a legal definition of family. There has to be. So Mom and 2 kids and her boyfriend could be considered a family-but not legally. AFTER they get married then and only then does the Boyfriend have any kind of legal connection to the kids.

For tax purposes there are also legal family definitions.

What you feel is a family and what the government considers a family are 2 different things.

Mom and Boyfriend and her 2 kids and his 2 kids would seem to be a family-but the reality is, in the event of the death of either parent, it's unlikely that they will remain a family.  SS survivor benefits will not be issued to the remaining Adult-only to the children.

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
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