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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

If you aren't married, then you aren't a family

Why do people have this mentality? If you are residing together with children, then it's a family.

If you look up the definition of family, here's what you get:


a. A fundamental social group in society typically consisting of one or two parents and their children.
b. Two or more people who share goals and values, have long-term commitments to one another, and reside usually in the same dwelling place.
2. All the members of a household under one roof.
3. A group of persons sharing common ancestry. See Usage Note at collective noun.

Why are people so concerned with how others live their life?
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by on Oct. 13, 2012 at 11:05 AM
Replies (41-50):
justpeachy71904
by peachy on Oct. 14, 2012 at 9:18 AM
My now husband and I had never planned to marry. We had the mindset after 7yrs that if it isn't broken don't fix it. We were fine and life was good. And we were a family. But after a legal battle with dd's bio dad we had to go through with marriage and adoption. Long story short, marriage doesn't make you a family, love does. And love is a powerful thing. Commitment is a powerful thing.
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mommyrebecca
by Member on Oct. 14, 2012 at 9:23 AM
Family is a group of people who won't judge you, won't discriminate agaunst you, won't leave you behind, take you in out of the could, hug you and love you before anyone else. Care for you. Family is love and warmth. What does it have to do with marriage??? If parents would like to marry, tis their choice but family is a bond that no minister can create and without a ring to hold it together. Family can be separated or together or lost.. but one thing is for sure here YOU ARE THE MENTAL ONE FOR THINKING THIS. Family is family no matter what your opinion is.


You meaning,,,anyone who thinks so...srry
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HIJKLM
by Ruby Member on Oct. 14, 2012 at 9:37 AM
1 mom liked this
My ex's rights have been removed by the court. My fiancé can claim my children because they are considered a qualifying dependent.

"Child of person not required to file a return. A child is not the qualifying child of any other taxpayer and so may qualify as your qualifying relative if the child's parent (or other person for whom the child is defined as a qualifying child) is not required to file an income tax return and either: Does not file an income tax return, or Files a return only to get a refund of income tax withheld or estimated tax paid."

Since I am a SAHM, my ex can not claim my children, we live with DF all year and he provides 100% of their support he can legally claim my children. We do not qualify for the EITC so I'm not sure how that would affect qualifying status.

As for the guardianship, we have that in place to give him rights to act on their behalf in legal or medical matters, not for tax purposes.


Quoting Tea4Tas:



Quoting HIJKLM:

Before I finally caved and got engaged DF put me as the beneficiary on his life insurance, we have a durable power of attorney in place for both of us, we've drawn up guardianship docs over the children, he can legally claim all of us on his taxes, so no, being married is not the ONLY way he has those legal rights. The only difference between the way we have things set up and being married is he has to file his taxes as single-not married and he doesn't get the married discount on insurance and that without the guardianship he would have no legal rights to my children in the event I died even if we were married.



Quoting Tea4Tas:

There is a legal definition of family. There has to be. So Mom and 2 kids and her boyfriend could be considered a family-but not legally. AFTER they get married then and only then does the Boyfriend have any kind of legal connection to the kids.

For tax purposes there are also legal family definitions.

What you feel is a family and what the government considers a family are 2 different things.

Mom and Boyfriend and her 2 kids and his 2 kids would seem to be a family-but the reality is, in the event of the death of either parent, it's unlikely that they will remain a family.  SS survivor benefits will not be issued to the remaining Adult-only to the children.

That doesn't work unless their Bio Dad has signed away his rights. Nor can you collect his SS survivor benefits.  Nor can he legally claim those kids unless-according to the IRS

Qualifying Children
To be claimed as a qualifying child, the person must meet four criteria:

Relationship — the person must be your child, step child, adopted child, foster child, brother or sister, or a descendant of one of these (for example, a grandchild or nephew).


So unless he adopted them-he is breaking the law and committing tax fraud.

Now he will likely never get caught unless their BIO Dad or you also attempted to claim them. But if he is getting EITC and gets caught-that's gonna hurt.

I don't know who told you that guardianship doucuments are enough-but read the IRS website yourself-they are NOT enough. He needs to adopt the kids. OR marry you.


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Anonymous
by Anonymous on Oct. 14, 2012 at 9:38 AM

All family dynamics are different.  People are just to nosey.

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Oct. 14, 2012 at 9:41 AM
Bump
SevenKisses
by on Oct. 14, 2012 at 9:42 AM

My household is a family. So are just me and my son together. We live with my mom and my 4 siblings.

Tink0711
by Silver Member on Oct. 14, 2012 at 9:43 AM
1 mom liked this
This morning, I have little monsters. They're all just waking up & I've been up for hours. Time for my nap.
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ktnova
by on Oct. 14, 2012 at 9:53 AM

I would think its one of 2 things. 1- The general idea of a family in a home is 2 parents with children. (most just say "husband" if there aren't kids involved.) Anymore though this generally also includes other family members or friends as well. 2- If you consider them family then others generally will accept your view but if a distinction is made "Our FRIEND so and so" again they will follow suite. 

The last question: Probably due to their bored. 

Tea4Tas
by Ruby Member on Oct. 14, 2012 at 9:55 AM


Quoting HIJKLM:

My ex's rights have been removed by the court. My fiancé can claim my children because they are considered a qualifying dependent.

"Child of person not required to file a return. A child is not the qualifying child of any other taxpayer and so may qualify as your qualifying relative if the child's parent (or other person for whom the child is defined as a qualifying child) is not required to file an income tax return and either: Does not file an income tax return, or Files a return only to get a refund of income tax withheld or estimated tax paid."

Since I am a SAHM, my ex can not claim my children, we live with DF all year and he provides 100% of their support he can legally claim my children. We do not qualify for the EITC so I'm not sure how that would affect qualifying status.

As for the guardianship, we have that in place to give him rights to act on their behalf in legal or medical matters, not for tax purposes.


Quoting Tea4Tas:



Quoting HIJKLM:

Before I finally caved and got engaged DF put me as the beneficiary on his life insurance, we have a durable power of attorney in place for both of us, we've drawn up guardianship docs over the children, he can legally claim all of us on his taxes, so no, being married is not the ONLY way he has those legal rights. The only difference between the way we have things set up and being married is he has to file his taxes as single-not married and he doesn't get the married discount on insurance and that without the guardianship he would have no legal rights to my children in the event I died even if we were married.



Quoting Tea4Tas:

There is a legal definition of family. There has to be. So Mom and 2 kids and her boyfriend could be considered a family-but not legally. AFTER they get married then and only then does the Boyfriend have any kind of legal connection to the kids.

For tax purposes there are also legal family definitions.

What you feel is a family and what the government considers a family are 2 different things.

Mom and Boyfriend and her 2 kids and his 2 kids would seem to be a family-but the reality is, in the event of the death of either parent, it's unlikely that they will remain a family.  SS survivor benefits will not be issued to the remaining Adult-only to the children.

That doesn't work unless their Bio Dad has signed away his rights. Nor can you collect his SS survivor benefits.  Nor can he legally claim those kids unless-according to the IRS

Qualifying Children
To be claimed as a qualifying child, the person must meet four criteria:

Relationship — the person must be your child, step child, adopted child, foster child, brother or sister, or a descendant of one of these (for example, a grandchild or nephew).


So unless he adopted them-he is breaking the law and committing tax fraud.

Now he will likely never get caught unless their BIO Dad or you also attempted to claim them. But if he is getting EITC and gets caught-that's gonna hurt.

I don't know who told you that guardianship doucuments are enough-but read the IRS website yourself-they are NOT enough. He needs to adopt the kids. OR marry you.


So you live with a man you are not married to and don;t work and he supports you?  Well different storkes and all. Not what I want my daughters doing though. Too risky. Agreements or not.

mstricey
by Gold Member on Oct. 14, 2012 at 9:57 AM
Sure is


Quoting LectioDivina:

Is a mother, a grandmother, and 3 kids a family?


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