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I can't believe I'm admitting this :(

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post
My confession is when my baby was born I never had that overwhelming love for him. I had an emergency c/s I was so drowsy on drugs. The first time I saw him I just said "oh" I just saw another baby, he didn't feel like mine. I felt even worse when i saw SO crying. he was so in love and i wanted so bad to feel that.I never had ppd though I had the baby blues for about 3 days until he actually slept 6 hours straight. He's 6 months now and I have grown to love him very much. He makes me happy. I still don't feel like I have that connection other moms have with their kids though. I think once he's more independent I might. I just feel like such a failure of a mother. I would do anything for my son but I'm still quite selfish and I hate it. I just want that overwhelming love everyone seems to have.
That's my confession :/
Posted by Anonymous on Oct. 13, 2012 at 3:17 PM
Replies (21-30):
by on Oct. 13, 2012 at 3:30 PM
Very normal with a birth like your sadly. All the drugs interfere with natural hormones so you don't get that initial chemical bond. The relationship is more of a learned love like you'd have for a spouse or a best friend rather than a chemical bond between mother and child. It's a real issue although very little research has been done on it and many doctors don't really acknowledge it at all.
by on Oct. 13, 2012 at 3:32 PM
Maybe you should talk to someone
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by Anonymous 8 on Oct. 13, 2012 at 3:36 PM
I had my first 2 with no drugs completely natural. My 3rd I had an epidural and I felt the same way when I saw her. It didn't seem as real or something. It took a while for me to really feel the same connection. She's 3 now and I couldn't live without her!

Think of it this way, what would you do if your mom said "I don't really like your baby. He's kinda ugly and mine were never that annoying" I bet your momma claws would come out then! Lol. You just haven't had to use them yet ;)
by on Oct. 13, 2012 at 3:40 PM
While I did feel the life immediately, I know many moms who didn't. It's pretty normal, I think. Don't beat yourself up.
by on Oct. 13, 2012 at 3:41 PM

 I felt the same when i had my daughter but she had a lot of medical problems. Now she is six years old and  I love her to death. Keep up the faith mama things will get better.

by Gold Member on Oct. 13, 2012 at 3:41 PM

You may be right to an extent, that we can't judge what every woman will feel, but our bodies are designed to have that feeling and it is abnormal when it's not present at all.

That's one of a list of reasons why c-sections are not a desirable thing.

Quoting Momniscient:

I think it is silly to expect women to have that outward immediate tangible devotion to a baby.

Pregnancy wreaks havoc on emotions and giving birth is overwhelming to some. Why would we expect that we would immediately have a movie moment over this little dependent screaming being at the moment of birth?

I had an abstract devotion to my daughter but like anyone else, I have grown to love her in ways I never thought possible as I've gotten to know her. I think our expectations are too high about that whole instant rainbows and unicorns feeling at birth.

by Jamie on Oct. 13, 2012 at 3:42 PM

i think everyone feels this way at one point or another

one of these days it will just click and dont let anyone make you feel bad

by Gold Member on Oct. 13, 2012 at 3:42 PM
Love for anyone has to grow, even love for your child.
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by on Oct. 13, 2012 at 3:43 PM
Its a lot more common then you think.

My sons almost 4 and im just getting that feeling. ((hugs))
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by on Oct. 13, 2012 at 3:44 PM
You're fine. I wasn't able to bond with DAintily after I stopped breastfeeding because of all the issues I was having and never sleeping. Give it time and it will come. Just let go of the guilt and don't try to force it. Those 2 things can drag it out.

Quoting Anonymous:

6 months.

Quoting Kaya529:

If you were a bad mom you wouldn't be feeling guilty.

How old is the baby?

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