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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

I can't believe I'm admitting this :(

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post
My confession is when my baby was born I never had that overwhelming love for him. I had an emergency c/s I was so drowsy on drugs. The first time I saw him I just said "oh" I just saw another baby, he didn't feel like mine. I felt even worse when i saw SO crying. he was so in love and i wanted so bad to feel that.I never had ppd though I had the baby blues for about 3 days until he actually slept 6 hours straight. He's 6 months now and I have grown to love him very much. He makes me happy. I still don't feel like I have that connection other moms have with their kids though. I think once he's more independent I might. I just feel like such a failure of a mother. I would do anything for my son but I'm still quite selfish and I hate it. I just want that overwhelming love everyone seems to have.
That's my confession :/
Posted by Anonymous on Oct. 13, 2012 at 3:17 PM
Replies (11-20):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 6 on Oct. 13, 2012 at 3:25 PM
Approximately 30% of women don't bond with their baby immediately. It's okay, you're not alone. Just because you didn't immediately love him doesn't make you a bad mom.
Kaya529
by Platinum Member on Oct. 13, 2012 at 3:25 PM
If you were a bad mom you wouldn't be feeling guilty.

How old is the baby?
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
AubreeGrace17
by Platinum Member on Oct. 13, 2012 at 3:26 PM

I can actually relate. I became pregnant when I was almost 17 and it was the shock of my life. It terrified me to think I was going to be a mom. When I finally did tell my parents I was 13 weeks and they offered me an abortion. I declined because I was in my second trimester. So, I looked into adoption with SO. I was dead set on it until I was 7 months pregnant. Then I reluctantly agreed to keep DS. When he was first born I said "Oh my god!" I think I was really shocked he was actually here. They took him off to the NICU because he had a lot of fluid in his mouth and did not cry right away, fearing pnemonia (sp?). Anyways, those first few months were really hard. I was trying to finish high school and was really depressed being left with a newborn all day. My SO worked a seasonal job at the time that required 18 hour days. I had never really been around a baby before and my son never napped for me. Finally, after I graduated things got a bit better. I started working again and this fall I started college. I still find myself really depressed and unattatched at times from DS. He's 7 months now and I struggle with depression everyday. Right now thr only things that give me purpose are this site, school, and the hope that I will have my license soon. I usually would go anon but I think putting a face to my words might help. What you're going through is not abnormal. Plenty of other moms have felt that way too. I wish you the best :)

Famousglm714
by Gina on Oct. 13, 2012 at 3:26 PM
I felt the same. The older he gets, the closer we get.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Oct. 13, 2012 at 3:27 PM
Last night for example I was exhausted and baby would not stop crying no matter what. I raised my voice a few times telling him it was time for bed. I have more but I just felt so bad for doing that when he couldn't understand.


Quoting daughteroftruth:

Why do you feel your selfish?

Anonymous
by Anonymous 7 on Oct. 13, 2012 at 3:27 PM
I felt that way with my oldest. I had ppd though. I feel even shittier because I felt that bond immediately with my other 2 kids.
kngarber
by Katie on Oct. 13, 2012 at 3:28 PM

 Awww.  Do you love and take care of your baby?  That is all that matters.  No one reacts the same way.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Oct. 13, 2012 at 3:28 PM
6 months.


Quoting Kaya529:

If you were a bad mom you wouldn't be feeling guilty.



How old is the baby?

blues_pagan
by on Oct. 13, 2012 at 3:29 PM

 It happens.  Nothing to feel bad or guilty about.  Not everyone has that sudden surge of motherly love.  While I did have a surge of motherly love (I cried and loved her from the start) when I came home I was lost.  I felt like a terrible parent who couldn't do anything right and for a while I resented the fact that I was there alone with this stranger. 

blue_mystique
by on Oct. 13, 2012 at 3:29 PM
1 mom liked this

 Its very common and a normal thing for mothers not to immediately be crazy about their child. Its just like any other loving relationship, it takes time for that bond to grow. Don't feel guilty a lot of moms go through this. I did with my dd and now she's 3 and she is the love of my life...and she knows it and gets away with way too much.

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